The Tainted
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Training with Aura Pt.1"A fantasy story following hunter Taya
3 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
I like the dynamic between your character, and the tensions that seem to be building. My guess is Demi won't turn against the kingdom, but your writing can surprise me. Keep up the wonderful work!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I like the dynamic between your character, and the tensions that seem to be building. My guess is Demi won't turn against the kingdom, but your writing can surprise me. Keep up the wonderful work!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you, I'm glad that it's not so cliche it's predictable.
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Not at all. You're an excellent writer.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Erika. I hope you are well.
This seems like a good chapter. I had been gone from the site for 4 1/2 years, so, I haven't seen all the chapters before this one. I think I read one or two. I remember the tainted being in two things.
Sounds like they're going on a thrilling adventure trying to fight the tainted. Now they're having open rebellion to the leader. And it's even split two brothers up.
If their mission is going to be successful, they all have to work together. That's why they split between the two brothers is dangerous.
It will still take a while for me to get the feeling for all the different characters
Here you just can't leave a dangling particle either 'we're not privy to' But, I prefer 'to which we're not yet privy'. Ending a sentence with a preposition 'to' is frowned upon
" the rest have some other role to fill that we're not yet privy. "
Here it should be almost
" manifested, my flames devoured all most all of the enemy soldiers. "
I enjoyed your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Hi, Erika. I hope you are well.
This seems like a good chapter. I had been gone from the site for 4 1/2 years, so, I haven't seen all the chapters before this one. I think I read one or two. I remember the tainted being in two things.
Sounds like they're going on a thrilling adventure trying to fight the tainted. Now they're having open rebellion to the leader. And it's even split two brothers up.
If their mission is going to be successful, they all have to work together. That's why they split between the two brothers is dangerous.
It will still take a while for me to get the feeling for all the different characters
Here you just can't leave a dangling particle either 'we're not privy to' But, I prefer 'to which we're not yet privy'. Ending a sentence with a preposition 'to' is frowned upon
" the rest have some other role to fill that we're not yet privy. "
Here it should be almost
" manifested, my flames devoured all most all of the enemy soldiers. "
I enjoyed your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you for the feedback. I'm not very good with grammar. I've actually only been on this site for about 2 months maybe? So you didn't miss much from me! Welcome back though
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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This was well written Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you :)