Murder At The Berkshire
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "New Arrival"Things aren't as they seem at the elderly home.
15 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Doug:
This is a good first chapter with the characterization and names. From Hattie's point of view the reader is able to observe what the big change of moving from her 40 years' worth of living in her own home to the new big Berkshire facility means to her, and the reference to her being an author might possibly be enlarged upon with mentioning what genre(s) she wrote in, or if she did any book signings or so on. Perhaps in spite of her failing eyesight, she has a large print version of one of her books that she keeps on a shelf or table by her bed. Nice read, though, with the fun alliterative names or nicknames for fellow residents. I predict that Katherine Beck will resurface due to being a talker.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Doug:
This is a good first chapter with the characterization and names. From Hattie's point of view the reader is able to observe what the big change of moving from her 40 years' worth of living in her own home to the new big Berkshire facility means to her, and the reference to her being an author might possibly be enlarged upon with mentioning what genre(s) she wrote in, or if she did any book signings or so on. Perhaps in spite of her failing eyesight, she has a large print version of one of her books that she keeps on a shelf or table by her bed. Nice read, though, with the fun alliterative names or nicknames for fellow residents. I predict that Katherine Beck will resurface due to being a talker.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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You are a perceptive one, my friend. My lack of commentary on her authoring is key. Not so much a clue . . . but you are unraveling my plot!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Getting out of our comfort zones isn't easy, but according to those who've advised me in the past, it's the key to taking our writing to a whole new level. But for you, any improvement would be overkill. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Getting out of our comfort zones isn't easy, but according to those who've advised me in the past, it's the key to taking our writing to a whole new level. But for you, any improvement would be overkill. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you! That was too kind, Sir!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You have painted what many of us are afraid to see. That even in upscale old folks homes we are still lonely. I am glad that you are stretching. I also was thinking about nefarious doings at an old folks home. Some people having help to go before their time. Those that had willed over their finances and whatnot to the home as they had no one. I was getting ready to start putting it down. And you beat me to it. Weel, I have never written a western. I guess I'll do that. Karen
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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You have painted what many of us are afraid to see. That even in upscale old folks homes we are still lonely. I am glad that you are stretching. I also was thinking about nefarious doings at an old folks home. Some people having help to go before their time. Those that had willed over their finances and whatnot to the home as they had no one. I was getting ready to start putting it down. And you beat me to it. Weel, I have never written a western. I guess I'll do that. Karen
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I'll shall be waiting with baited breath for you to arrive in your petty coats, sporting spurs.
Comment from Ulla
I really enjoyed reading this, Douglas. She seems to be a feisty lady, and doesn't seem to belong where she's ended up being. But of course at 75 she shouldn't be there at all. All too young for that treatment. I'm looking forward to seeing where you're taking this. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this, Douglas. She seems to be a feisty lady, and doesn't seem to belong where she's ended up being. But of course at 75 she shouldn't be there at all. All too young for that treatment. I'm looking forward to seeing where you're taking this. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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It is an interesting path I am taking . . .
Comment from Begin Again
Not sure where we are going with this one, but I certainly have been entertained by Hattie and her "thoughts" on each of the residents. She might make an awesome sleuth behind the scenes of a stuffy nursing home.
As for coming out of your comfort zone...go for it! I wrote a ghost story (before I wouldn't even entertain reading one) and struggled with how it should develop. It went over well with the readers. So crazy me...jumped into another one with a change of adding humor. To my surprise, I enjoyed writing it more than anything I've written in a long time. It's about to wrap up and I'm sad. It did teach this old lady something though... never give up on the adventure of trying something new.
Good luck with your story... I wish you the best!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Not sure where we are going with this one, but I certainly have been entertained by Hattie and her "thoughts" on each of the residents. She might make an awesome sleuth behind the scenes of a stuffy nursing home.
As for coming out of your comfort zone...go for it! I wrote a ghost story (before I wouldn't even entertain reading one) and struggled with how it should develop. It went over well with the readers. So crazy me...jumped into another one with a change of adding humor. To my surprise, I enjoyed writing it more than anything I've written in a long time. It's about to wrap up and I'm sad. It did teach this old lady something though... never give up on the adventure of trying something new.
Good luck with your story... I wish you the best!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thank you! I agree 100%
Comment from jmdg1954
Hey Doug.
I was hooked from word one. The way it read, in its chosen words made me feel like I was on Hattie's shoulder observing what she was telling us about each resident.
I font know what you have planned, but I'm looking for the next post.
John
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Hey Doug.
I was hooked from word one. The way it read, in its chosen words made me feel like I was on Hattie's shoulder observing what she was telling us about each resident.
I font know what you have planned, but I'm looking for the next post.
John
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thanks, John! I hope you jump in again
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You have me wondering where you're going with this one. I do like the character, Hattie. She interesting, but no Greg. I can't wait to read more.
She sat down 'Crooked House' unable to focus. (She set down)
The woman had sat down at Hattie's dining table (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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You have me wondering where you're going with this one. I do like the character, Hattie. She interesting, but no Greg. I can't wait to read more.
She sat down 'Crooked House' unable to focus. (She set down)
The woman had sat down at Hattie's dining table (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Goodness, you are always such a big help. I really appreciate you so much, Barbara!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nicely set up. This looks like a great setting for a 'who-dun-it'. And you have introduced Hattie as a perfect detective - at least that's what I'm hoping/expecting.
Good work and good luck with it.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Very nicely set up. This looks like a great setting for a 'who-dun-it'. And you have introduced Hattie as a perfect detective - at least that's what I'm hoping/expecting.
Good work and good luck with it.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Wayne. We shall see where this will go.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I enjoyed this Doug! You painted a vivid picture of this elderly woman, surrounded by people, but still dislocated from the world. But I guess she might have a big secret. Maybe she killed her husband:) or will uncover some goings-on in the home. She's an author after all and will probably have a keen imagination. I'm getting ahead of myself a bit, so I'll wait and see. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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I enjoyed this Doug! You painted a vivid picture of this elderly woman, surrounded by people, but still dislocated from the world. But I guess she might have a big secret. Maybe she killed her husband:) or will uncover some goings-on in the home. She's an author after all and will probably have a keen imagination. I'm getting ahead of myself a bit, so I'll wait and see. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thank you! I am excited to write this one!
Comment from Sally Law
This is a greati intro to your new book, dear D. I love the funny names of the characters, especially Art Antica for the cold man. Hattie seems too "with it" to be in a home. Still, I feel she's there to a solve a crime, perhaps, and melt the ice. Wonderful character development, my friend.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal Xos
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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This is a greati intro to your new book, dear D. I love the funny names of the characters, especially Art Antica for the cold man. Hattie seems too "with it" to be in a home. Still, I feel she's there to a solve a crime, perhaps, and melt the ice. Wonderful character development, my friend.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal Xos
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thanks, Sal.