Temptation
Desire33 total reviews
Comment from BermyBye50
Lisa,
This is a brilliant freestyle entry in the Temptation Poetry contest. Your title of your poem Temptation speaks to the draw of desire's ability to tempt us in our daily lives give in and go astray. The essence of temptation is well reflected in your words and the story you tell with your words is creative, and telling about our inability to resist temptation's call. Well done.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
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Lisa,
This is a brilliant freestyle entry in the Temptation Poetry contest. Your title of your poem Temptation speaks to the draw of desire's ability to tempt us in our daily lives give in and go astray. The essence of temptation is well reflected in your words and the story you tell with your words is creative, and telling about our inability to resist temptation's call. Well done.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 17-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
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Hello again dearest Eugene?
I so appreciate your words?
I enjoyed writing this poem?
I won 3rd place?.
Lisa
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Temptation Poetry contest. Desire is a good choice of temptation. It's sensual and a good choice for the contest. Thank you for your notes, it's the first-time I read the rules for free flow.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
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Excellent entry for the Temptation Poetry contest. Desire is a good choice of temptation. It's sensual and a good choice for the contest. Thank you for your notes, it's the first-time I read the rules for free flow.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
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Thank you dearestGypsy,
I am so happy that you felt my entry was excellent. I came in third...
Lisa
Comment from Raul1
God thinks that temptation is the purest of evil and it is true it is in fact a fact. I have enjoyed reading your poem. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
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God thinks that temptation is the purest of evil and it is true it is in fact a fact. I have enjoyed reading your poem. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
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Thank you Raul for reading and reviewing my poem.
Lisasview
Comment from jim vecchio
Yes, I did enjoy it. For a moment, I was that musician, or wishing I were he. I played in some bands when younger, but no female ever reacted like that! (no male, either!!!) You are a skilled poet and hope you do very well in the contest
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Yes, I did enjoy it. For a moment, I was that musician, or wishing I were he. I played in some bands when younger, but no female ever reacted like that! (no male, either!!!) You are a skilled poet and hope you do very well in the contest
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Jim, the contest was over yesterday and I got third place. I did get first place for Fields...
Thank you,
Lisa
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Oh, yeah. I forgot. I think I congratulated you. This was a confusing morning on this site.
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When you write a lot and review a lot it is so easy to get confused...I have way too many Fans...so I find it difficult to keep up...Some write everyday...
Lisa
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I will try my best. On this site, you either write a lot of reviews or spend a lot of money, and then there are tour words, which I love to read!
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I never spend money? why would I do that?.
Lisa
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I know I can hardly get any comments unless I pay for one of my stories to get to Number One. You're already talented, so you needn't bother.
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I comment on yours no matter if it is 2 cents or more because we are writers and good friends...and that is what counts in the end...right?
Comment from teafor2
Lisasview: Your version of "Temptation" has a plethora of poetics...To name a few:
Alliterations: H's, his/hips; D's, dew/drops; S's, swaying/smoothly,
shimmering/soft, smell/sweetness; W's, without/warning, we/were;
T's, through/the; L's, lover/leapt, loud/lost...
Similes: Like a string to a red balloon; like dew drops shimmering on
soft, glimmering rose petals...
Rhymes: combinations of "internal" and/or "end"; he, see, me, free;
met, yet; trance, dance; crowd, loud; leapt, swept; beat, heat; shimmering, glimmering.
It goes without saying, others 'devices', such as enjambments, meta-phors, hyperbole and personification used in conjunction with the
aforementioned 'poetics' to create a certain drama, excitement, mys-
tery and musicality to scribe's, sensuous, but tasteful (quite successful)
contest entry. Also, the picture chosen only added more 'substance' to
the offering. If this rendition isn't true...Then, it should be! Sorry, if I've
miss-represented your originality/intentions for your 'story' in any way.
teafor2
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Lisasview: Your version of "Temptation" has a plethora of poetics...To name a few:
Alliterations: H's, his/hips; D's, dew/drops; S's, swaying/smoothly,
shimmering/soft, smell/sweetness; W's, without/warning, we/were;
T's, through/the; L's, lover/leapt, loud/lost...
Similes: Like a string to a red balloon; like dew drops shimmering on
soft, glimmering rose petals...
Rhymes: combinations of "internal" and/or "end"; he, see, me, free;
met, yet; trance, dance; crowd, loud; leapt, swept; beat, heat; shimmering, glimmering.
It goes without saying, others 'devices', such as enjambments, meta-phors, hyperbole and personification used in conjunction with the
aforementioned 'poetics' to create a certain drama, excitement, mys-
tery and musicality to scribe's, sensuous, but tasteful (quite successful)
contest entry. Also, the picture chosen only added more 'substance' to
the offering. If this rendition isn't true...Then, it should be! Sorry, if I've
miss-represented your originality/intentions for your 'story' in any way.
teafor2
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Hi there...teafor 2...
