Slipsliding Away!
When you lose your footing...5 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao mystery poet, you now have 3 votes.
Ouch ! .. I have slipped on ice several times .. it hurts and it's embarrassing.
Not sure what's worse the pain or people seeing me fall like a bag of potatoes
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Ciao mystery poet, you now have 3 votes.
Ouch ! .. I have slipped on ice several times .. it hurts and it's embarrassing.
Not sure what's worse the pain or people seeing me fall like a bag of potatoes
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
Comment from angel123
Your poem flows and rhymes well and I enjoyed reading it. You followed the syllable count and your artwork choice enhances your message of slip- sliding away. Best wishes!
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Your poem flows and rhymes well and I enjoyed reading it. You followed the syllable count and your artwork choice enhances your message of slip- sliding away. Best wishes!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
Comment from rjuselius
This is a fine poem but It does not follow persisely the rules. ALL lines must rhyme and dark doesn't rhyme with shock or rock.
Fis this and i will fix your rating.
Blessings with hugs!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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This is a fine poem but It does not follow persisely the rules. ALL lines must rhyme and dark doesn't rhyme with shock or rock.
Fis this and i will fix your rating.
Blessings with hugs!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 12-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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I thought it was a close rhyme but I will see what I can do and write you back soon.
Comment from Yusita
A clever 1-6-1 that accurately depicts moments that most of us have experienced in our life and one point or another. I'm just wondering if the first line/word would need to rhyme better with the others for the contest? Either way, nice one and good luck!
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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A clever 1-6-1 that accurately depicts moments that most of us have experienced in our life and one point or another. I'm just wondering if the first line/word would need to rhyme better with the others for the contest? Either way, nice one and good luck!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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I agree AND disagree. I looked it up on Rhyme Zone. "Dark" is a 92% rhyme match. However, I am bowing to you and others and will fix it soon.
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I do agree that it rhymes to a good extent. I was just saying that I wasn't sure if it rhymes enough to meet the requirements of the contest... not sure if they're picky about that, that's all. Either way, it's a great write!
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Thank you. Don't know if you saw the edited version. I changed it to have a better rhyme scheme. These short poems are very difficult!
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I went to see it now. It?s perfect! Great edit. And yes, they are hard, so hats off to you for writing this one!
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I am indebted for your words and help.
Comment from Sally Law
Mystery poet, this is so powerful and much than a physical fall, but spiritual. The video made me dance and sing hallelujah! Thank you fir sharing. We all fall down and can overcome by getting back up. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally :))
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Mystery poet, this is so powerful and much than a physical fall, but spiritual. The video made me dance and sing hallelujah! Thank you fir sharing. We all fall down and can overcome by getting back up. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally :))
Comment Written 12-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Thank you! I have had complaints and stars awash due to my use of "dark", so I changed it around for those who want 100% rhyme. By the way, Rhyme Zone approves of "dark" as a 92% rhyme.
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Looked great to me. My very best wishes for the contest.
Sal :))
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Thank you. Don't know if you saw the edited version. I changed it to have a better rhyme scheme. These short poems are very difficult!