At Twilight's Blush
Where love's sweet whispers play16 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a good sonnet. Although a few lines are out of metre, the theme and emotions well fit into the required motif.
Much enjoyed, and I hope you keep writing sonnets.
Thank you for sharing. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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This is a good sonnet. Although a few lines are out of metre, the theme and emotions well fit into the required motif.
Much enjoyed, and I hope you keep writing sonnets.
Thank you for sharing. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Gloria,
Thank you for your review. Over the past year I have improved my accuracy with respect to metre. Any suggestions in correcting the metre in this entry with be helpful.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment from Lea Tonin1
I think you're right. Some of the most beautiful poems and sonnets about love that are out there! A woman would be so blessed till he romanced In such a way, wonderful job and a great submi. See no wishes with grammar sentence Structure subject matter or aesthetics a fine entry I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a great new year's too
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I think you're right. Some of the most beautiful poems and sonnets about love that are out there! A woman would be so blessed till he romanced In such a way, wonderful job and a great submi. See no wishes with grammar sentence Structure subject matter or aesthetics a fine entry I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a great new year's too
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
Comment from Aiona
What a sweet sonnet. It's very romantic. It contains the required 14 lines. The rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg is met. Some of the lines lack iambic pentameter, but that's easily fixed.
Here's some examples:
1. "Tender verses echo each lover's name."
Could be changed to "Their tender cries of one another's names."
2. "Each touch, a brushstroke on passion's canvas."
Could be changed to "Each touch at last a willing canvas found
3. "Their spirits dance, their ardor boundless."
Could be changed to "Their spirits dance, their ardor knows no bound."
4. "Like timeless echoes in every glance."
Could be changed to "Like timeless echoes in a single glance"
5. "A new love story of tender romance."
Could be changed to "Will tell a tender tale of new romance."
But... that's just my dreaming up iambic pentameter. I'm sure you can think of better replacements!
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What a sweet sonnet. It's very romantic. It contains the required 14 lines. The rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg is met. Some of the lines lack iambic pentameter, but that's easily fixed.
Here's some examples:
1. "Tender verses echo each lover's name."
Could be changed to "Their tender cries of one another's names."
2. "Each touch, a brushstroke on passion's canvas."
Could be changed to "Each touch at last a willing canvas found
3. "Their spirits dance, their ardor boundless."
Could be changed to "Their spirits dance, their ardor knows no bound."
4. "Like timeless echoes in every glance."
Could be changed to "Like timeless echoes in a single glance"
5. "A new love story of tender romance."
Could be changed to "Will tell a tender tale of new romance."
But... that's just my dreaming up iambic pentameter. I'm sure you can think of better replacements!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The interactions in this poem are very much a Valentine's Day poem. Love could be this tender and caring if it's displayed with compassion and thoughts of loving and caring for one another.
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The interactions in this poem are very much a Valentine's Day poem. Love could be this tender and caring if it's displayed with compassion and thoughts of loving and caring for one another.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Bermy,
This fits the topic well and has the rhyme scheme of a Shakespearean sonnet. I am not sure it is iambic pentameter. I think it is supposed to be 10 syllables per line with iambs unstresed/stresse or da/DUM throughout the lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
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Hi Bermy,
This fits the topic well and has the rhyme scheme of a Shakespearean sonnet. I am not sure it is iambic pentameter. I think it is supposed to be 10 syllables per line with iambs unstresed/stresse or da/DUM throughout the lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Dear Eugene, I think that you've done a lovely job here pouring out your heart into this romance sonnet. However there are some lines that don't fit the meter/syllable count. The first stanza is perfect; but the second, third and rhyming couplet need some amendments. Contact me by PM if you need any help. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Dear Eugene, I think that you've done a lovely job here pouring out your heart into this romance sonnet. However there are some lines that don't fit the meter/syllable count. The first stanza is perfect; but the second, third and rhyming couplet need some amendments. Contact me by PM if you need any help. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Debbie,
Thank you for your review and offer to help with revising the meter/syllable count. I've revised the meter/syllable count for stanzas 2 & 3 accordingly. If the meter is still not correct I welcome any suggestions or changes.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment from Jacob1395
This was a really well written piece and you capture the beauty of two lovers getting to know each other really well with your words. I thought your writing flowed really well and I really enjoyed reading it.
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This was a really well written piece and you capture the beauty of two lovers getting to know each other really well with your words. I thought your writing flowed really well and I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
Comment from karenina
Congratulations on a very romantic sonnet...and without an image, or a PhD class in iambic pentameter...PLUS not BLIND...which is a delightful change and (editorial comment) I wish there were more of this kind of contest!
Everything from your script font to the smooth way you incorporate other forms of art (music, painting, dance...) is pleasing to the eye and more pleasing to the ear as I read it aloud!
Great job!
(I'm surprised there were not more entrants!)
Karenina
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Congratulations on a very romantic sonnet...and without an image, or a PhD class in iambic pentameter...PLUS not BLIND...which is a delightful change and (editorial comment) I wish there were more of this kind of contest!
Everything from your script font to the smooth way you incorporate other forms of art (music, painting, dance...) is pleasing to the eye and more pleasing to the ear as I read it aloud!
Great job!
(I'm surprised there were not more entrants!)
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
Comment from Lisasview
Hi there,
I think this is the very loviest poem ~ Sonnet I have read of yours thus far.
Great name and prefect font.
I wish you the very best in the upcoming contest.
Lisa
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Hi there,
I think this is the very loviest poem ~ Sonnet I have read of yours thus far.
Great name and prefect font.
I wish you the very best in the upcoming contest.
Lisa
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
Comment from Mia Twysted
What a sweet sentiment. Love new and old is a wonderful gift and with those piece you encourage your reader not only to find it but to treasure it.
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What a sweet sentiment. Love new and old is a wonderful gift and with those piece you encourage your reader not only to find it but to treasure it.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