I believe this is the first time I have seen your name?
I am blown away by your amazing review! I have never had such an indepth review like yours before.
I am making a copy of this and keeping it forever....
Are you a teacher? How do you know so much about poetry?
Although I have been writing for years and years I only recently started posting. Most of my work was hand written and stuck in a drawer.... And, I had no training in writing until recently... I have several sensuous ones but I was afraid to post them because of the reaction I might get. I got quite a few great reviews but only 4 V's.... I did end up with 3rd place. The other day I got First place for another one... Not sensuous...
Your rendition is spot on...
I just can not begin to thank you enough for taking the time to read and review my work.
I am so honoured,
Lisa
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Lisa: You are welcome. All yours truly
did was hold the crayon...your story
inside 'Temptation' wrote the critique, heck, I just held on to keep it from coloring out side the lines:). I'll say more next time. teafor
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I love what you said...
Lisa
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Lisa,
This is an interesting poem about love of a musical idol from the crowd. It
seems the speaker gets closer and closer until they see each other. But the music stops when they do that. It seems the others have to suffer because of their need.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have an awesome rest of the day and week.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Hi Lisa,
This is an interesting poem about love of a musical idol from the crowd. It
seems the speaker gets closer and closer until they see each other. But the music stops when they do that. It seems the others have to suffer because of their need.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have an awesome rest of the day and week.
Joan
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Hi Joan,
Delighted you enjoyed my poem...
No suffering... ha ha
He was finished (at least in my thoughts...)
It was late...
Lisa
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I did. We all wish life would have to suffering.
Joan
Comment from Treischel
Yes you can definitely feel the pull of lusty temptation here in this free style poem. It szzzles with the heat, wonderful metaphors and similes. Like how the stanzas writhed like the dancer. Very nice.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Yes you can definitely feel the pull of lusty temptation here in this free style poem. It szzzles with the heat, wonderful metaphors and similes. Like how the stanzas writhed like the dancer. Very nice.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Good morning,
So glad you liked it. I was concerned about posting such a sensual poem on Fan Story but it turned out okay... I cam in 3rd..and I came in first for Fields...
Thank you so much for reviewing ...
Lisa
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Congratulations on your wins.
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Thank you so much... I am working on a short story now...
Lisa
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a warm and endearing, romantic and loving poem about the connection felt with another person and the sweet closeness in a magnetic union, I enjoyed this unique poem Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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This is a warm and endearing, romantic and loving poem about the connection felt with another person and the sweet closeness in a magnetic union, I enjoyed this unique poem Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much dear Dolly for your positive review. First time I posted a sensual poem on Fan Story as I was concerned with what the reaction would be. But it was good with those that reviewed. I actually came in 3rd place... I was surprised that I placed at all.....
Love, Lisa xxx
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Well done on your placing Lisa, love Dolly x x x
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Thank you Dolly... Sad thing is only 4-V's
Not many after getting so many fabulous reviews,
Lisa
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We can't win them all Lisa, keep trying x x x
Comment from Jesse James Doty
And you lived happily ever after. Well, maybe not forever but as long as it took to pick you up off the dance floor and onto his balcony where together you moved and swayed to the music of love. I love the picture and the print size was easy to read. This was enjoyable to read and daydream about.
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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And you lived happily ever after. Well, maybe not forever but as long as it took to pick you up off the dance floor and onto his balcony where together you moved and swayed to the music of love. I love the picture and the print size was easy to read. This was enjoyable to read and daydream about.
Jesse
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Well, Jessie, I am delighted you enjoyed my sensual poem... First try at posting anything like this... I was concerned about the reaction but I did end up getting 3rd place...so that is a good sign...
I am glad you day dreamed about it...
Lisa
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Hi Lisa.
I encourage you to write more sensual poetry. You have a knack for it.
Jesse
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If a contest comes up that one of those is could for I will do that.
Thank you for saying such a nice thing,
Lisa
Comment from Sally Law
Good heavens! I'm just getting over to some of these today. This passionate number burned down the FanStory house for sure, mystery poet. Chasing my husband down as soon as he comes home....
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law :))
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
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Good heavens! I'm just getting over to some of these today. This passionate number burned down the FanStory house for sure, mystery poet. Chasing my husband down as soon as he comes home....
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law :))
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
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Oh my goodness dearest Sally. I am laughing out loud? what an amazing and fabulous reaction to my poem? I am in the middle of chasing my husband down?..after all it is Valentines Day right.
Thank you sweetie for your fabulous review?
Love you 💕💕
