His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "His Silence - Chapter Four"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
6 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
When one tosses back a few drinks, one's lips loosen up. This story is progressing nicely, Jacob. You have a hook here, and I look forward to the next chapter. Who the hell is this and how is it the last time he said he seen him, Danielle was only six. I'm thinking of time travel.
I'm intrigued, my friend. Well done.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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When one tosses back a few drinks, one's lips loosen up. This story is progressing nicely, Jacob. You have a hook here, and I look forward to the next chapter. Who the hell is this and how is it the last time he said he seen him, Danielle was only six. I'm thinking of time travel.
I'm intrigued, my friend. Well done.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thank you Steve, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
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My pleasure, Jacob.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is certainly a strange development and I'm not surprised Danielle is wary and a bit resistant. That said, the clincher seems be the photograph. He's drawn her in now and her curiosity has been sparked even more. Your chapter is well expressed and infused with tension regarding this meeting and the unknown hanging over Danielle. I feel sorry for her especially because she's on her own and can't speak to her parents. A couple of edits: dro(p)ping off to sleep
and one of your Dads needs an initial capital letter.
Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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This is certainly a strange development and I'm not surprised Danielle is wary and a bit resistant. That said, the clincher seems be the photograph. He's drawn her in now and her curiosity has been sparked even more. Your chapter is well expressed and infused with tension regarding this meeting and the unknown hanging over Danielle. I feel sorry for her especially because she's on her own and can't speak to her parents. A couple of edits: dro(p)ping off to sleep
and one of your Dads needs an initial capital letter.
Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Thank you Debbie, I'm pleased that you're enjoying it and thank you for spotting that error.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a very interesting chapter. I'm getting a better feel for the story and I'm anxious to read more. This mystery is one that makes me want to read more and find out why the parents were killed and who Jeremiah might be.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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This was a very interesting chapter. I'm getting a better feel for the story and I'm anxious to read more. This mystery is one that makes me want to read more and find out why the parents were killed and who Jeremiah might be.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Jacob
Your work is excellently edited I look hard for mistakes and I do not find any
I thought you could've entered this into one of the flash fiction contest, but I guess since it's a book chapter that probably wouldn't work
So Danielle has been given quite a shock
This guy knows her birth parents!! He said he hadn't seen her since she was six. I missed some past chapters and I don't know how old she was when her parents were murdered.
I think it was six because I remember she was quite a bit younger than her brother who I think was 15 but she could've been nine cause I think there might've been a six year age difference I'm not so sure. It seems like I read at least one chapter in this book.
I don't know and maybe this was explained in a prior chapter who the adoptive parents are. Are they relatives who adopted her or are they strangers?
She's lucky that somebody did want her and it sounds like they're good parents to her. So they're angels her angels.
I enjoyed reading your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Hi, Jacob
Your work is excellently edited I look hard for mistakes and I do not find any
I thought you could've entered this into one of the flash fiction contest, but I guess since it's a book chapter that probably wouldn't work
So Danielle has been given quite a shock
This guy knows her birth parents!! He said he hadn't seen her since she was six. I missed some past chapters and I don't know how old she was when her parents were murdered.
I think it was six because I remember she was quite a bit younger than her brother who I think was 15 but she could've been nine cause I think there might've been a six year age difference I'm not so sure. It seems like I read at least one chapter in this book.
I don't know and maybe this was explained in a prior chapter who the adoptive parents are. Are they relatives who adopted her or are they strangers?
She's lucky that somebody did want her and it sounds like they're good parents to her. So they're angels her angels.
I enjoyed reading your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Her adoptive parents aren't any relation to her, she was six when her parents killed by her brother, Harvey, and he was fourteen at the time. He's now thirty-four and she's twenty-six in the present. Thank you Pam, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it
Comment from Begin Again
Intriguing? You've got the "detective" in me asking all kinds of questions. Why were the women wearing all white? Is it a cult or something? And what's Jeremiah got going on whether with her brother or someone else? Very interesting!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Intriguing? You've got the "detective" in me asking all kinds of questions. Why were the women wearing all white? Is it a cult or something? And what's Jeremiah got going on whether with her brother or someone else? Very interesting!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thank you Carol, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I want to know who Jeremiah is too. I am also curious why both females had on white. It seems a little strange. What were her parents into? Thank you for sharing.
I should've been growing up with my real Mum and dad, and yet I know hardly anything about them.' (mum)
My Mum's standing behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders, there's my Dad next to her (mum's & Dad beside her, no capitals because of the 'my')
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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I want to know who Jeremiah is too. I am also curious why both females had on white. It seems a little strange. What were her parents into? Thank you for sharing.
I should've been growing up with my real Mum and dad, and yet I know hardly anything about them.' (mum)
My Mum's standing behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders, there's my Dad next to her (mum's & Dad beside her, no capitals because of the 'my')
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
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Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.