Please Accept My Apology
2nd Place Finish8 total reviews
Comment from gansach
A heartbreaking kind of rant that makes me so sad to read. No one should have to feel this way. It is a beautiful poem in its expression, makes the reader feel deeply, the rhyme scheme is good and it flows easily. Nice effort.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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A heartbreaking kind of rant that makes me so sad to read. No one should have to feel this way. It is a beautiful poem in its expression, makes the reader feel deeply, the rhyme scheme is good and it flows easily. Nice effort.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you. My dad was a tough pill to swallow. Most of the others went for humor. Maybe I took it too serious.
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Not at all, you certainly have the right to express your feelings and what better way than through your writing. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes!
Comment from GoWiSt
Wow! Powerful words and imagery in this rant.
"We do not all celebrate Fathers Day." Is the speaker speaking on behalf of him/herself and others?
Good couplet rhymes.
"Your love learned through an angry fist" Good sharp imagery of physical child abuse from the hands of a father.
"Was I something you may have missed, while defiling the crown of dad?" I read that in two ways and wonder which one you intended.
Very good poetic rant. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Wow! Powerful words and imagery in this rant.
"We do not all celebrate Fathers Day." Is the speaker speaking on behalf of him/herself and others?
Good couplet rhymes.
"Your love learned through an angry fist" Good sharp imagery of physical child abuse from the hands of a father.
"Was I something you may have missed, while defiling the crown of dad?" I read that in two ways and wonder which one you intended.
Very good poetic rant. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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I was speaking about my father. The crown line, which I love, was me wondering if in the quiet self-reflective moments, my dad ever thinks about his abandoned children.
This was one of those times that the actual opportunity to rant was more important than the actual contest.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
Comment from Mark Jackson
The picture goes well with the words this has a feeling of sadness and anger. These words feel true, this could be the definition of passive-aggressive. It feels like a mixture of childhood emotions mixed with adult emotions. It simmers like a coffee left on the stove for too long! Great writing good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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The picture goes well with the words this has a feeling of sadness and anger. These words feel true, this could be the definition of passive-aggressive. It feels like a mixture of childhood emotions mixed with adult emotions. It simmers like a coffee left on the stove for too long! Great writing good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Mark. I think that I am the only one who didn't go humorous, which is odd for me. We shall see how it plays out!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I am sorry that you have felt like this about yourself and parents are less than perfect and we can be left with feelings of resentment and regret. Many will identify with your words here. It is great that you are trying out a longer poem, if this is meant to be in metre then which metre is it? I would try iambic metre which is the stress on the second syllable and once you have mastered that you can try others. Good luck, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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I am sorry that you have felt like this about yourself and parents are less than perfect and we can be left with feelings of resentment and regret. Many will identify with your words here. It is great that you are trying out a longer poem, if this is meant to be in metre then which metre is it? I would try iambic metre which is the stress on the second syllable and once you have mastered that you can try others. Good luck, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I think that I am the only one who didn't go humorous, which is odd for me. We shall see how it plays out! I wanted a one-two beat seams like I still need to do some work.
Comment from FurryBunny
The poem effectively uses repetition and vivid imagery to convey the speaker's deep emotions of shame and rejection, showcasing the poet's skill in evoking raw emotions concisely.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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The poem effectively uses repetition and vivid imagery to convey the speaker's deep emotions of shame and rejection, showcasing the poet's skill in evoking raw emotions concisely.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Bunny. I used the contest to blow out some emotions. We will see how it plays out.
Comment from Julie Helms
Oh my gosh, I just want to scoop you up and hug you, tell you none of this is your blame to bear. I'm sure you know that intellectually, but things often don't travel well between our brains and hearts.
Anyway, you clearly wrote an extremely effective poem for emotional impact. The internal rhymes add a good rhythm to the piece. Made me think of a 1-2 heartbeat for each line.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Julie
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Oh my gosh, I just want to scoop you up and hug you, tell you none of this is your blame to bear. I'm sure you know that intellectually, but things often don't travel well between our brains and hearts.
Anyway, you clearly wrote an extremely effective poem for emotional impact. The internal rhymes add a good rhythm to the piece. Made me think of a 1-2 heartbeat for each line.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Julie
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I think that I am the only one who didn't go humorous, and I will take that hug!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very sad poetic rant you have penned for the contest. So many in this world have those same feelings it seems. You used great descriptive words and a very nice picture to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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This is a very sad poetic rant you have penned for the contest. So many in this world have those same feelings it seems. You used great descriptive words and a very nice picture to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I think that I am the only one who didn't go humorous, which is odd for me. We shall see how it plays out!
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You are so welcome!
Comment from jessizero
I admire your internal and ending rhymes. This was an excellent rant, and it made me sad. That's actually a good thing, because it means you wrote this well enough to give the reader a strong response. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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I admire your internal and ending rhymes. This was an excellent rant, and it made me sad. That's actually a good thing, because it means you wrote this well enough to give the reader a strong response. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I think that I am the only one who didn't go humorous, which is odd for me. We shall see how it plays out!
