2024 Japanese Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "Droopy Mums"x
17 total reviews
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
"My Mother and I were very close. I was always next to her, like a little barnacle."
^
I love this description.
I enjoyed your beautiful prose and the Haiku fit so well.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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"My Mother and I were very close. I was always next to her, like a little barnacle."
^
I love this description.
I enjoyed your beautiful prose and the Haiku fit so well.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
I do love reading a well written haibun. First it hits you with a story that connects through its sincerity and truth... so there is the echo of the story still present when one then reads the haiku, and that for me leaves a ripple in the water of my mind... just as if someone had thrown a pebble into my thoughts that creates length and depth of ongoing movement. It solidifies in both story and haiku in a very deep fashion.
Because I know this to be non fiction just adds the extra appreciation of what you have composed. I respect and admire your talent and of your craft. You are so well-rounded in multiple genres!
Truly beautiful within the sadness of the lasting memories MariVal.
Is anyone actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world fade and die away? Hmmmmm?
There is a thin line separating life from death, but once it's crossed, it becomes as large as an ocean, and so treacherous that it's impossible to cross back. -- Author unknown
With our thoughts we create...
a bridge of consciousness.
Warmest regards,
James.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Hi MariVal,
I do love reading a well written haibun. First it hits you with a story that connects through its sincerity and truth... so there is the echo of the story still present when one then reads the haiku, and that for me leaves a ripple in the water of my mind... just as if someone had thrown a pebble into my thoughts that creates length and depth of ongoing movement. It solidifies in both story and haiku in a very deep fashion.
Because I know this to be non fiction just adds the extra appreciation of what you have composed. I respect and admire your talent and of your craft. You are so well-rounded in multiple genres!
Truly beautiful within the sadness of the lasting memories MariVal.
Is anyone actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world fade and die away? Hmmmmm?
There is a thin line separating life from death, but once it's crossed, it becomes as large as an ocean, and so treacherous that it's impossible to cross back. -- Author unknown
With our thoughts we create...
a bridge of consciousness.
Warmest regards,
James.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Hello, James,
It's so good to hear from you. This is a very personal piece and your exceptional six stars review and intuitive feedback means a lot to me. You know my history so your words touch my heart deeply. I put myself in that moment and relieved it. To me that's what haibun is about. My friend Gretchen has been encouraging to write prose but I'm a poet so a haibun is my compromise. LoL
I hope all is well.
Con mucho cariņo
Marival
From my heart to yours, I'll cross the distance on the wings of my soul.
Comment from LateBloomer
Gypsy, no child she ever know the loss of a mother, and no mother should ever no the loss of a child. When your mother died, your world changed forevermore.
Your haiku poem is filled with vivid imagery and sensory appeal. I could see it, and smell stagnant water. Well done. Xo. Margaret
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Gypsy, no child she ever know the loss of a mother, and no mother should ever no the loss of a child. When your mother died, your world changed forevermore.
Your haiku poem is filled with vivid imagery and sensory appeal. I could see it, and smell stagnant water. Well done. Xo. Margaret
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from jessizero
My youngest niece is ten years old, and her nickname is "the barnacle" because she stays glued to her mother. I am sorry for your loss. You told the story well and your poem was great. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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My youngest niece is ten years old, and her nickname is "the barnacle" because she stays glued to her mother. I am sorry for your loss. You told the story well and your poem was great. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I hate chrysanthemums too but you have much more reason. What a traumatic event for you. No wonder it's so memorable. The haiku is a delight to read, not only for the dual meaning of 'mums' but for the way you've so succinctly conveyed the essence of your story in that economic form. Well done, Gypsy. And take care Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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I hate chrysanthemums too but you have much more reason. What a traumatic event for you. No wonder it's so memorable. The haiku is a delight to read, not only for the dual meaning of 'mums' but for the way you've so succinctly conveyed the essence of your story in that economic form. Well done, Gypsy. And take care Debbie
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Thesis
It must have been hard at your young age to make sense of everything that was happening, especially since you were so close to her. It's a sad part of life. Also, thanks for the information. I never heard of a Haibun, but based on your notes, you nailed it.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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It must have been hard at your young age to make sense of everything that was happening, especially since you were so close to her. It's a sad part of life. Also, thanks for the information. I never heard of a Haibun, but based on your notes, you nailed it.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your five stars review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Mary Vigasin
We share the same sadness. My mother died when I was 7.
I have to say having the wake at home would have been terrifying and haunting for me. It would have brought reality home.
Your story is haunting, sad and you allow your reader to join you in mourning by being present in the room and grieve.
Mary
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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We share the same sadness. My mother died when I was 7.
I have to say having the wake at home would have been terrifying and haunting for me. It would have brought reality home.
Your story is haunting, sad and you allow your reader to join you in mourning by being present in the room and grieve.
Mary
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much, Mary. I am so sorry for your loss, I know how it is and you were even younger. I really appreciate your exceptional six stars review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading. I happen to really like Haibuns. This is a beautifully written Haibun. Thank you for sharing about your mother. I'm positive it's still hurts.
I was always next to her, like a little barnacle. (always beside her)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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I enjoyed reading. I happen to really like Haibuns. This is a beautifully written Haibun. Thank you for sharing about your mother. I'm positive it's still hurts.
I was always next to her, like a little barnacle. (always beside her)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your five stars review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from shelley kaye
love the "drooping mums" title! nice play on mum and the flower...
is it tradition to have a wake in the person's bedroom? interesting!
a great haibun with wonderful imagery, emotion, and dialogue in a smooth flow
thank you for sharing!
shelley :)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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love the "drooping mums" title! nice play on mum and the flower...
is it tradition to have a wake in the person's bedroom? interesting!
a great haibun with wonderful imagery, emotion, and dialogue in a smooth flow
thank you for sharing!
shelley :)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Yes, in Spain wakes were at home when I was little.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from RJ Heritage
Losing your mother at such a young age comes with trauma, as you know from the experience. So many people mean well, but make things worse, and adults have a stupid way of getting lost in their own emotions while overlooking the feelings of the little ones, who are rarely as expressive. I definitely see connection between your use of the chrysanthemums and the death of your dear mother. It is a very sobering poem that makes me reflect on the death of my own mother. But with time dealing with it became easier, but there are days... Your Haibun is well written and complimentary of the prose
RJ
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Losing your mother at such a young age comes with trauma, as you know from the experience. So many people mean well, but make things worse, and adults have a stupid way of getting lost in their own emotions while overlooking the feelings of the little ones, who are rarely as expressive. I definitely see connection between your use of the chrysanthemums and the death of your dear mother. It is a very sobering poem that makes me reflect on the death of my own mother. But with time dealing with it became easier, but there are days... Your Haibun is well written and complimentary of the prose
RJ
Comment Written 27-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
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You're welcome