Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Well done. Good plot and character development.
"Eat up, it will take... - Maybe a period after 'up'. Or a semicolon separating the two complete sentences.
Ohhh, I've heard of him! He was called 'The Master of Sword'. - needs opening quotes
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2024

you're reviews are always so helpful! Thanks!

Comment from jim vecchio

Excellent

Excellent! Yesterday, I re-watched a movie I've seen dozens of times, "The Lost Weekend." In it, Don, an aspiring writer, talks about writing about love. He says it's the most difficult thing to write about. "You've got to capture it in the details". That's what you're doing. Not just "He kissed her, she kissed him" but you are adept in writing about the circumstances and actions from which love arises.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2024

Awe thanks :) I want people to grow attached to the characters and relate to them like they're real. Like in 'Demetri' somebody said they were sad when Silvester died, which means they were engaged enough to feel that emotion. That's my goal

Comment from Nicole Schmidt

Excellent

I woke up with tears streaming down my face. It was a cherished memory of a happier time.

Great overall story. I can feel the emotion throughout the story.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2024

Yeah! Thank you:)