Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Samir saves the day"Nefarious Deeds
17 total reviews
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Do you know something the rest of us don't? you knew way too many details to be making that stuff up! I just pray that if the Earth explodes, I go with it. I am not up to starting over on Mars and snakes are most definitely not a food source I would consider. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Do you know something the rest of us don't? you knew way too many details to be making that stuff up! I just pray that if the Earth explodes, I go with it. I am not up to starting over on Mars and snakes are most definitely not a food source I would consider. Nicely done.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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I have watched a lot of science fiction, and read it to. Plus I read a lot. Three books a week. Just got through a bunch Of Karen Slaughter. Now I am onto Lee Childs. Thank so much. Karen
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed your perfect 6 science fiction post. It sounds like a solution for Washington when they have trouble agreeing. if they can't agree
just put them in a place where they can breath until they agreee. Good luck in the contest. This seems error free.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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I enjoyed your perfect 6 science fiction post. It sounds like a solution for Washington when they have trouble agreeing. if they can't agree
just put them in a place where they can breath until they agreee. Good luck in the contest. This seems error free.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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I appreciate the read and nice comments. No matter where people go, they are still the same people. :-) Karen
Comment from Ric Myworld
I've have to buy a monorail to keep up with your mind. Up and over down and through, speeding along in out-of-control hyper warp speed. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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I've have to buy a monorail to keep up with your mind. Up and over down and through, speeding along in out-of-control hyper warp speed. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the read and your kind thoughts. Karen
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a powerful compare and contrast between Mars and our planet with metaphors used to deliver the goods to the ship and help the teams from fighting each other and creating a civil war.
The is well-written and speaks softly about the benefits and drawbacks of becoming a team player. I love the picture by the way.
Jesse
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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This is a powerful compare and contrast between Mars and our planet with metaphors used to deliver the goods to the ship and help the teams from fighting each other and creating a civil war.
The is well-written and speaks softly about the benefits and drawbacks of becoming a team player. I love the picture by the way.
Jesse
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the read and nice comments. How are you doing these days. Karen
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David's dementia is getting worse. I am, to say the very least, concerned.
I hope his son can shed some light on the subject when he finds out.
No, he hasn't told his son yet.
Why is a good question?
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I asked how you were doing and you sent me this. David's dementia is getting worse. I am, to say the very least, concerned.
I hope his son can shed some light on the subject when he finds out.
No, he hasn't told his son yet.
Why is a good question?
What does any of that mean I am confused. Karen
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Please read my last post. That will answer all the questions you have.
Jesse
Comment from Elise H
Hi Karen, thanks for sharing your story with us. I liked the world building of this community and clear moral thread throughout the story.
One thing that I think would improve this story is bringing the reader closer to the protagonist and the action of the story. What I mean is that a lot of this story read a little distant and as a summary of the events. I wonder if honing in on a clear central character would help bring the reader closer, especially through the use of dialogue.
I hope this feedback is useful to you. Thanks again for sharing your story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Hi Karen, thanks for sharing your story with us. I liked the world building of this community and clear moral thread throughout the story.
One thing that I think would improve this story is bringing the reader closer to the protagonist and the action of the story. What I mean is that a lot of this story read a little distant and as a summary of the events. I wonder if honing in on a clear central character would help bring the reader closer, especially through the use of dialogue.
I hope this feedback is useful to you. Thanks again for sharing your story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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I am going back in. Thanks for your statements.
I appreciate the read and the help. Karen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
The opening sentence tends to make one wonder why "Mars is quietly driving me mad"? The question then becomes why would one want to reside on Mars? (Never explained in the story).
The purposes of each of the domed areas clearly defined. Perhaps in more detail than necessary.
Who it is that believes the men are behind the accidents not clearly shown.
The sentence that begins "Also to make sure" would read better as To make sure the new ship...
This would eliminate having the redundant word "also" used twice within the same sentence.
"We here on Mars got here" would read better as We got (maybe even arrived) here on Mars...
Watch those multiple run-on sentences scattered throughout this posting.
