The Tainted
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Woman in the Mountains"A fantasy story following hunter Taya
3 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
Now we know a bit more about the village and some of Demi's circumstances. Great the way you are "layering in" these elements and not telling too much, too soon.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
  |
Now we know a bit more about the village and some of Demi's circumstances. Great the way you are "layering in" these elements and not telling too much, too soon.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
-
Thank you for saying that. I've had a problem with rushing my endings so I've mapped out my chapters to hopefully avoid doing that. But since I'm farther along in writing than you are reading, I'm not sure what the pacing is like.
-
I m the worst when it comes to pacing. I may brood about things, then words will erupt like a volcano. I cannot plan things out too long in advance.
-
I only put the chapter titles down, making sure my main plot was filled by each title. After that, I write out of order because sometimes I know what a later scene will look like but not the ones before.
-
I usually don't have any idea till I sit with a pen or the keyboard.
-
I'm like that at the beginning but then I get a sense of where I want to go, but how I want to do it.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good plot movement.
"Wait so you're not at the inn? - You need a comma after 'wait'.
Umm since people come here so often - You need a comma after 'Umm'.
twenty's - (twenties?)
"Well I heard there's a smithy here and I need a new sword." - You need a comma after 'here', but a semicolon might be better since there is a complete sentence on each side.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
|
Good plot movement.
"Wait so you're not at the inn? - You need a comma after 'wait'.
Umm since people come here so often - You need a comma after 'Umm'.
twenty's - (twenties?)
"Well I heard there's a smithy here and I need a new sword." - You need a comma after 'here', but a semicolon might be better since there is a complete sentence on each side.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
-
Thanks again!
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Erika
We have Demi two chapters in a row, so his character has been very well developed. I don't understand yet why they need their swords for the guild unless some people on the guild are tainted.
Red haired girl makes things intriguing. But maybe his girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that.
Very well written. Vivid characters I enjoyed reading your story chapter.
Here tore off
"Demi opened the bag and tore of a piece of bread. "Taya, I'm rich."
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
|
Hi, Erika
We have Demi two chapters in a row, so his character has been very well developed. I don't understand yet why they need their swords for the guild unless some people on the guild are tainted.
Red haired girl makes things intriguing. But maybe his girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that.
Very well written. Vivid characters I enjoyed reading your story chapter.
Here tore off
"Demi opened the bag and tore of a piece of bread. "Taya, I'm rich."
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
-
Oops, missed that. Thank you.
Umm it's more like they need swords in general since they're hunters. In the next chapter it will make more sense as to why he wants it for the guild though.
Taya's sister has red hair and they're searching for her.
Thanks for reading!