Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Panpipes - Chapter 13"A Novella
25 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Ayesha was having no part of it of him doing him downgrading himself by calling himself a beggar or could be like a beggar. Good for her. But we did not know I don't think we knew that she was a rich woman. That information just might have come to us in this moment. "You may not realise it, but I'm a rich woman. I'm going to pay for the best bionic leg on the market. You'll hardly know you're wearing it.'
Bapit can't help but show is on personality: "
If she had expected gratitude, she must have been disappointed." a great realization: "She realised she'd rushed in too soon, too fast. She hadn't taken male pride into account," she's a good role model for women: "Bapit was shocked. He would never have spoken to Chanarong like that." you've given the reader a visceral experience: "She tried hard to overcome her revulsion but felt physically sick. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she counted to five. Then she leant forward and said, 'Here, let me massage it for you.'" that is a good concept at the end. I'll be back. Slowly but surely I'm making it.
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Ayesha was having no part of it of him doing him downgrading himself by calling himself a beggar or could be like a beggar. Good for her. But we did not know I don't think we knew that she was a rich woman. That information just might have come to us in this moment. "You may not realise it, but I'm a rich woman. I'm going to pay for the best bionic leg on the market. You'll hardly know you're wearing it.'
Bapit can't help but show is on personality: "
If she had expected gratitude, she must have been disappointed." a great realization: "She realised she'd rushed in too soon, too fast. She hadn't taken male pride into account," she's a good role model for women: "Bapit was shocked. He would never have spoken to Chanarong like that." you've given the reader a visceral experience: "She tried hard to overcome her revulsion but felt physically sick. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she counted to five. Then she leant forward and said, 'Here, let me massage it for you.'" that is a good concept at the end. I'll be back. Slowly but surely I'm making it.
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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I always look forward to your reviews, Liz, for their perceptive and encouraging comments. I'm so glad you are continuing to enjoy the story! All good wishes, Tony
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Gettin' there
Comment from Jacob1395
Part of me wishes that Bapit would accept Ayesha's help that she is offering him, especially her offer to pay for a bionic man, it does seem to me that he is being a little bit too stubborn at the moment. I was angry for him when Chanin spoke to him like that. An excellent chapter Tony, I really enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Part of me wishes that Bapit would accept Ayesha's help that she is offering him, especially her offer to pay for a bionic man, it does seem to me that he is being a little bit too stubborn at the moment. I was angry for him when Chanin spoke to him like that. An excellent chapter Tony, I really enjoyed it.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I appreciate your going back to review this chapter, Jacob. Most kind.
I suspect it will take Bapit a while to come to terms with his disability.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony. You show this so very well. The Western, we know all and very direct approach as opposed to the far eastern softer, gentle and less direct approach. They both have a lot to learn from each other. Then, of course, a woman to tell a man what to do in that part of world would not be acceptable. Oh dear! Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Hi Tony. You show this so very well. The Western, we know all and very direct approach as opposed to the far eastern softer, gentle and less direct approach. They both have a lot to learn from each other. Then, of course, a woman to tell a man what to do in that part of world would not be acceptable. Oh dear! Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your review, Ulla. The cultural differences certainly make for some interesting conflicts.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is another excellent write, Tony, with not one error found. Ayesha is having her work cut out with Bapit. She wants to help him and feels responsible for his plight but she is not going about this in a way that's acceptable to him and his culture. He's very hurt both physically and emotionally. The description of cruelty to Abhamaru is just enough (without being gratuitous) to impact on the reader and enable Bapit and Ayesha to show their caring, humane attitude to animal, thus endearing them still more. Your notes are superb for that recap, sometimes needed. This is a great read, always with excellent dialogue and pace of plot. Well done, Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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This is another excellent write, Tony, with not one error found. Ayesha is having her work cut out with Bapit. She wants to help him and feels responsible for his plight but she is not going about this in a way that's acceptable to him and his culture. He's very hurt both physically and emotionally. The description of cruelty to Abhamaru is just enough (without being gratuitous) to impact on the reader and enable Bapit and Ayesha to show their caring, humane attitude to animal, thus endearing them still more. Your notes are superb for that recap, sometimes needed. This is a great read, always with excellent dialogue and pace of plot. Well done, Debbie