Placing the heads of both groups on the ships really does not resolve the conflict of the story or provide a solution for obtaining the necessary water.
Kind of reminds of a Ray Bradbury story.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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The opening sentence tends to make one wonder why "Mars is quietly driving me mad"? The question then becomes why would one want to reside on Mars? (Never explained in the story).
The purposes of each of the domed areas clearly defined. Perhaps in more detail than necessary.
Who it is that believes the men are behind the accidents not clearly shown.
The sentence that begins "Also to make sure" would read better as To make sure the new ship...
This would eliminate having the redundant word "also" used twice within the same sentence.
"We here on Mars got here" would read better as We got (maybe even arrived) here on Mars...
Watch those multiple run-on sentences scattered throughout this posting.
Placing the heads of both groups on the ships really does not resolve the conflict of the story or provide a solution for obtaining the necessary water.
Kind of reminds of a Ray Bradbury story.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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I do like Ray, But I love Rod Serling. I will do back and look at editing. Thanks for the read. Karen
Comment from Jim Wile
Great story, Karen. Alas, no more 6s to give out. Most of mine seem to go on Sunday and Monday when my Inbox is jammed full. Sorry.
A very clever, well-designed story of life on Mars--how it is organized, governed, supplied, and set up to accommodate human life. And, of course, factions develop, and it's up to the inhabitants to deal with them appropriately and to not let any one group establish dominion over the others. There appears to be room for everyone there.
A very clever story that took a lot of good thinking to plan it all out and make it sound feasible. Great job! - Jim
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Great story, Karen. Alas, no more 6s to give out. Most of mine seem to go on Sunday and Monday when my Inbox is jammed full. Sorry.
A very clever, well-designed story of life on Mars--how it is organized, governed, supplied, and set up to accommodate human life. And, of course, factions develop, and it's up to the inhabitants to deal with them appropriately and to not let any one group establish dominion over the others. There appears to be room for everyone there.
A very clever story that took a lot of good thinking to plan it all out and make it sound feasible. Great job! - Jim
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much. This is as good as a six. Karen
Comment from Daylily
This is a very impressive posting and I am sorry no sixes are left. It covers several issues, one being that no matter what era it is, humans manage to find a way to argue and fight. I am glad you included a group called Harmony.
You have written a very creative piece with a lot of scientific background. I enjoyed reading it very much, but then, SciFi is one of my favorite genres and you are a stellar writer.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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This is a very impressive posting and I am sorry no sixes are left. It covers several issues, one being that no matter what era it is, humans manage to find a way to argue and fight. I am glad you included a group called Harmony.
You have written a very creative piece with a lot of scientific background. I enjoyed reading it very much, but then, SciFi is one of my favorite genres and you are a stellar writer.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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You are so sweet. I really worked on how to show it was set up well, without boring people to death.
I call this soft science fiction because I don't talk about computers and gizmos. :-) Karen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, democracy does work. I wish our government would understand that. You extremely creative and I enjoyed reading. Good luck with the contest.
We, in the middle of" Harmony", (move quotation mark closer to "Harmony")
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, democracy does work. I wish our government would understand that. You extremely creative and I enjoyed reading. Good luck with the contest.
We, in the middle of" Harmony", (move quotation mark closer to "Harmony")
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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I missed that, thank you. I will go fix. I am lucky you are my friend and will take the time to "eyeball" my story. Thanks again. Karen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Once again another epic offering that takes your imagination to brand new heights! So your perfect 6 is a life of compromise and harmony on Mars. Get rid of the leaders and let true democracy reign. I think there's probably a good outcome there but I'm beginning to think that we're all innately quarrelsome! Good luck, Karen! Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Once again another epic offering that takes your imagination to brand new heights! So your perfect 6 is a life of compromise and harmony on Mars. Get rid of the leaders and let true democracy reign. I think there's probably a good outcome there but I'm beginning to think that we're all innately quarrelsome! Good luck, Karen! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much for your completely unbiased review of my work! :-) Love ya to bits, Karen
