Comment from Wojciech Gurak

Excellent

I like this poem. The message is simple, yet profound. It's true. By paying attention, one can find out what the child is thinking / dreaming about. Love the drawing.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024

Thanks much for taking the time to read and provide feedback.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Love the written message as well as the chosen artwork... Perhaps expand upon the 'creating' and 'drawing' line of thought and eliminate the 'in their hands' to provide more depth to your vision here...? Good luck in the contest!! ;)

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024

Thanks for your help. I have edited the poem. See the following:

Using their artistry
Children show their world
Creating crayon drawings
Revealing their dreams

reply by Y. M. Roger on 17-Apr-2024

Yes!! this flows well and never loses its grip on the reader to confer both thought and vision... the use of multiple 'ing' endings are wonderfully placed, so as not to be repetitive but instead to reinforce your soft yet important message. Thank you!

Comment from RodG

Excellent

The other day I visited our local library and saw how grade schoolers did create their "worlds" on paper with crayons.
I like the subtle use of alliteration in your Naani. Rod

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024

Thank you, sir, always appreciate your feedback.

Comment from Marilyn Hamilton

Excellent

An excellent entry for the Naani Poem writing prompt. Nice message clearly stated within the limited syllable format. The art works well with the poems presentation (don't forget to credit the artist). I also like the font and text color used. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024

Thanks for the read and the input. Don't think there was an artist named, however I will check and add if found.