The House We Feared
The old house and the old man that scared us to death12 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I would say that old farmhouse probably has already too much history. The shutters and the creepy creaky front gate at a lot to the ambience. Also the thing that's really good is this is being told through kids perspective and experience. You have done such an excellent job describing his face and hair that it would be easy for someone who sketches to do it. This was a poignant moment: "I felt sad for the old man. "I am Donny."
He smiled; "I am George Lick."
I could see a smile on his face. Turning around, I yelled to my buddies."Get up here! Mr. Lick is giving out real size Hershey bars." This has a lovely ending.
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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I would say that old farmhouse probably has already too much history. The shutters and the creepy creaky front gate at a lot to the ambience. Also the thing that's really good is this is being told through kids perspective and experience. You have done such an excellent job describing his face and hair that it would be easy for someone who sketches to do it. This was a poignant moment: "I felt sad for the old man. "I am Donny."
He smiled; "I am George Lick."
I could see a smile on his face. Turning around, I yelled to my buddies."Get up here! Mr. Lick is giving out real size Hershey bars." This has a lovely ending.
Comment Written 16-May-2024
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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I enjoy writing and words like yours encourage me to continue. Thank you!
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Great skill for description
Comment from BunnyS
This is such a good story! It made me smile and made me tear up...what else can you ask for? :) There were a couple of punctuation issues, but they didn't take away from the story at all.
I loved the descriptions of the house and the old man. I could picture everything so clearly as I read your story. I have a huge amount of respect for those who serve, so having two military guys in your story made it a winner right off the bat. Well done!! Good luck in the contest!
Thank you for your service!!
Bunny
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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This is such a good story! It made me smile and made me tear up...what else can you ask for? :) There were a couple of punctuation issues, but they didn't take away from the story at all.
I loved the descriptions of the house and the old man. I could picture everything so clearly as I read your story. I have a huge amount of respect for those who serve, so having two military guys in your story made it a winner right off the bat. Well done!! Good luck in the contest!
Thank you for your service!!
Bunny
Comment Written 16-May-2024
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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I enjoy writing and words like yours encourage me to continue. Thank you!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice story, even if a bit predictable.
So none of the other boys were interested in making friends?
You might want to combine paragraphs 2 and 3, and then 3 and 4 for clarity.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Very nice story, even if a bit predictable.
So none of the other boys were interested in making friends?
You might want to combine paragraphs 2 and 3, and then 3 and 4 for clarity.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thanks Wayne! I appreciate your suggestions. Although fiction there was a house in our neighborhood that had all the kids scared. Lol
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You got my last star. What a lovely story. Creepy, then heartfelt. Humor, nostalgia, war, and family. All of this rolled up into one grand tale. Go to Pinterest for pictures they have everything. Spoiler Alert! You can lose time looking at happy babies. They never fail to lift my spirit. Just mention them in you author notes and they are free. Karen
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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You got my last star. What a lovely story. Creepy, then heartfelt. Humor, nostalgia, war, and family. All of this rolled up into one grand tale. Go to Pinterest for pictures they have everything. Spoiler Alert! You can lose time looking at happy babies. They never fail to lift my spirit. Just mention them in you author notes and they are free. Karen
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Why thank you on the last star!! Much appreciated. I enjoyed writing this one. We had an old house in the neighborhood that none of us tough guys got the courage to go up to tricker or treat. Yet, I grew up and became a cop??? Two of my buddies became firemen. THank God we got over the fear of that old house. Lol
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I was never afraid if anything, well except for mummies. They come out of the closet at night to get you. Other than that I was brave. :-)
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Hi Karen,
My story is up for voting. Appreciate it if you could give me a vote.
Thanks, Richard
Comment from Neonewman
Great entry for this particular writing prompt! I think most of us had a house in our neighborhood or nearby that sent goosebumps up our spine. I enjoyed the read and wish you the best in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Great entry for this particular writing prompt! I think most of us had a house in our neighborhood or nearby that sent goosebumps up our spine. I enjoyed the read and wish you the best in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 02-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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You are correct about scary houses. We had one in our neighborhood. Unlike Donny, we were to afraid to even go to the door.
Thank you for the kind words about the story.
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My pleasure.
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Hi,
My story is up for a vote. If you think it is worthy of your vote. I would appreciate it. Richard
Comment from Begin Again
Neer judge a book nor a person by the cover.... Underneath that scary facade was a man who gave his all for his country and family and was left alone until Donny came along and gave him purpose once again. Wonderful!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Neer judge a book nor a person by the cover.... Underneath that scary facade was a man who gave his all for his country and family and was left alone until Donny came along and gave him purpose once again. Wonderful!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 02-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Thank you so much for the review. It is greatly appreciated. I love your reference to book by its cover. My father raised his boys not to judge anyone until you know them.
Thanks again!
Comment from EeanBlack
I knew a guy named Paul. He had nobody and every old car you could imagine. My dad had died years ago, so I introduced him to my mom. they were friends until his death three years later. His daughter that nobody even knew about came and sold everything. She said it meant nothing to her. I never asked her their backstory.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
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I knew a guy named Paul. He had nobody and every old car you could imagine. My dad had died years ago, so I introduced him to my mom. they were friends until his death three years later. His daughter that nobody even knew about came and sold everything. She said it meant nothing to her. I never asked her their backstory.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the review and rating. What a sad story you wrote about. I wish yours had happy end like mine.
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This story is up for voting. I would appreciate your vote. Richard
Comment from prettybluebirds
This well-written and heartwarming story is a lovely tale of a lonesome old man who finds a friend for life. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This well-written and heartwarming story is a lovely tale of a lonesome old man who finds a friend for life. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Reviews like yours are what keep me writing.
Thank you.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Creepy Tale contest. I loved this story that started out creepy and went into wholesome and bittersweet. Never judge the book by it's cover or the person by their looks. Give respect and you will be amazed what you get in return. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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An excellent entry for the Creepy Tale contest. I loved this story that started out creepy and went into wholesome and bittersweet. Never judge the book by it's cover or the person by their looks. Give respect and you will be amazed what you get in return. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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It is reviews such as yours that keeps me writing. I like you referring to not judge a book by it's cover. My father taught us that lesson growing up. I lived by it my whole life.
Thank you again for taking the time to read my story.
Comment from zanya
A story that grips the reader as it moves along with the protagonist overcoming his childhood fear of the scary house to grow up and embrace adulthood- evoking nostalgia and embroidered with effective language and imagery - what an enjoyable read
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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A story that grips the reader as it moves along with the protagonist overcoming his childhood fear of the scary house to grow up and embrace adulthood- evoking nostalgia and embroidered with effective language and imagery - what an enjoyable read
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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First, I want to thank you for the generous six-star rating. Most writers live for such a rating. I do as well. However just as important to me are the reviews of people such as yourself. If someone enjoys the story or finds a meaning. That means the world to me. A story I wrote recently about the fear of death. Helped two readers get through issues they were dealing with.
As a writer I know that would bring you a feeling of joy. If only one person finds something in your writing you have done something special.
Sorry about the long reply. Once again thank you.
Richard
