The Gentleman and His Briefcase
Spiral Out of Control26 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi John,
Really enjoyed your story, buddy! I immediately thought of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. This guy had a lot of nerve. But he must have been very handsome, irresistible. Both tellers were mesmerized. But now, Michelle had to explain what just happened. The bank robber got away cleanly. He did drop a huge clue, though. He left in a silver Maserati. How difficult would it be to find out who owned a vehicle like that in the state? And I'm sure a bank camera must have had him talking to the teller. He was slick, and very brave to return to the scene of the crime. He must have liked Michelle as much as she liked him.
If it's that easy to rob a bank, perhaps I should try it. I'm not handsome... that might be a problem. And all I have is a 2014 Chev Equinox covered in January dirt. I don't own a briefcase either... but I could use a pillow slip! Oh well, what do I have to lose? No more snow to shovel! Do guys in prison have to pay income tax?
All kidding aside, John, nice job with this story. You should keep going with it. Turn it into a novel.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Hi John,
Really enjoyed your story, buddy! I immediately thought of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. This guy had a lot of nerve. But he must have been very handsome, irresistible. Both tellers were mesmerized. But now, Michelle had to explain what just happened. The bank robber got away cleanly. He did drop a huge clue, though. He left in a silver Maserati. How difficult would it be to find out who owned a vehicle like that in the state? And I'm sure a bank camera must have had him talking to the teller. He was slick, and very brave to return to the scene of the crime. He must have liked Michelle as much as she liked him.
If it's that easy to rob a bank, perhaps I should try it. I'm not handsome... that might be a problem. And all I have is a 2014 Chev Equinox covered in January dirt. I don't own a briefcase either... but I could use a pillow slip! Oh well, what do I have to lose? No more snow to shovel! Do guys in prison have to pay income tax?
All kidding aside, John, nice job with this story. You should keep going with it. Turn it into a novel.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 15-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Kimbob.
What a great review! I thank you for all your thoughts you put into it. I don?t have enough words in my vocabulary or thoughts in my head to turn this into a novel. But that is a "novel" idea.
Thank you again, my friend!
John
Comment from BethShelby
This guy would have to know the women couldn't resist. He had to know those ladies wouldn't report him. That might be a good way for bank to test just how vulnerably their cashiers are to someone really good looking. Of course the tester might get shot.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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This guy would have to know the women couldn't resist. He had to know those ladies wouldn't report him. That might be a good way for bank to test just how vulnerably their cashiers are to someone really good looking. Of course the tester might get shot.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Beth.
I?m glad you stopped to read this little over the top fiction,
John
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Your story rather presupposes the woman is an idiot who is frightened but is enchanted with a handsome face. No matter how handsome he might be, at the end of the day she has to count out her till. She won't have anything to count or to serve customers until closing time. At least I'm not an editor. I wrote a story with as big a hole and the editor was not nice.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Your story rather presupposes the woman is an idiot who is frightened but is enchanted with a handsome face. No matter how handsome he might be, at the end of the day she has to count out her till. She won't have anything to count or to serve customers until closing time. At least I'm not an editor. I wrote a story with as big a hole and the editor was not nice.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Carol. Thank you for stopping to read and review.
John
Comment from Ben Colder
Now that is the sexiest bank robbery I have ever heard of. However, I would not doubt it. Crazy, and one wishes to be president. Good one, John. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Now that is the sexiest bank robbery I have ever heard of. However, I would not doubt it. Crazy, and one wishes to be president. Good one, John. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Ben. Always appreciate your reviews
John
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Patrick Swayze is from here you know. His momma had a dance studio here. He is sooo handsome. But I do not think I would have filled the bag without a gun forcing me. And, since he got in a maserati, It didn't look like he needed the money. And he gave her a phone number. I would give it to the police. Karen
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Patrick Swayze is from here you know. His momma had a dance studio here. He is sooo handsome. But I do not think I would have filled the bag without a gun forcing me. And, since he got in a maserati, It didn't look like he needed the money. And he gave her a phone number. I would give it to the police. Karen
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Karen. I liked your response.
John
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I take no prisoners. Unless they beg. :-)
Comment from LJbutterfly
What an imaginative story. Michelle chose the handsome man with money over keeping her job. In reality, once it was discovered all the money was gone from Michelle's drawer, she would have some explaining to do. But in storyland, Michelle gets to enjoy riding in a silver Maserati.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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What an imaginative story. Michelle chose the handsome man with money over keeping her job. In reality, once it was discovered all the money was gone from Michelle's drawer, she would have some explaining to do. But in storyland, Michelle gets to enjoy riding in a silver Maserati.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much, LJ.
Always appreciate your reviews.
John
Comment from Sugarray77
Wow, what an imagination you have. This story is mesmerizing and hypnotic LOL. I wonder how the handsome man can have such an effect on this young woman. I would love to see this expanded into a larger story with you showing how he does it.
Melissa
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Wow, what an imagination you have. This story is mesmerizing and hypnotic LOL. I wonder how the handsome man can have such an effect on this young woman. I would love to see this expanded into a larger story with you showing how he does it.
Melissa
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Melissa. A larger story, huh? I?ll keep that in mind.
John
Comment from aryr
Michelle's was in awe because of the stranger with the briefcase, John. She was in such awe that she chose to live and live well. She chose to live with the stranger. Blessings n Peace!!!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Michelle's was in awe because of the stranger with the briefcase, John. She was in such awe that she chose to live and live well. She chose to live with the stranger. Blessings n Peace!!!
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Thank you so very much for this great review.
John
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You are so welcome, John.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, as they say, "it takes all kinds." At least the teller knows her new suiter has money and a big heart, meaning he is fearless. But she must realize he's a thief who isn't very smart. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Well, as they say, "it takes all kinds." At least the teller knows her new suiter has money and a big heart, meaning he is fearless. But she must realize he's a thief who isn't very smart. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Great job!
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Ric.
I appreciate your time and review to this flash post.
John
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow, this guy must be very handsome and charismatic lol good story plot and character development. You got my fuu attention.
Well done,
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis  Â
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Wow, this guy must be very handsome and charismatic lol good story plot and character development. You got my fuu attention.
Well done,
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis  Â
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Ah, Gypsy.
Thank you so much. I appreciate your time in reading and sharing.
John
