Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Hey Jim.
I know I read this yesterday and thought I sent over a review. Seems like I did not. I've been by working to much...

I like how you weaved in dyslexia in laymen terms so, (1) we can understand, and (2) it doesn't muddy up the story by keeping it important but light.

Good balance there amigo!

Cheers,
John

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024

Thanks, John. It will continue to be a major theme of the story as Alan begins seeing more of its effects on Tommy and begins conceiving of a means of combating its problems. This will be fraught with problems of its own, and I hope the story remains interesting throughout. I have not forgotten about what happened at the beginning, and will be coming back to it pretty soon.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

This was a great chapter and I'm glad that Alan and Ginnie could talk about being dyslexic. Ginnie would probably appreciate Alan's mentoring Tommy even more since the two have that in common. It says a lot about Alan that he's willing to give up some of his free time to attend Tommy's games. Perhaps this relationship would help him heal with the relationship he can't have with his father who is suffering from dementia.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024

Thank you so much, Helen. Alan is certainly going to need Ginnie's understanding and support later in the story as he attempts to combat the pitfalls of dyslexia.

Alan really likes this family, and he and Tommy fill a role for each other that both of them long to have as you mention in your final statement.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Jim. I really enjoyed reading this chapter. Alan has a natural rapport with Tommy, probably because they both are dyslexic, but also get on very well. So is a romance budding here? Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024

Thanks very much, Ulla. Right on all counts!

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This is really well-written and Alan's discussion with Ginnie is technical but very interesting. David's interaction with Tommy is really pleasant since both feel the need to have their dyslexia understood and must learn to control it.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024

Thank you very much, Carol. I was hoping the discussion of dyslexia wouldn't get too far into the weeds, yet I wanted to get the info across. Glad to hear it all made sense.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

This story is strong and well thought out. I am looking forward to more. I think it's time for Tina to accuse another teacher of groping her, and this time she is caught in her lies because that teacher had a tape running he was recording notes for class. Her threats and everything were on them, counting the fact that she bragged that David wouldn't play ball and look what happened to him! The principal expels Tina, Fires her Mother and offers David his job back. David says you did not research or investigate the charge. You did not back me up in any way. Why would I work for you? My thoughts. Alan can teach small classes of kids how to repair stuff and become a tutor for kids with dyslexia. So he can get his teaching in and run the shop. Use it or toss it, my brain spits this stuff out. :-) Karen

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024

That would make a great continuation of that part of the story, Karen. I've written something else that I hope will be equally enthralling and satisfying as your idea, but is quite a bit different. We'll see how you like my approach to this part of the story. You've got a good, active brain, and I'm happy to see that you've been thinking about this story!

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 12-Feb-2024

It is your story kiddo. My brain never quits. I do not go softly to sleep, I pass out. Ever since I went to work retraining my brain, it just never stops. When I feel tired, I have to
stop. If I like a story, my brain spits out more. I was in a group in the 80's where I was the group muse. But it got to where I never had time to write for myself, one thing I could never do was sci fi tech. I like to watch it, not read it. :-) Karen

reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024

I'm with you on Sci-fi. I like to watch it, but probably won't write a novel about it. But you never know.

My extent with it so far has been time-travel which characterized my previous story, but it was always to past eras in this world. I see that more as historical fiction than sci-fi.

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 12-Feb-2024

I wrote "Rules and Regulations in Planet DMK " 3 chapters, did not get very far.

reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024

What made you stop?

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 12-Feb-2024

Not enough people were reading it. It ended at a good spot. but there was plenty of more stories floating around in my head. I may try again at some point.

reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024

Good. You're a good storyteller.

Comment from Navada

Excellent

I like the revelations about Tommy, with his talents and the care he takes with his work, and the further discussions about dyslexia and the challenges presented to those who deal with it. I hope teachers are becoming better trained and more aware of the condition - I know it's something we're on the lookout for among our students.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024

Thank you, Navada. I believe many more teachers are now aware of this condition. There are also a number of aids that have been developed over the years including software programs that can verbally translate written text and special dyslexia fonts too.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I had a friend, (he's passed on now) who was severely dyslexic, he was a good tradesman with his own successful business, thanks to his wife who balanced the books, kept him to his appointments, he literally couldn't read ordinarily, but he could read the bible, I think generational curses can be broken Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024

Thanks, Roy. It's believed there may be a genetic component to dyslexia, but I'm not sure how common it is to pass that gene on or how dominant it might be.

reply by royowen on 11-Feb-2024

Well done

Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

This chapter has a great explanation of dyslexia. You're right that it takes the dyslexic child a long time to read material, and it requires that the parents work at home with the child if he is to improve. It's good for Alan to make new friends. Well done with all the dialogue. Have a great weekend. Carol

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thank you, Carol. It's a complicated disorder they don't know everything about just yet but continue to study. There have been some tools developed--not to cure it, per se--but to lessen it's effect. I hope to add one more with the invention Alan will develop later in the story.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

It's sad that teachers are in tune with what's going on with their students no matter that the disability is. Unfortunately, there are teachers who don't really care. I am really enjoying reading this story. Good job.

PS: I like the budding romance too.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thank you, Barbara. It's a good and smart teacher who is willing to make some allowances and compensations for a student with problems. First, it takes recognizing there is a problem, which we will see this English teacher is rather ignorant about.

There will be some bumps along the way in the romance.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This is another excellent chapter, Jim, in which you expand more fully on the subject of dyslexia and Ginnie is clearly an intelligent woman who's given her son's condition much thought but is impeded by her single parent status to help as much as she'd like. I wondered if it was deliberate (maybe a test for the reader:)) when you said: I was lazy and didn't (imply) myself. Clearly meaning 'apply.' As ever, this reads with enjoyment and credibility. The characters are well-rounded (especially Ginnie:)). I like the way you also use the present tense to convey thoughts - para starting: Ginnie was right about his eagerness.... This is a really great read to pick up on each time. Thanks for sharing, Jim. Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thank you so much, Debbie. This is a very thoughtful, comprehensive review, and I love to hear your reactions to things and your analysis of situations and personalities. You really seem to get this novel.

The "imply" was another example of how Tommy's dyslexia causes him to use the occasional malapropism, a common symptom of dyslexia.

Interesting remark about noticing my mixing in present tense in a story written in past tense. Some authors write the whole story in present tense, but I'm not a real fan of that and prefer the sound of past tense, mainly because it's more common, and I'm more used to the sound of it. I do, however, mix in some present tense for things that continue on past the moment.

In the sentence you mentioned: "Ginnie was right about his eagerness for older male company. He really seems to be latching on, but he?s a great kid, and I like being around him," She was right when she made the observation about Tommy's liking Alan's company. That's over and done with, but Tommy will most likely continue to latch on, will continue to be a great kid, and Alan will most likely continue to like being around him. Hence the past tense for the first part and present tense for the last few.

I do this all the time, and you may never have noticed because it sounds quite natural. I occasionally screw up and put something in past tense that really should be present tense, but that's something I try to always check for when I proof-read my stuff.

Now, not all writers do it that way and keep everything in past tense, but I've researched my approach using Google, and many do. I started doing that just naturally without really thinking about it, but when a few people began questioning me about it, I reasoned out why I do it, and it made sense to me to do it that way.