Fun
noir-inspired28 total reviews
Comment from Daylily
This should have been marked with a violent content warning.
This kind of thing can raise bad memories in others, and it is not fair to them when they start reading and unexpectedly come across it.
noir-inspired is not clear enough.
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This should have been marked with a violent content warning.
This kind of thing can raise bad memories in others, and it is not fair to them when they start reading and unexpectedly come across it.
noir-inspired is not clear enough.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
Comment from Sandollar
I didn't think I would like this as much as I did. Your description of HIM was terrifying, even though you used few words. The reason for this mayhem He's created over a job is good writing. The only thing I did not like is the ending. I wanted more. My brain is scrambling trying to give your story a proper ending. I found no spag and it was good reading.
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I didn't think I would like this as much as I did. Your description of HIM was terrifying, even though you used few words. The reason for this mayhem He's created over a job is good writing. The only thing I did not like is the ending. I wanted more. My brain is scrambling trying to give your story a proper ending. I found no spag and it was good reading.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Jim! This is a different one for you. Inside the mind of a killer, and what drove him over the edge. Quite a cat and mouse game with the cat chalking up the mice.
Ver engaging,
Rhonda
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Hi Jim! This is a different one for you. Inside the mind of a killer, and what drove him over the edge. Quite a cat and mouse game with the cat chalking up the mice.
Ver engaging,
Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from damommy
Goodness me! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect the ending. Great suspense and tension building throughout. I was on the edge of my seat!
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Goodness me! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect the ending. Great suspense and tension building throughout. I was on the edge of my seat!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Julie Helms
Psychological thriller is a favorite of mine! I was fully enthralled to the No-relief ending!
You did some tense mixing, mostly in the beginning:
He *walked* slowly to the point that he stared, nearly touching your face.
He *turns* the gun to your head.
Thanks, I enjoyed it!
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Psychological thriller is a favorite of mine! I was fully enthralled to the No-relief ending!
You did some tense mixing, mostly in the beginning:
He *walked* slowly to the point that he stared, nearly touching your face.
He *turns* the gun to your head.
Thanks, I enjoyed it!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"Then give me them. Plenty of it!" I wonder if it should be.... "give them to me. Plenty of it!"
Excellent thriller, vicious and suspenseful. The plot is intriguing and the characters are well developed. Well done, Jim.
I read your profile, I am sorry for your loss, I know how it is.
I also read the date you joined fanstory, you are fairly new to the site. Let me know if I can help.
We share the love of movies, but my favorites are horror.
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"Then give me them. Plenty of it!" I wonder if it should be.... "give them to me. Plenty of it!"
Excellent thriller, vicious and suspenseful. The plot is intriguing and the characters are well developed. Well done, Jim.
I read your profile, I am sorry for your loss, I know how it is.
I also read the date you joined fanstory, you are fairly new to the site. Let me know if I can help.
We share the love of movies, but my favorites are horror.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Wendy G
My goodness. I was not expecting that when I started, but I kept reading to see if they could come through this somehow. Horrific and evil man with no conscience, and his payback is extreme, but some people, once they start on a course of revenge, they can't stop. It was well-written, and very confronting with the "you" addressing the reader.
Wendy
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My goodness. I was not expecting that when I started, but I kept reading to see if they could come through this somehow. Horrific and evil man with no conscience, and his payback is extreme, but some people, once they start on a course of revenge, they can't stop. It was well-written, and very confronting with the "you" addressing the reader.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Holy smoke's Batman. You got all kinds of cool stuff going on in the story. You got body as you got to clean up Emily seems to be quite busy. It's scary stuff! This is a very innovative piece of writing I enjoyed reading grandma I find no Issues with grammar punctuation sentence structure or subject matter it's a very macabre read which I am really enjoyed thank you for this! It's a great entry. I hope you have a great evening an the wonderful holiday season too!
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Holy smoke's Batman. You got all kinds of cool stuff going on in the story. You got body as you got to clean up Emily seems to be quite busy. It's scary stuff! This is a very innovative piece of writing I enjoyed reading grandma I find no Issues with grammar punctuation sentence structure or subject matter it's a very macabre read which I am really enjoyed thank you for this! It's a great entry. I hope you have a great evening an the wonderful holiday season too!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Douglas Goff
Goodness this is an intense roller coaster ride. I feel like I just got off the Corkscrew!
Great writing.
He stops in mid motion. (Possible hyphen here)
You are a man of many talents as it would seem you can cover many genres, Jim!
Great read!
D
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Goodness this is an intense roller coaster ride. I feel like I just got off the Corkscrew!
Great writing.
He stops in mid motion. (Possible hyphen here)
You are a man of many talents as it would seem you can cover many genres, Jim!
Great read!
D
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
First of all, you really need to put a "violence" warning on this, as it's pretty graphic and unyielding. Although suspenseful and well written, I thought it was a little over the top, but that's me. Some here will eat it up, I'm sure.
That closet is getting pretty full.
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First of all, you really need to put a "violence" warning on this, as it's pretty graphic and unyielding. Although suspenseful and well written, I thought it was a little over the top, but that's me. Some here will eat it up, I'm sure.
That closet is getting pretty full.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023