His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "His Silence - Chapter Seven"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
6 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This sounds like Jeremiah might actually be going to take her to see her brother, but it is a good thing Callum knows who she is going to be with. At this point it might be better if her adoptive parents don't know how much she needs to learn why her brother killed their parents. One thing I would suggest. Find a way to use her name in your writing of each chapter. Published books don't have a Cast of Characters usually. This is a good chapter moving her toward her goal.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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This sounds like Jeremiah might actually be going to take her to see her brother, but it is a good thing Callum knows who she is going to be with. At this point it might be better if her adoptive parents don't know how much she needs to learn why her brother killed their parents. One thing I would suggest. Find a way to use her name in your writing of each chapter. Published books don't have a Cast of Characters usually. This is a good chapter moving her toward her goal.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I like to have the characters listed at the bottom of each post as some people like to keep track about who the characters are, it doesn't appear like this in the actual manuscript. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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Cast of characters is important to us here at FanStory because we read so many things in between chapters of books.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Why is she getting in the car with a stranger????? Why didn't she meet him at the prison???? That would make more sense. Callum could with her but wait in the car and not go into see Harvey. No way should a young girl in a car with a stranger.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Why is she getting in the car with a stranger????? Why didn't she meet him at the prison???? That would make more sense. Callum could with her but wait in the car and not go into see Harvey. No way should a young girl in a car with a stranger.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Teri7
I need to make some time and go back and read some more of your book. I enjoyed reading this part. It sounds very interesting. Thank you for sharing. Teri
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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I need to make some time and go back and read some more of your book. I enjoyed reading this part. It sounds very interesting. Thank you for sharing. Teri
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank you Teri, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Things are moving swiftly now. The date is firmed up with only a slight suspicion that her mother thinks something is up. No way back now. Looking forward to reading more. No errors note. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Things are moving swiftly now. The date is firmed up with only a slight suspicion that her mother thinks something is up. No way back now. Looking forward to reading more. No errors note. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank you Debbie, Danielle definitely has no idea what's in store for her from here. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
Gee, your stories seem short. I want to keep reading and it over already. She is anxious to find out what went on and I can't blame her. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Gee, your stories seem short. I want to keep reading and it over already. She is anxious to find out what went on and I can't blame her. Nicely written.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank you Beth, I've always liked short chapters in books, I definitely think it helps with the pacing. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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I wasn't criticizing. If it was in a book I'd keep reading.
It a good idea to get people coming back for more on this site.
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I wasn't criticizing. If it was in a book I'd keep reading.
It a good idea to get people coming back for more on this site.
Comment from Begin Again
OR since Jeremiah insists she come alone...she might be dead. Maybe Harvey wants to finish off the clan. OR did Danielle do it and Harvey wants his revenge after twenty years? Or maybe they will meet and it will be happy every after? I'm not really voting for the last one though.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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OR since Jeremiah insists she come alone...she might be dead. Maybe Harvey wants to finish off the clan. OR did Danielle do it and Harvey wants his revenge after twenty years? Or maybe they will meet and it will be happy every after? I'm not really voting for the last one though.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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No hints, huh? LOL