Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi. This looks like a good entry to the contest. Good luck with that.! I guess it's not supposed to be exactly 80 words, right? It doesn't say so in the conscious rules

I did not find any errors and believe me. I looked for them

I just had a wicked thought. Was the gun your grandfather coming to introduce himself to you?

All kidding aside, a writer who can leave the reader with the mystery to solve always does better than the stage writer who just documents.

Well done. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-May-2024

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reply by the author on 23-May-2024

Thanks for spotting the word count. I added one word to hit 80 on the head. Also thanks for the read and review.

Comment from Nicki.B

Excellent

What an unexpected parcel. Wow it is a mystery. No explanatory note, just reference to 'Grandfather'. Its such a pity you never got to meet him and hear the stories he would have had. Although many preferred or couldn't go back to those times it haunted them so much. Must be from a relative as you suspect. A little piece of history travelling through time. Thanks for sharing your very interesting story.

 Comment Written 23-May-2024

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reply by the author on 23-May-2024

Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Appreciated.

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

If he died over twenty years ago, either the delivery was quite late or someone else thought he should have the gun. Maybe it's a warning from the Germans...Another war is coming? LOL
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 23-May-2024

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reply by the author on 23-May-2024

Thanks for the read and the review.

Comment from RodG

Good

This story illustrates how difficult it is to tell a COMPLETE story in only 80 words. You set the scene very well, but leave us wondering who sent the package. A clue should be provided.

 Comment Written 23-May-2024

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reply by the author on 23-May-2024

I will try to work it in. Thanks.