Taya
Taya's past in the orphanage11 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this sweet fantasy entry with us. I enjoyed reading and want wish you luck with the contest.
Max sat down at the mini table, designed for kids, and began to draw. (you can omit 'down' it's an extra word and is understood)
"Taya," Max called me. This is for you." ("This is for you." Please keep an eye on writing your dialogue.)
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Thank you for sharing this sweet fantasy entry with us. I enjoyed reading and want wish you luck with the contest.
Max sat down at the mini table, designed for kids, and began to draw. (you can omit 'down' it's an extra word and is understood)
"Taya," Max called me. This is for you." ("This is for you." Please keep an eye on writing your dialogue.)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a lovely story about a very special child and her equally special "brother". Taya's father had taught her well and she was the savior of the orphanage when the food was running out. I can see this becoming a book about a truly incredible girl named Taya.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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This is a lovely story about a very special child and her equally special "brother". Taya's father had taught her well and she was the savior of the orphanage when the food was running out. I can see this becoming a book about a truly incredible girl named Taya.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much! She is in a book. She's the main character in 'the Tainted'. This is her background story. The vibe of the main story is very different though
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It's nice how we begin the story with a cheerful relationship forming. You are building a nice character here also drawing the reader in to become enamored with Taya. This leaves lots of potential: "'I'm getting old, and you are the oldest child in this orphanage. I won't force you but I would like you to come with me and lend me your strength." This is what healing is all about: " The more I tried to bring healing to these kids, the more my own heart healed." nicely written
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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It's nice how we begin the story with a cheerful relationship forming. You are building a nice character here also drawing the reader in to become enamored with Taya. This leaves lots of potential: "'I'm getting old, and you are the oldest child in this orphanage. I won't force you but I would like you to come with me and lend me your strength." This is what healing is all about: " The more I tried to bring healing to these kids, the more my own heart healed." nicely written
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much! And thank you for reading despite the length!
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I fortunately have a Gizmo on my chromebook that frames at all words and reads it to me. When people have longer than usual posts, I just use that luxury.
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Oh that's so smart!
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I think there's a way of installing that in your computer regardless of what you have for a computer. It certainly does help when there's somebody who written a post for 3,000 words My ADD would not be able to handle that which is why I in writing for my audience little more than the thousand words.
Comment from jim vecchio
Wow! I feel like I really went through something, but a GREAT something. Hope all will review this grand piece of writing. If it weren't for a contest, you could easily have split this into two or three parts, but this story seems better as a cohesive whole. Only one very minor hiccup: 2nd paragraph: "away" should be "a way".
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Wow! I feel like I really went through something, but a GREAT something. Hope all will review this grand piece of writing. If it weren't for a contest, you could easily have split this into two or three parts, but this story seems better as a cohesive whole. Only one very minor hiccup: 2nd paragraph: "away" should be "a way".
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Oops, forgot that one. Lol yah it honestly could have been longer but I checked the word count and decided I better stop lol. I'm glad you enjoyed it
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You are doing a FANTASTIC job!
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Thank you :)
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😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Comment from Neonewman
Wow! This is a heart wrenching, feel good story. I love that Taya's father taught her so many survival skills. As far as I'm concerned, she's a saint.
Thank you for sharing and I hope this piece does well in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Wow! This is a heart wrenching, feel good story. I love that Taya's father taught her so many survival skills. As far as I'm concerned, she's a saint.
Thank you for sharing and I hope this piece does well in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you
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My pleasure.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Good work! The story has a solid beginning and ending, and Taya is a unique character who holds the reader's interest. There were a couple of things that confused me. I didn't know until Mother Superior and Taya traveled in a carriage for such a long time that the story was set in the past. It would have helped me to get some clue early only about the time setting.
There were some grammatical errors: "time past (passed)" "We will find away ( a way)," and jumping from present tense to past tense and back again.
I loved the idea that her patron saint "had a hearing problem." The story is sprinkled with great ideas.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Good work! The story has a solid beginning and ending, and Taya is a unique character who holds the reader's interest. There were a couple of things that confused me. I didn't know until Mother Superior and Taya traveled in a carriage for such a long time that the story was set in the past. It would have helped me to get some clue early only about the time setting.
There were some grammatical errors: "time past (passed)" "We will find away ( a way)," and jumping from present tense to past tense and back again.
I loved the idea that her patron saint "had a hearing problem." The story is sprinkled with great ideas.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you for the review and for the corrections. Oh I'm sorry, Taya is a character from a book I'm currently writing, called the Tainted. Because that story sets up this universe I didn't think to specify that. I'll add a note
Comment from Waterfall Poet
Really enjoyed this piece Erika. Great imagery. I could feel myself following her into the woods to search for food. I can understand how it was difficult keeping it short as this story has a good plot.
Great job!
Wayne
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Really enjoyed this piece Erika. Great imagery. I could feel myself following her into the woods to search for food. I can understand how it was difficult keeping it short as this story has a good plot.
Great job!
Wayne
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you, honestly it might have been longer if I didn't suddenly decide to check the word count. I initially planned to go into more detail about her experience in the last orphanage
Comment from royowen
What a lovely story of the growth and a building of confidence and developing for a introverted person in to a confident person who gets to know, and all the time overcoming obstacles in her life, growing into a strong young woman, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : so now I (can) climb a tree.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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What a lovely story of the growth and a building of confidence and developing for a introverted person in to a confident person who gets to know, and all the time overcoming obstacles in her life, growing into a strong young woman, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : so now I (can) climb a tree.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your lovely review and for taking the time to read my story :)
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Welcome
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I figured it was Taya's background.
Just curious, did you write this for the contest? Or delete it from 'Tainted' and then find a home for it?
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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I figured it was Taya's background.
Just curious, did you write this for the contest? Or delete it from 'Tainted' and then find a home for it?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Well I wrote it for the contest but I'll be writing backstories for all the main characters, outside of the main work
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story indeed my friend! The characters interact lovely together and this is a very well written piece. The imagery is on point! Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you;-)
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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Excellent story indeed my friend! The characters interact lovely together and this is a very well written piece. The imagery is on point! Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you;-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you for reading such a long piece. I'm glad you like it :)
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;-)