Papa Joey
A 75-word story15 total reviews
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading your story. It is very cute. The picture is a great choice for this story. I was surprised at the ending. Good luck in the contest. Well written.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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I enjoyed reading your story. It is very cute. The picture is a great choice for this story. I was surprised at the ending. Good luck in the contest. Well written.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Brenda. FanStory does not want to send my relies today. This is my second attempt. Rod
Comment from Madeleine Mardis
RodG, what a delightful story! So heartwarming, haha, the innocence of youth! When my brother was born, I pointed to his genitals and said to my brothers and sisters,"Daddy hammered that on with a hammer and nails," haha! Great story! Maddy
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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RodG, what a delightful story! So heartwarming, haha, the innocence of youth! When my brother was born, I pointed to his genitals and said to my brothers and sisters,"Daddy hammered that on with a hammer and nails," haha! Great story! Maddy
Comment Written 23-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Maddy, I am so pleased you found PAPA JOEY heartwarming and fun to read. Many thanks for your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
This 75-word story captures a sweet and whimsical moment, highlighting a child's innocent desire and appreciation for his new family of puppies.
Strengths:
1. Charming Character: Joey's sense of wonder and affection for the puppies creates a warm and endearing portrayal of his character. His gentle interaction with Sissy and her pups reflects his loving nature.
2. Imagery: The image of Joey on the lawn with the puppies and the mention of the fallen oak leaves adds a vivid, seasonal touch to the scene.
3.Humor and Heart: The final line introduces a light-hearted twist with Joey's humorous wish for a kitten, adding a playful element to the story while still showing his genuine gratitude.
Suggestion:
Expand Detail: To enhance the narrative, consider adding a bit more detail about Joey's actions or feelings. For example, describing how he feels as he watches the puppies or what led him to clear the lawn could deepen the reader's connection to the scene. (Joey's heart swelled with joy and pride as he gently stroked Sissy's head. )
Overall, the story is delightful and effectively conveys both warmth and humor. Joey's affectionate nature and his playful wish for a kitten make this a memorable and engaging read.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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This 75-word story captures a sweet and whimsical moment, highlighting a child's innocent desire and appreciation for his new family of puppies.
Strengths:
1. Charming Character: Joey's sense of wonder and affection for the puppies creates a warm and endearing portrayal of his character. His gentle interaction with Sissy and her pups reflects his loving nature.
2. Imagery: The image of Joey on the lawn with the puppies and the mention of the fallen oak leaves adds a vivid, seasonal touch to the scene.
3.Humor and Heart: The final line introduces a light-hearted twist with Joey's humorous wish for a kitten, adding a playful element to the story while still showing his genuine gratitude.
Suggestion:
Expand Detail: To enhance the narrative, consider adding a bit more detail about Joey's actions or feelings. For example, describing how he feels as he watches the puppies or what led him to clear the lawn could deepen the reader's connection to the scene. (Joey's heart swelled with joy and pride as he gently stroked Sissy's head. )
Overall, the story is delightful and effectively conveys both warmth and humor. Joey's affectionate nature and his playful wish for a kitten make this a memorable and engaging read.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Patty, I sent you a much more detailed reply, but Iam afraid FanStory is not registering them today. Many thanks for this marvelous review of PAPA JOEY. Rod
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I'm glad I'm not the only one this is happening to.
Comment from Gunner Lil
Very nice story about a boy and his best friend. An easy read that has a lot to say in seventy-five. A good pace and flow.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Very nice story about a boy and his best friend. An easy read that has a lot to say in seventy-five. A good pace and flow.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much, Gunner Lil.
Comment from Brandi Kehl
The only thing that confused me was that the puppies were eating dog food, but it said Sissy was sharing her new family. Not sure they can eat dog food that young. Then the punch line at the end, and I thought this story was magnificent. I laughed so hard. Bravo!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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The only thing that confused me was that the puppies were eating dog food, but it said Sissy was sharing her new family. Not sure they can eat dog food that young. Then the punch line at the end, and I thought this story was magnificent. I laughed so hard. Bravo!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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You are probably right about dog food for puppies that young. Glad my story made you laugh.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Aww, that's so sweet with the Rockwell image! And your delightful 75 work flash perfectly complements it, leading up to your final, amusing punch-line. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Aww, that's so sweet with the Rockwell image! And your delightful 75 work flash perfectly complements it, leading up to your final, amusing punch-line. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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This is the third time big have replied, Debbie. Hope this one gets through. Many thanks.
Comment from jessizero
This piece of flash fiction was so much fun and flat-out adorable. I liked that you called the story "Papa Joey." :) Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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This piece of flash fiction was so much fun and flat-out adorable. I liked that you called the story "Papa Joey." :) Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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I am thrilled to hear those words, jessizero. You made my day!
Comment from Begin Again
Poor Joey! That's another story for another day! but he was proud of the puppies too! Cute seventy five word flash. Made me smile and enjoyed the read. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Poor Joey! That's another story for another day! but he was proud of the puppies too! Cute seventy five word flash. Made me smile and enjoyed the read. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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I am so pleased my shortie made you smile, Carol. Many thanks for your kind words.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the 75 Word Flash writing prompt. A really cute flash story with all the information the reader needs in 75 words and a very humorous surprise ending. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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An excellent entry for the 75 Word Flash writing prompt. A really cute flash story with all the information the reader needs in 75 words and a very humorous surprise ending. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Marilyn, for your kind praise of my shortie.
Comment from Wendy G
The innocence of childhood! I enjoyed this sweet story, just right for a flash fiction of seventy-five words. The image is lovely too, a good choice. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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The innocence of childhood! I enjoyed this sweet story, just right for a flash fiction of seventy-five words. The image is lovely too, a good choice. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, Wendy.