Reviews from

The Hyacinth Twin

One should never assume.

2 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This half-dialogue, The Hyacinth Twin, leaves me a bit confused though the main thrust is the unheard side of the telephone call has dialed a wrong number.
First disqualification is the set up in the first paragraph. The rules say we see nothing but dialogue. That includes "she listened" which is not dialogue.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
    This third failure in half dialogue has been deleted
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Calling the president accidentally makes for good fodder for a humorous conversation! (I hope your character offered him som free advice!)
The contest requires that there is to be no writing outside of the dialog itself, so your first paragraph shouldn't be there. Only everything that is within the quote marks.

Best of luck!
Julie

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
    oops thanks Julie