The Swarm
What lurks in the town of Crestwood?3 total reviews
Comment from Janis M.
When I first was reading about the relaxing bathtube atmosphere, I was thinking oh I wonder if she is a murderer, and we are going to depict this scene of someone relaxing after their "work" was done. The needle stings were definitely painful to imagine. I think I would only change the last sentence. It was a little bit cheesy after such a chilling end. I would have actually just ended it with the paragraph before. No need for another concluding sentence.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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When I first was reading about the relaxing bathtube atmosphere, I was thinking oh I wonder if she is a murderer, and we are going to depict this scene of someone relaxing after their "work" was done. The needle stings were definitely painful to imagine. I think I would only change the last sentence. It was a little bit cheesy after such a chilling end. I would have actually just ended it with the paragraph before. No need for another concluding sentence.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for your suggesting.
Comment from Navada
This is a really imaginative and horrific response to the prompt! The shock of discovering that a prime source of comfort and relaxation suddenly becomes the means of someone's demise is really impactful.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2024
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This is a really imaginative and horrific response to the prompt! The shock of discovering that a prime source of comfort and relaxation suddenly becomes the means of someone's demise is really impactful.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2024
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Thanks for reading
Comment from Douglas Goff
At least she got clean. Ha!
Seriously, this is a great hrrr story.
I would watch the overuse f the word 'homes'. It was slightly distracting that it was used so much. This paragraph has it twice:
From quaint homes to sprawling estates, the air was pierced by the chilling sound of screams. Each one echoed through the streets, a haunting reminder of the unseen terror that had invaded their homes.
Maybe switch a couple out for similar words. Just my two cents.
Intense exciting thriller. Great read.
D
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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At least she got clean. Ha!
Seriously, this is a great hrrr story.
I would watch the overuse f the word 'homes'. It was slightly distracting that it was used so much. This paragraph has it twice:
From quaint homes to sprawling estates, the air was pierced by the chilling sound of screams. Each one echoed through the streets, a haunting reminder of the unseen terror that had invaded their homes.
Maybe switch a couple out for similar words. Just my two cents.
Intense exciting thriller. Great read.
D
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thanks for that
