The Fix
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Fix - Chapter Nine"A mother fights to prove her son's innocence
11 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter underscores Stacey's state of mind. It is like a slice of life. I suspect that Stacey will also check phone messages and email messages next. Here is a clue (I believe) to what may have actually happened: It strikes me how much she looks like her sister. They have the same long nose and although Susannah's hair is a lighter shade of brown than her sister's, it's still around the same length...
I would put a comma after 'nose' in the sentence above as well.
I wonder if Zoe was going out with someone who was on the edge, or if he will ever be interviewed. The newspaper article ought to mention if she were the older or younger sister.
Good read so far! Also, don't forget that if someone comes home from the hospital, they may have to consider when to re-apply makeup if it smeared. I know it says Stacey wiped her eyes, but that seems to have been due to crying.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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This chapter underscores Stacey's state of mind. It is like a slice of life. I suspect that Stacey will also check phone messages and email messages next. Here is a clue (I believe) to what may have actually happened: It strikes me how much she looks like her sister. They have the same long nose and although Susannah's hair is a lighter shade of brown than her sister's, it's still around the same length...
I would put a comma after 'nose' in the sentence above as well.
I wonder if Zoe was going out with someone who was on the edge, or if he will ever be interviewed. The newspaper article ought to mention if she were the older or younger sister.
Good read so far! Also, don't forget that if someone comes home from the hospital, they may have to consider when to re-apply makeup if it smeared. I know it says Stacey wiped her eyes, but that seems to have been due to crying.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That's got to be hard, knowing your daughter doesn't believe her brother is innocent. Everyone is against him except Lucie. Now she has to get started on proving her son is innocent and then she will be able to laugh in all their faces. I do hope this happens. Well done again, my friend. Another fabulous, believeable chapter. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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That's got to be hard, knowing your daughter doesn't believe her brother is innocent. Everyone is against him except Lucie. Now she has to get started on proving her son is innocent and then she will be able to laugh in all their faces. I do hope this happens. Well done again, my friend. Another fabulous, believeable chapter. :) Sandra
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you Sandra, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Just an observation, you use "I" 4 times in the first paragraph. A thought: My alarm clock glows 7:05 a.m. as I rub the back of my neck and shift myself upright. That would eliminate 2 of them.
Good dialogue between mother and daughter contrasted with the pain of Susannah's mother and sister.
You've given us a chapter that ventures into the internal feelings and dialogue, and now I'm wondering if Joshua is guilty! If the sister's description of him is correct, why did he act that way? And mothers will always believe the best about their children.
Thanks for sharing this excellent chapter.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Just an observation, you use "I" 4 times in the first paragraph. A thought: My alarm clock glows 7:05 a.m. as I rub the back of my neck and shift myself upright. That would eliminate 2 of them.
Good dialogue between mother and daughter contrasted with the pain of Susannah's mother and sister.
You've given us a chapter that ventures into the internal feelings and dialogue, and now I'm wondering if Joshua is guilty! If the sister's description of him is correct, why did he act that way? And mothers will always believe the best about their children.
Thanks for sharing this excellent chapter.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you Pam, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It would be hard for any Mother who believes her son is innocent to move on with her life, I understand this as I would fight for my children too. Another fine chapter in your story Jacob, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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It would be hard for any Mother who believes her son is innocent to move on with her life, I understand this as I would fight for my children too. Another fine chapter in your story Jacob, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you Dolly, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Daylily
It is a hard thing to know a family member is not believing in you. This story is like true life and I can feel Staceys frustration. It is another very good chapter, Jacob.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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It is a hard thing to know a family member is not believing in you. This story is like true life and I can feel Staceys frustration. It is another very good chapter, Jacob.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from tfawcus
The specific and everyday details you put into this chapter help us not only to understand Stacey's state of mind but also the dynamics of her relationship with her daughter, Rachel. I thought it was a good chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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The specific and everyday details you put into this chapter help us not only to understand Stacey's state of mind but also the dynamics of her relationship with her daughter, Rachel. I thought it was a good chapter.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you Tony, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Rachel is a good daughter for her mother right ow but all her attentiveness isn't going to make any difference because Stacey has a mother's instinct and is determined to seek justice. I'm surprised, though, that Rachel is so comfortable with the verdict (should I be suspicious?). Your excellent story reads well and has no errors found. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend! Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Rachel is a good daughter for her mother right ow but all her attentiveness isn't going to make any difference because Stacey has a mother's instinct and is determined to seek justice. I'm surprised, though, that Rachel is so comfortable with the verdict (should I be suspicious?). Your excellent story reads well and has no errors found. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend! Debbie
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you Debbie, I?m really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
This is good. Most mums would believe that son wouldn't be capable of killing anyone. I'm glad that someone ont he jury believes he is innocent as well. I hope she is able to prove it. You are post as often as you did on your last story but at least you are back.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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This is good. Most mums would believe that son wouldn't be capable of killing anyone. I'm glad that someone ont he jury believes he is innocent as well. I hope she is able to prove it. You are post as often as you did on your last story but at least you are back.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you Beth, it?s been difficult finding time to post recently as I have been concentrating on editing my last book, but I am nearly done with edits so hopefully I should be posting more frequently.
Comment from royowen
I can see what's ailing our main first person character, I don't know there are too many parents believe the child they raise are truly guilty, but it's fun reading about. There was several stabbings of shoppers in a large shop complex before he was shot and killed by a police officer, the parents were devastated when they saw, they didn't think the boy they raised was capable of that. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : That's good. Right(,) let's see...
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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I can see what's ailing our main first person character, I don't know there are too many parents believe the child they raise are truly guilty, but it's fun reading about. There was several stabbings of shoppers in a large shop complex before he was shot and killed by a police officer, the parents were devastated when they saw, they didn't think the boy they raised was capable of that. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : That's good. Right(,) let's see...
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you Roy, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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Well done
Comment from FurryBunny
This chapter explores Stacey's emotional turmoil after her son's conviction, highlighting her struggles to cope and the strained relationship with her daughter, Rachel. The character development is strong, and the tension within the family dynamics is well-portrayed. More dialogue between Stacey and Rachel could enhance the story, and further exploration of Stacey's thoughts on Joshua's innocence would add depth. Overall, the chapter maintains the readers interest and sets the stage for future developments.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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This chapter explores Stacey's emotional turmoil after her son's conviction, highlighting her struggles to cope and the strained relationship with her daughter, Rachel. The character development is strong, and the tension within the family dynamics is well-portrayed. More dialogue between Stacey and Rachel could enhance the story, and further exploration of Stacey's thoughts on Joshua's innocence would add depth. Overall, the chapter maintains the readers interest and sets the stage for future developments.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
