Comment from Barry Penfold

Excellent

A lovely poem Paul. Very well executed and rhymed nicely. I am just catching up on a few what may be called "errands". Also, thanks very much for your support during my time on the site.
Take care and enjoy the day.
Regards
Barry Penfold

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024

Thanks for the review, Barry. This is one of the few poems that I have written lately. My muse is hiding.

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

This is a stunning sonnet of always looking and moving down the road for something but not quite sure what. Then when tired of the road, and of not finding love he retraces his steps back home to find his love. So beautifully written.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023

Thanks, Mary. No luck in the contest. Always good to hear from you. Have a merry Christmas,

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

An excellent sonnet, Paul. I love the cadence and flow of the rhythm and the acute wanderlust that you wove in and out of your piece taking you directly home to your heart's desire. A lovely poem!

Melissa

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks, Melissa. Home is usually best.

Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell

Excellent

I enjoyed this very well done sonnet of your search for just the right place for yourself. I like how you wandered from place to place till you connected the dots to recognize your true love was "home."

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks, Verna. Luckily. I never went on that search. I found my true love first.

reply by Verna Cole Mitchell on 21-Dec-2023

Good for you-me, too!

Comment from Daylily

Excellent

This is a lovely poem about wandering afar only to wind up alone -- but then after returning home, found true love. This might well be the story of several people with wanderlust in their hearts, but then could only find what is really important when they reconnected with their roots of yesteryear.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks for the review. I'm sure that this has happened to many people.

Comment from Ginda Simpson

Excellent

I believe it is human nature that makes us want to pursue a dream, explore the unknown, but we are blessed when we realize that the treasure we seek is waiting for us at home. I really enjoyed this poem. Rhyming and flow made it a pleasure to read.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. I'm sure that this has happened many times.

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

Hi Paul,
I believe the contest is over and I do not know who has won yet.
Although you have put this in as a Sonnet ... it really isn't quite a Sonnet...
Yes, you have 10 syllable's per line... but what is needed is that there needs to be 3 verses, 4 lines each and a couplet at the end... As I look at it I believe you have the correct amount of lines but there is not space between the verses, not the ending couplet.
Not that I am a genius when it comes to writing Sonnets ( I have written several) I believe that one doesn't need to start each line with a capital letter..
Of course these are just my thoughts so ignore me if you want as I certainly never want to hurt any ones feeling...
So, I would say that this is truly a lovely romatic poem....
Lisasview

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thanks, Lisa. I had this in the proper form, but when I posted it, it came out as you see it.

reply by Lisasview on 21-Dec-2023

Oh I just hate that..don't you... I have had that happen so many time on Fan Story but I just keep reediting until I see it comes out correctly...
What I suppose is important is that you know the form...
Lisa

Comment from Aiona

Excellent

What a lovely sonnet. It's almost like the story of the musical "Pippin." He goes searching for glory and whatnot, and winds up going back home and marrying his sweetheart. This sonnet fits the abab cdcd efef gg rhyme scheme, and even has a volta in the 3rd stanza. The only line that doesn't have iambic pentameter is the 3rd line of the second stanza.
"That ideal life I've searched for, I can't find"
Perhaps it could be reworded?
Maybe something like
"Ideals that I've searched for, I can't find"
But I'm sure you can think of something better than I can.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thanks for the review, Aiona. "That", at the beginning of a line is usually a hard beat. That's probably what you are referring to. If you give it a soft beat to begin with, it works out okay.

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

a lovely poem about finding and searching for the right person. I usually like to write about romance but for some reason, it is difficult these days. Valentine's Day is not far away.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thanks for the review, Rosemary. I hope that romance has not given you an unpleasant experience.

reply by Rosemary Everson1 on 20-Dec-2023

My novels were romantic, but I left the bed scenes out of the chapters. Didn't want to embarrass my children.

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

This has a lovely wistful tone that weaves throughout to the find couplet with the announcement that true love is waiting there.

Fine iambic pentameter throughout and a most enjoyable read, and I most particularly enjoyed the thoughts connecting the dots.

Wishing you all the best with the voters. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thanks, Gloria. Hope you have connected the dots.