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much for your close reading and affirming comments, Debbie. Always appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from BethShelby
Bapit does have a lot of pride. I hope she takes his suggestion and buys the poor elephant that has to work in pain. It doesn't seem as Bapit can imagine Ayesha actually caring for him in more ways than as a friend.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Bapit does have a lot of pride. I hope she takes his suggestion and buys the poor elephant that has to work in pain. It doesn't seem as Bapit can imagine Ayesha actually caring for him in more ways than as a friend.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Beth. It seems that they both have a lot to learn! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Ayesha if blundering a bit with the Thai customs and different way of thinking especially . Maybe her new inheritance will buy her an elephant. I enjoyed this chapter Tony, lots of differents emotions, shown well.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Ayesha if blundering a bit with the Thai customs and different way of thinking especially . Maybe her new inheritance will buy her an elephant. I enjoyed this chapter Tony, lots of differents emotions, shown well.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Valda. It seems that they both have a lot to learn! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Navada
It's a shame to hear the lodge has fallen into disrepair - can we assume Chanarong has had a stroke? - but hopefully this might mean something positive for Abhamaru's future. I can't abide animal cruelty and particularly to animals as benevolent and intelligent as the elephant.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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It's a shame to hear the lodge has fallen into disrepair - can we assume Chanarong has had a stroke? - but hopefully this might mean something positive for Abhamaru's future. I can't abide animal cruelty and particularly to animals as benevolent and intelligent as the elephant.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Navada. I understand that the treatment of elephants is much improved these days in Thailand. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The writing of this post is tightly organized and concise. The standard is very high and the story line is logical with enough action to hold the reader's attention. kay
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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The writing of this post is tightly organized and concise. The standard is very high and the story line is logical with enough action to hold the reader's attention. kay
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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I appreciate your kind comments, Kay. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a skillfully written chapter, Tony. Very realistic in the dialog and the expression of emotions by the various characters. You made it very clear how proud a man Bapit was with his refusal to accept any charity from Ayesha. Though perhaps misguided, it was very real, as was Ayesha's outrage when he claims he doesn't want to be a beggar.
Ayesha can't help herself from lashing out at both Chanin and Chanarong for their mistreatment of the elephant. Bapit feels great embarrassment, especially at the admonishment to Chanarong who has treated his family well. He is the product of his country and his upbringing, and Ayesha is gradually understanding that.
I like how she muttered the insult to Bapit under her breath. It represents her true feelings and her desire not to hurt Bapit.
There were just so many wonderful aspects to this chapter. Very engaging.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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This was a skillfully written chapter, Tony. Very realistic in the dialog and the expression of emotions by the various characters. You made it very clear how proud a man Bapit was with his refusal to accept any charity from Ayesha. Though perhaps misguided, it was very real, as was Ayesha's outrage when he claims he doesn't want to be a beggar.
Ayesha can't help herself from lashing out at both Chanin and Chanarong for their mistreatment of the elephant. Bapit feels great embarrassment, especially at the admonishment to Chanarong who has treated his family well. He is the product of his country and his upbringing, and Ayesha is gradually understanding that.
I like how she muttered the insult to Bapit under her breath. It represents her true feelings and her desire not to hurt Bapit.
There were just so many wonderful aspects to this chapter. Very engaging.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your close reading of this chapter, Jim, and for your comments. Always appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Of course Bapit is proud, but I think before the end she'll rescue both him and the elephant. And if the old man has had a stroke, maybe she can hire someone to help him. Bapit maybe? If he has a job he might accept a loan from her.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Of course Bapit is proud, but I think before the end she'll rescue both him and the elephant. And if the old man has had a stroke, maybe she can hire someone to help him. Bapit maybe? If he has a job he might accept a loan from her.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Thanks for this review, Cindy. You have brought up some interesting ideas here.
