The Crying Mare
A face in a photograph.8 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Shirley.
This is a well done free verse with good use of line breaks and metaphor which gives strong images of farm life from your grandmother's memories.
It sounds like harvest festivals were fun.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Have a nice day and weekend
Joan
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Hi Shirley.
This is a well done free verse with good use of line breaks and metaphor which gives strong images of farm life from your grandmother's memories.
It sounds like harvest festivals were fun.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Have a nice day and weekend
Joan
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Joan.
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My pleasure, Shirley.
Joan
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a really good poem. I very much liked reading it. I would have given it six stars, but for some reason the 6 is not showing today. Congratulations on the contest prize.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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This is a really good poem. I very much liked reading it. I would have given it six stars, but for some reason the 6 is not showing today. Congratulations on the contest prize.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Crystie
Comment from zanya
A rich poetic tapestry presented here as a sense of nostalgia is so effectively evoked with memories evoked and senses powerfully stirred and a superb pic to illustrate,
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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A rich poetic tapestry presented here as a sense of nostalgia is so effectively evoked with memories evoked and senses powerfully stirred and a superb pic to illustrate,
Comment Written 20-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Zanya.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You tell a sad story as a contest entry. You chose the perfect words to show emotion as you told this story. Thank you for sharing this entry with us. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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You tell a sad story as a contest entry. You chose the perfect words to show emotion as you told this story. Thank you for sharing this entry with us. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Barbara.
Comment from EeanBlack
Your history is so deep and interesting. Ours isn't even three hundred years old and we're already trying to deny or erase it. I bet the ultra-religious would call the Korn Babya a pagan god. Ahh the Iconoclasts, gotta love 'em.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Your history is so deep and interesting. Ours isn't even three hundred years old and we're already trying to deny or erase it. I bet the ultra-religious would call the Korn Babya a pagan god. Ahh the Iconoclasts, gotta love 'em.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Eean. A sixer! - made me smile :)
Comment from Teri7
Shirley, This is a very well written story in a poem free verse. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the artwork you chose. Thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Shirley, This is a very well written story in a poem free verse. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the artwork you chose. Thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Teri.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is an evocative, nostalgic depiction of grandma and the life she led. Full of character, atmosphere and poignancy for a former age. I would love to have seen some notes, though, just to help fill in the gaps: the kern baby (which I know is a good luck symbol but would be interested to know more from the context here). Also the crying mare (is this simply the mare neighing). But Shirley, this is an impressive free verse that instantly transports me back to another time but one that has dark overtones. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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This is an evocative, nostalgic depiction of grandma and the life she led. Full of character, atmosphere and poignancy for a former age. I would love to have seen some notes, though, just to help fill in the gaps: the kern baby (which I know is a good luck symbol but would be interested to know more from the context here). Also the crying mare (is this simply the mare neighing). But Shirley, this is an impressive free verse that instantly transports me back to another time but one that has dark overtones. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Hi Debbie. Thank you for your generous crit. I have now added a few explanatory words in the author notes. Thanks x
Comment from karenina
This is fine free verse, Shirley.
Every line lulled me into a comfortable litany of memories...
Succinct and lovely imagery throughout and that feeling of nostalgia that warms the heart...
Until the end.
Like so many secrets held back in the day, it's astounding to learn the darkest secrets.
The crying mare.
Perfect.
I'm out of sixes.
This deserves them.
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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This is fine free verse, Shirley.
Every line lulled me into a comfortable litany of memories...
Succinct and lovely imagery throughout and that feeling of nostalgia that warms the heart...
Until the end.
Like so many secrets held back in the day, it's astounding to learn the darkest secrets.
The crying mare.
Perfect.
I'm out of sixes.
This deserves them.
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Karenina x
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Welcome!
