Ma (with thanks to Grace Paley)
An imagined encounter with my dying mother.4 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
An emotional write, infused with the sadness of your loss, as well as the feeling that the moment did NOT take place, so perhaps she passed without you ever getting to say a real goodbye.
I wrote a poem about a similar moment with my own mother shortly before she died thirteen years ago. It's called Elephant in the Room:
Bloody thing just sat there,
swinging his pendulous trunk,
and with this silly look on his face
as if to say,
"Don't mind me. Discuss my greyness if you wish."
A bit awkward really.
I slopped your tea in its saucer
as I side-stepped his massive haunches
and had to go back for another chocolate biscuit.
"Got those on special at Woolworths,"
you said.
"Not bad."
We each took sidelong glances at him
when we thought the other wasn't watching.
I think I saw his ears twitch once,
when we talked about the weather
and how the cyclones in Queensland
had impacted upon the price of bananas.
Or was it when you mentioned your appointment tomorrow?
Should I have shooed him away, Mum?
You've never been dying before.
Steve
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
  |
An emotional write, infused with the sadness of your loss, as well as the feeling that the moment did NOT take place, so perhaps she passed without you ever getting to say a real goodbye.
I wrote a poem about a similar moment with my own mother shortly before she died thirteen years ago. It's called Elephant in the Room:
Bloody thing just sat there,
swinging his pendulous trunk,
and with this silly look on his face
as if to say,
"Don't mind me. Discuss my greyness if you wish."
A bit awkward really.
I slopped your tea in its saucer
as I side-stepped his massive haunches
and had to go back for another chocolate biscuit.
"Got those on special at Woolworths,"
you said.
"Not bad."
We each took sidelong glances at him
when we thought the other wasn't watching.
I think I saw his ears twitch once,
when we talked about the weather
and how the cyclones in Queensland
had impacted upon the price of bananas.
Or was it when you mentioned your appointment tomorrow?
Should I have shooed him away, Mum?
You've never been dying before.
Steve
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
-
Thank you! And I love your piece too!
-
Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These are sad words that many will be able to identify with as we have all lost someone close who has missed out on all these events. A sensitive post Rachelle, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
|
These are sad words that many will be able to identify with as we have all lost someone close who has missed out on all these events. A sensitive post Rachelle, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
-
Thank you!
Comment from jessizero
That last sentence isn't a complete sentence. Maybe you could change the period after "season" to a comma and make "as" lowercase to combine the sentences? It's completely up to you, of course. I do like that last line, though. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
|
That last sentence isn't a complete sentence. Maybe you could change the period after "season" to a comma and make "as" lowercase to combine the sentences? It's completely up to you, of course. I do like that last line, though. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
-
Thank you!
Comment from royowen
A lovely bitter sweet story, I enjoyed it immensely, it was sweetest story, a mother and her child, I believe that whether it's here on the earth, or place beyond, beautiful written blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
|
A lovely bitter sweet story, I enjoyed it immensely, it was sweetest story, a mother and her child, I believe that whether it's here on the earth, or place beyond, beautiful written blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
-
Thank you!
-
A pleasure
