Comment from Janis M.

Excellent

I love the technical aspects of this poem quite a bit, the meter and the rhyme. Although, I think it would do a bit better if you played with the syllable count and added one or two to some of the lines. They are a bit all over the place. I think I counted 13/10/10/9/11.

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023

After growling and grinding my teeth, I went back and adjusted the syllable count..now it is 10 syllables per line.

I changed embellishes to adorns ,
make instead of create grand projects.

I added an adjective on the 4th line
and removed one(cold) on the last.

Thank you for the constructive feedback. Next time I will remember to keep the syllable count the same from the start.

Do you like this edited version?

reply by Janis M. on 28-Dec-2023

Ohh. It is much better! Not every poem HAS to have the same syllable count. I have found the best ones with a meter usually will have some pattern either all the same OR.. like 8/7/8/7 works really well or even 8/8/8/7. (Just examples) It really depends on the meter used and the effect. I think because this poem is shorter, it does sound better now with the syllable count. Looks really good!!

reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023

Thank you for spurring me into the right direction! 🙂

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Seems like a fun hobby to get one through the winter doldrums.

I enjoyed how your ABC poem was put together explaining in detail this craft. My grands I think would be steady but my mind not creative .

Nicely penned.
John

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023

There are books with ideas.

It?s just a winter art , after a few hours your hand is stiff from keeping it steady

And it?s not very good for your eyesight.

Nevertheless I do enjoy it.

I love doing animals and flowers mainly, you can create some really lovely gifts.

Thanks for sharing!