Blue
The power of sunshine10 total reviews
Comment from Caroline M England
This is gorgeous, simple, beautiful flow and rhythm and gorgeously expressed. I wouldn't tend to give a precious 6 stars to something so short but this is so well crafted, makes me smile and I think your lovely lines will stay with me. Well done!
Best wishes
Caroline
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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This is gorgeous, simple, beautiful flow and rhythm and gorgeously expressed. I wouldn't tend to give a precious 6 stars to something so short but this is so well crafted, makes me smile and I think your lovely lines will stay with me. Well done!
Best wishes
Caroline
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I keep getting a notice that I didn't respond to your nice review. Thought I did, and told you how blue came about. I hope you know how much I appreciate your wonderful 6* review. Maybe the notice will now go away. Maybe I pushed the wrong button?
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You did indeed Jeano. It was lovely to hear the story behind it, it so enriches a poem and feels a treat to see inside the mind of the writer and where the words came from. Thanks Jeano.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Blue, has the proper formatting and provides a bit of comparison and contrast as the effects of sun are seen in both the positive and negative aspects.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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This 5-7-5, Blue, has the proper formatting and provides a bit of comparison and contrast as the effects of sun are seen in both the positive and negative aspects.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
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Thank you for reading and your comments. They are very helplful.
Comment from Mia Twysted
At first I didn't think the last line made sense. It might have been because my husband was talking to me. Then I read your notes, and I reread the piece. The shirt faded with the bright light, and the mood faded into a better feeling. I like how you associated the too things. You think of moods changing but never really think of how one moods diminishes to make room for the new one. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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At first I didn't think the last line made sense. It might have been because my husband was talking to me. Then I read your notes, and I reread the piece. The shirt faded with the bright light, and the mood faded into a better feeling. I like how you associated the too things. You think of moods changing but never really think of how one moods diminishes to make room for the new one. Nicely done.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you giving it a second chance. Sometimes we have to search for the deeper meaning. Thank you for the nice review.
Comment from Wendy G
A clever realisation about the power of sunshine to both banish the blues and fade a shirt. Yes, it certainly raises the spirits. Best wishes for your 5-7-5.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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A clever realisation about the power of sunshine to both banish the blues and fade a shirt. Yes, it certainly raises the spirits. Best wishes for your 5-7-5.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you.
Comment from Nicki Nance
This was a clever way to slip a metaphor into a 5-7-5. The color metaphor was great, and I liked the second double meaning of the sun's work. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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This was a clever way to slip a metaphor into a 5-7-5. The color metaphor was great, and I liked the second double meaning of the sun's work. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you
Comment from Douglas Goff
Well that is taking a living situation and putting it into poetry. Very true that the sun affects both forms of blue.
Simple and succinct. Well done and good luck!
D
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Well that is taking a living situation and putting it into poetry. Very true that the sun affects both forms of blue.
Simple and succinct. Well done and good luck!
D
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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I've always said about myself re writing, if it didn't happen, I can't write about it. Imagination only comes in my dreams.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I read this a couple of times and then I caught on. Sunshine does help our blues fade away just as it fades our clothes. Well written and it really makes a significant point about us as people. Let the sunshine in!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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I read this a couple of times and then I caught on. Sunshine does help our blues fade away just as it fades our clothes. Well written and it really makes a significant point about us as people. Let the sunshine in!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you. Glad you got.
Comment from Shelby Egnew
Love it! The first line "blue is a feeling" makes me think of all the different ways we can feel blue and then when you say later that the sun fades it - it makes me think of how even things that are "supposed" to make us happy sometimes don't help. Maybe you meant it to be more happy, but I felt comforted by it and was able to relate it to what depression feels like. Overall, great writing! The poem has an excellent flow and clear cut beautiful language. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Love it! The first line "blue is a feeling" makes me think of all the different ways we can feel blue and then when you say later that the sun fades it - it makes me think of how even things that are "supposed" to make us happy sometimes don't help. Maybe you meant it to be more happy, but I felt comforted by it and was able to relate it to what depression feels like. Overall, great writing! The poem has an excellent flow and clear cut beautiful language. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the nice review.
Comment from Julie Helms
The first two lines of your poem are straightforward, and then that third one just got me by surprise! I had to laugh. I like how you took one literal observation, the sun fades your shirt, and combined it with a metaphorical one, the sun fades a low mood. Very well done! And very effective. Thanks for sharing, Julie.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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The first two lines of your poem are straightforward, and then that third one just got me by surprise! I had to laugh. I like how you took one literal observation, the sun fades your shirt, and combined it with a metaphorical one, the sun fades a low mood. Very well done! And very effective. Thanks for sharing, Julie.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you. I love making people laugh or at least surprised.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-I like how you use the color blue
for your feelings and for your shirt.
-I like you concluding line showing how
how the shirt will fade if left in the sun;
but your mood will also improve if
you are in the sun, as well.
-A good entry; good luck. Welcome to FS!!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-I like how you use the color blue
for your feelings and for your shirt.
-I like you concluding line showing how
how the shirt will fade if left in the sun;
but your mood will also improve if
you are in the sun, as well.
-A good entry; good luck. Welcome to FS!!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you.
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You are welcome.
