The Tainted
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Demetri Von Arstine"A fantasy story following hunter Taya
3 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
Your story progresses well. It seems like "Shakespeare meets Dungeons and Dragons". No criticism, just relating my feelings. Every now and then, you lapse into a mild expletive. I don't feel your story needs thst. Not you, but some writers used these words rather than being creative and letting the story do the telling. Don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but I, at least, feel being forced to use language other than curse words increases a person's worth as an author.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Your story progresses well. It seems like "Shakespeare meets Dungeons and Dragons". No criticism, just relating my feelings. Every now and then, you lapse into a mild expletive. I don't feel your story needs thst. Not you, but some writers used these words rather than being creative and letting the story do the telling. Don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but I, at least, feel being forced to use language other than curse words increases a person's worth as an author.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Oh I'm glad you got the dungeons and dragons relation! What is a mild expletive? I don't know that word.
Well the curse words are actually more of a reflection of what type of character she has. She's meant to seem down to earth and unrefined but I'm always open to suggestions.
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You're right. There are only stark, not mild expletives. I know it was a much different time, but imagine something like "Hamlet" or Dickens' writings if there were suddenly an f-bomb or two. However, people are more accepting now.
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
What followed was a sword dance honed in war. Starting with the eyes that had begun to heal, the knees, and then the ankles, Demi decisively cut down the mutant without wasting any movement. The blue flames kept its regenerative abilities at bay. Finally, with the tainted lying prone at his feet, Demi sliced off its head.
Amazing work here
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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What followed was a sword dance honed in war. Starting with the eyes that had begun to heal, the knees, and then the ankles, Demi decisively cut down the mutant without wasting any movement. The blue flames kept its regenerative abilities at bay. Finally, with the tainted lying prone at his feet, Demi sliced off its head.
Amazing work here
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Erika
I've read other chapters for this novel. This seems a bit shorter than most.
Is this the last chapter? It sounds like nobody is going to go after the partner.
But, maybe you have something else in mind. I could not tell if the tainted he killed with his sword will be the last one
Anyway. Well written. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Hi, Erika
I've read other chapters for this novel. This seems a bit shorter than most.
Is this the last chapter? It sounds like nobody is going to go after the partner.
But, maybe you have something else in mind. I could not tell if the tainted he killed with his sword will be the last one
Anyway. Well written. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Lol no it's not the last chapter...it's probably not even at the halfway point. I think this novel is going to end up being pretty long.
Thank you so much for reading!
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This chapter is shorter because I posted a separate side story called Demetri and it explains how he becomes Demi in the current novel.
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Ahhh