Call To Arms
A tribute to veterans.11 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
Beautifully written and so true. Our soldiers have sacrificed so much for our country and our freedom, that we can't begin to pay them back. Many will never know how appreciated they are. Well written, best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Beautifully written and so true. Our soldiers have sacrificed so much for our country and our freedom, that we can't begin to pay them back. Many will never know how appreciated they are. Well written, best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you! Appreciate the review.
Comment from Soledadpaz
I'm not well-versed in the forms of poetry but this looks excellent to me. The message is both heartfelt and clear. Nice touch with the Army green background. Memorial Day always brings to mind the south Texas boys of my generation taken by Vietnam. In my mind, they are all represented by one young Marine, but he lives on in the shape of the Navy destroyer USS Gonzalez.
Well done,
Sol
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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I'm not well-versed in the forms of poetry but this looks excellent to me. The message is both heartfelt and clear. Nice touch with the Army green background. Memorial Day always brings to mind the south Texas boys of my generation taken by Vietnam. In my mind, they are all represented by one young Marine, but he lives on in the shape of the Navy destroyer USS Gonzalez.
Well done,
Sol
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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It is important to remember them. Thank you for this awesome review! Appreciate you!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Well, talk about a natural talent!! This is your first tanka?? You've done GREAT with it!! I'll be looking for it in the Winner's Circle; that's for sure.
You captured the spirit of it exactly. Beautifully done!! xoxo
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Well, talk about a natural talent!! This is your first tanka?? You've done GREAT with it!! I'll be looking for it in the Winner's Circle; that's for sure.
You captured the spirit of it exactly. Beautifully done!! xoxo
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you, Rachelle! We shall see.
Comment from Sally Law
Tanka was my first poetry attempt on here and contest win. It was the Halloween Tanka if you can believe it. I about passed out. I now wish this for you with this wonderful Tanka poem! and my very best for the contest. Fingers Crossed!
Thank you for your service to our country, dear D.
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Tanka was my first poetry attempt on here and contest win. It was the Halloween Tanka if you can believe it. I about passed out. I now wish this for you with this wonderful Tanka poem! and my very best for the contest. Fingers Crossed!
Thank you for your service to our country, dear D.
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Oh my! I don't worry to much about ribbons anymore. Just here for my friends, like you!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A powerful statement complementing that iconic image, impressively conveyed in your tanka. I like the concept of togetherness against the enemy, a positive forged, albeit in the worst of scenarios. Well done, Doug, and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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A powerful statement complementing that iconic image, impressively conveyed in your tanka. I like the concept of togetherness against the enemy, a positive forged, albeit in the worst of scenarios. Well done, Doug, and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you, Debbie!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
What is it that moved you to write a first tanka? The challenge of the challenge or a curiosity to see if you could do it, like when we wwere men and thought every gal was fair game. Still, you did well with the entry, whereas I struck out at bat like Babe Ruth, who amassed over 3000 strikeouts but is remembered for his 714 home runs.
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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What is it that moved you to write a first tanka? The challenge of the challenge or a curiosity to see if you could do it, like when we wwere men and thought every gal was fair game. Still, you did well with the entry, whereas I struck out at bat like Babe Ruth, who amassed over 3000 strikeouts but is remembered for his 714 home runs.
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Ha! Good analogy. I just wanted the challenge. All Haiku all the time gets boring.
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P.S. - I had no home runs
Comment from royowen
My dad loved our ANZAC day, is our forces day, those who've served in major conflicts, he and best mate, I had to drop them off for the dawn service, then after the March and celebrating with their mates, I had to pick them up, drunk of course, beautifully written Douglas, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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My dad loved our ANZAC day, is our forces day, those who've served in major conflicts, he and best mate, I had to drop them off for the dawn service, then after the March and celebrating with their mates, I had to pick them up, drunk of course, beautifully written Douglas, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you, Roy!
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Douglas
Comment from Wendy G
Well done - to me, this is a fine Tanka! (Not that I know much about Tankas!)
An appropriate, relevant and timely theme. Soldiers indeed form a brotherhood - they face and cope with things together that men should not have to experience. You've paid them a good tribute.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Well done - to me, this is a fine Tanka! (Not that I know much about Tankas!)
An appropriate, relevant and timely theme. Soldiers indeed form a brotherhood - they face and cope with things together that men should not have to experience. You've paid them a good tribute.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you! It was an interesting challenge.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Beautiful Jisei tanka. Jisei is a death poem.
Are you a veteran? If you are, thank you for your service and sacrifice.
Beautiful presentation too.
I can't even imagine how scary and disturbing war is and many veterans don't get what they deserve when they come back. It shameful.
Good syllables count and grammatically connected line 1 and 2.
On lines 3, 4, 5 would flow better if you connect them. There's nothing wrong with the way it is but it's just a suggestion. ð???
But I can't see any words you can change, each line is necessary.
..........
in the line of fire 5
common men called forth to serve 7 (dash here)
...........
veterans stand tall 5
no one ever left behind 7
a brotherhood forged in war 7
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Beautiful Jisei tanka. Jisei is a death poem.
Are you a veteran? If you are, thank you for your service and sacrifice.
Beautiful presentation too.
I can't even imagine how scary and disturbing war is and many veterans don't get what they deserve when they come back. It shameful.
Good syllables count and grammatically connected line 1 and 2.
On lines 3, 4, 5 would flow better if you connect them. There's nothing wrong with the way it is but it's just a suggestion. ð???
But I can't see any words you can change, each line is necessary.
..........
in the line of fire 5
common men called forth to serve 7 (dash here)
...........
veterans stand tall 5
no one ever left behind 7
a brotherhood forged in war 7
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Gosh I was really hoping you would review this. I stepped outside of my comfort zone. I appreciate the assistance, my friend.
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One way you could do it if you want to....
veterans stand tall 5
and no one is left behind 7
'couse we're brothers forged in war 7
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Thank you! I will mess with it a bit. That?s half the fun! Appreciate you always lending me a helping hand.
Douglas.
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Yes, it's 😁 fun ... it's good entry for the contest. Goodluck!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written Tanka poem you have penned. I have always counted fire as one syllable also. Very good poem my friend. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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This is a very well written Tanka poem you have penned. I have always counted fire as one syllable also. Very good poem my friend. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you, Teri! Just trying some new things.
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😊💕❤️
