Changed Man?
I Am A Changed Man.29 total reviews
Comment from Jessica Wheeler
I had the pleasure of reading your story this morning, Douglas, and wow! It was such an exceptionally clever write! Your portrayal of the character's transformation was brilliant, and the twist at the end was killer. Pun intended.
This gave me a good, hard, embarrassingly loud laugh:
"Being Father William Braydon certainly comes with its mundane moments."
Wonderful!
Xo
Jess
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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I had the pleasure of reading your story this morning, Douglas, and wow! It was such an exceptionally clever write! Your portrayal of the character's transformation was brilliant, and the twist at the end was killer. Pun intended.
This gave me a good, hard, embarrassingly loud laugh:
"Being Father William Braydon certainly comes with its mundane moments."
Wonderful!
Xo
Jess
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Jessica! I appreciate the awesome review.
Comment from estory
I thought as thriller mystery writing, this was pretty well imagined and executed. I like how you tell this story from within, in the first person. We get this eerie closeness to psychosis, to murder and serial killing, abuse of women. The thin wall in between controlling yourself and losing control is broken through here. And then you have that horrifying twist at the end when we discover the serial killer is a priest. There is this sense that evil can be found anywhere, and that it can disguise itself well. Nice job. estory
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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I thought as thriller mystery writing, this was pretty well imagined and executed. I like how you tell this story from within, in the first person. We get this eerie closeness to psychosis, to murder and serial killing, abuse of women. The thin wall in between controlling yourself and losing control is broken through here. And then you have that horrifying twist at the end when we discover the serial killer is a priest. There is this sense that evil can be found anywhere, and that it can disguise itself well. Nice job. estory
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you E! Everything you said were the marks I was trying to hit with this story! Appreciate you.
D
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wow, this is outstanding writing, and you've almost convinced me that you know this person well. LOL. Congratulations on your much deserved blue ribbon and contest winner. I just wish I had a six to reward you properly. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Wow, this is outstanding writing, and you've almost convinced me that you know this person well. LOL. Congratulations on your much deserved blue ribbon and contest winner. I just wish I had a six to reward you properly. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Ric, this was a fun one!
Comment from GoWiSt
"when she made fun of my small penis, I strangled her" Well, it's only natural. LOL
"Sharon getting angry because I couldn't get it up." Bitch. She deserved it. LOL
"I'm just not the kind of man who would do well in prison." Why? The free food and board too good for ya? LOL
"choke the life out of them, after the sex of course. " Hey, priorities, priorities--proper perspective. LOL
Serial killer turne priest? It was ordained. LOL
Thanks for my day's dose of chuckles. It was a very good read. :-))
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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"when she made fun of my small penis, I strangled her" Well, it's only natural. LOL
"Sharon getting angry because I couldn't get it up." Bitch. She deserved it. LOL
"I'm just not the kind of man who would do well in prison." Why? The free food and board too good for ya? LOL
"choke the life out of them, after the sex of course. " Hey, priorities, priorities--proper perspective. LOL
Serial killer turne priest? It was ordained. LOL
Thanks for my day's dose of chuckles. It was a very good read. :-))
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thanks! I was messing around with first person. I think it turned out well.
D
Comment from Jesse James Doty
The clarity and conversational tone of this piece are remarkable and poignant as it shows the inner feelings of a murderous man who has a small penis and can't handle being teased about it.
I can see why this won a contest. It shares the depth of a sense of privilege with women who otherwise, would not know how to deal with sociopaths like this changed man.
Jesse
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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The clarity and conversational tone of this piece are remarkable and poignant as it shows the inner feelings of a murderous man who has a small penis and can't handle being teased about it.
I can see why this won a contest. It shares the depth of a sense of privilege with women who otherwise, would not know how to deal with sociopaths like this changed man.
Jesse
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Jesse! This turned out really good. I was messing around with writing in the fist person. I think it turned out really well.
D
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Yes, I agree.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
WHAT!!!!!? Great story! Why haven't i seen this before? Conratulations on the number 1 win. Not sure how long ago that happened though. Loved the story and especially the ending! thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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WHAT!!!!!? Great story! Why haven't i seen this before? Conratulations on the number 1 win. Not sure how long ago that happened though. Loved the story and especially the ending! thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Thanks. Won that one yesterday! Great ending!
Appreciate the review.
I heard rumors you went to the hospital. Hope you are okay?
D
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Yes. Had 3 small strokes at home and legs stopped working. Back home now. Need carotid artery surgery soon
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Oh my goodness. Hope you don?t mind if I put you on our prayer list at church. Someone will be thinking about you and you will be covered daily.
Stay strong!
D
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I'll take any help I can get thank you
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, dang, Douglas, you have taken this to a new level. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good fiction in a short story like this needs a good twist. You got a great twist. Never saw that coming. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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LOL, dang, Douglas, you have taken this to a new level. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good fiction in a short story like this needs a good twist. You got a great twist. Never saw that coming. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Ha! Gotcha! This turned out well. Appreciate the awesome rating!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I thought you were going to say you were doing little boys now.
An ending with a twist, or a twisted ending? Maybe a little of both.
Nicely done. Congratulations on the win, Douglas.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I thought you were going to say you were doing little boys now.
An ending with a twist, or a twisted ending? Maybe a little of both.
Nicely done. Congratulations on the win, Douglas.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Oh my goodness, Pam. That would have been next level twisted.
Comment from Thesis
You set the story up for the perfect twist at the end. It makes one wonder how far away from the truth this could be. Your story gave a lot of insight into the killer's mindset. The victim of his childhood, blaming everything on something or someone else, became the justification, allowing him to produce victims instead of being one.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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You set the story up for the perfect twist at the end. It makes one wonder how far away from the truth this could be. Your story gave a lot of insight into the killer's mindset. The victim of his childhood, blaming everything on something or someone else, became the justification, allowing him to produce victims instead of being one.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I have interviewed many felons, killers and rapists. It is always someone else?s fault. Daddy issues, mommy issues, bad marriage, full moon. They never take responsibility for their actions. Probably has something to do with a lack of empathy.
Thanks for the great review!
D
Comment from Jim Wile
Sorry, Doug. No 6s left or this would get one. Really enjoyed this one, and I can see why it won the contest. I especially loved the way you italicized the important parts in which he rationalizes his behavior, always blaming someone or something else for his proclivities.
Yes, he found a good substitute to give him the power he craves. What a unique villain you've crafted in this brutal and humorous tale. Great job. - Jim
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Sorry, Doug. No 6s left or this would get one. Really enjoyed this one, and I can see why it won the contest. I especially loved the way you italicized the important parts in which he rationalizes his behavior, always blaming someone or something else for his proclivities.
Yes, he found a good substitute to give him the power he craves. What a unique villain you've crafted in this brutal and humorous tale. Great job. - Jim
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I tried it in first person which is uncommon. I wasn?t sure how that would carry. Went well except for a few people asking me if I was a serial killer. Ha! Some suggested to switch the last two paragraphs. I struggled with that as I am placing it in the Fiction Factory Flash Contest. I decided to keep it how it is.
Thanks for the awesome review, Jim!
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Good decision. This way is better.