Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Return"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
18 total reviews
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I took some time away and now I'm here more often. It's nice to see your work. Your dialogues and descriptions are very good. The authenticity truly brings a reader in to understand your memory.
Thank you for sharing your story as it isn't easy to share personal stories I know. Have a good season.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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I took some time away and now I'm here more often. It's nice to see your work. Your dialogues and descriptions are very good. The authenticity truly brings a reader in to understand your memory.
Thank you for sharing your story as it isn't easy to share personal stories I know. Have a good season.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Hello, Alex! I was thinking about you and wondering what you were up to. Nice to see you here at your chat with you again! I appreciate your reviews and the fine things that you say most of all your time. Especially the best is that you like it! I hope that you have a wonderful holiday with you. And yours isn't that? Santa gives you everything you want and deserve.Have a good night, hope to chat with you again!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I like that you start off with a lovely nature poem before getting into the main part of your story. When you had to get used to watching out for any signs of hurt you would always be watching, waiting for the next, as you show in this, waiting for what comes next. Just one suggestion, Lea - A tuned to any sign of danger - (attuned)
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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I like that you start off with a lovely nature poem before getting into the main part of your story. When you had to get used to watching out for any signs of hurt you would always be watching, waiting for the next, as you show in this, waiting for what comes next. Just one suggestion, Lea - A tuned to any sign of danger - (attuned)
cheers
valda
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Thank you Valda! I went ahead and made that correction. Thank you so much for that! Thank you again for reading. They're hanging in there with me.I very much appreciate it! I hope that you and your family are well and that you're getting ready for the holiday season and that it's the best for you. Thank you again!
Comment from Ric Myworld
The cycles of life for some of us stay on the down cycle more than the up. But it's always nice to come across someone who refuses to succumb to the aggressors, no matter how much the cards are stacked against them. It always takes me back to an old adage, not my own, but something I've said since a teenager: "They can kill me, but they won't eat me. And if they do, I'm going to sour on their damn stomachs." Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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The cycles of life for some of us stay on the down cycle more than the up. But it's always nice to come across someone who refuses to succumb to the aggressors, no matter how much the cards are stacked against them. It always takes me back to an old adage, not my own, but something I've said since a teenager: "They can kill me, but they won't eat me. And if they do, I'm going to sour on their damn stomachs." Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Lol... Good work and excellent response! Thank you again, Rick for your comments for your time. You're great rating. I am appreciative. I'm happy to see you here. You have great insight. I'm not afraid to express it. I appreciate that. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Get everything that you deserve and need. Not your family, and you are well, thanks again!
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Happy Holidays to YOU! I've decided that rather than sit here alone and look at the walls, I'm headed to Las Vegas. :-)
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Make sure you have an amazing time t win lotsa of money, and get yourself a nice treat.
Comment from Avery Daniel
I think I've reviewed your work before. I love your style: your clever use of sentence fragments, your brilliance at usage of natural pauses within dialogue. Where I think you could improve is character development as far as descriptions of the character. I know that's a stylistic choice, but a fair bit of people like hearing what the "cast" looks like, how each individual thinks, their overall feelings. I think you could delve deeper into character development. There were also quite a few grammatical errors, which was my main reason as to why I didn't give a 5 star, because otherwise, this was a strong chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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I think I've reviewed your work before. I love your style: your clever use of sentence fragments, your brilliance at usage of natural pauses within dialogue. Where I think you could improve is character development as far as descriptions of the character. I know that's a stylistic choice, but a fair bit of people like hearing what the "cast" looks like, how each individual thinks, their overall feelings. I think you could delve deeper into character development. There were also quite a few grammatical errors, which was my main reason as to why I didn't give a 5 star, because otherwise, this was a strong chapter.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Fair enough and valid points. I invite you if you wish to read the first book. It has what it contains character development end, the motivations behind.Why people do what they do armed with information?I think is the best way to fly. It is in my portfolio, it is called ghost. It is the unedited version, and if you so choose you're welcome to read it. Thank you so much for your review and for your comments and for offering your perspective.I hope you have an awesome day and a great holiday too!
Comment from Julie Helms
Hey there!
I'm new to your story, so admittedly missing a lot of context. You do a great job of building tension and suspicion, then leaving the reader on a cliffhanger.
I have some spelling/grammar suggestions if you're interested:
the jangle of the phone * distured* the fragile peace
(disturbed)
To purposely set out and *damaged* someone, to create homelessness
(damage)
So we've gone for in depth DNA testing,
(in-depth)
The same sounds that came from my sisters mouths
(sisters')
She turned her tear filled face to me and gave me a small smile,
(tear-filled face)
*A tuned* to any sign of danger, I knew I would feel it quickly.
(Attuned)
which sounded like Mrs. D.s step.
(Mrs. D's)
I looked up at Mrs. D, she again *waived* her hand downward.
(waved)
I hope to read more as you definitely left us hanging in a tense situation!
Julie
:-)
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Hey there!
I'm new to your story, so admittedly missing a lot of context. You do a great job of building tension and suspicion, then leaving the reader on a cliffhanger.
I have some spelling/grammar suggestions if you're interested:
the jangle of the phone * distured* the fragile peace
(disturbed)
To purposely set out and *damaged* someone, to create homelessness
(damage)
So we've gone for in depth DNA testing,
(in-depth)
The same sounds that came from my sisters mouths
(sisters')
She turned her tear filled face to me and gave me a small smile,
(tear-filled face)
*A tuned* to any sign of danger, I knew I would feel it quickly.
(Attuned)
which sounded like Mrs. D.s step.
(Mrs. D's)
I looked up at Mrs. D, she again *waived* her hand downward.
(waved)
I hope to read more as you definitely left us hanging in a tense situation!
Julie
:-)
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2024
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Hi, Julie. So happy to see you here and receive your comment and your great rating and your suggestion for change. That being the most important part to me, this type of poetry is definitely new and I have things to learn, there's no doubt I find the the parameters in the lambic, and iambic and all of those things can be a bit confusing. At least for me, so your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you for your time too in answering and typing this up for me. I'm, i'm most grateful and I hope that santa comes down your chimney and gives you everything and anything you wish and deserve.Hope you have a wonderful night.Thank you again!
Comment from LJbutterfly
You are still in a battle...a war of sorts, searching and longing for peace. Mrs. D was kind to offer you refuge and shelter, but she lived in the same conditions you were trying to get away from. Fortunately you had remarkable instincts that warned you when danger was near. Your instincts have saved you many, many times. Let's see what happens next.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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You are still in a battle...a war of sorts, searching and longing for peace. Mrs. D was kind to offer you refuge and shelter, but she lived in the same conditions you were trying to get away from. Fortunately you had remarkable instincts that warned you when danger was near. Your instincts have saved you many, many times. Let's see what happens next.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your kind comments and your wonderful review I apologize for not being able to get back to you sooner I've suffered an accident and I've got serious third degree burns but I wanted to say thank you very much for your fine review and I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas and that your new year is great as well thank you again!
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I am so sorry to hear you have been in an accident and are in pain, especially during this holiday period. I pray you have a speedy, recovery and can find some measure of joy in thee new year.
Comment from EILEEN LAW
Such a tragedy - the woman with no recourse and no rights. Sometimes information is good and sometimes too much information damages. In this case she needed her rights.
Captured again!
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Such a tragedy - the woman with no recourse and no rights. Sometimes information is good and sometimes too much information damages. In this case she needed her rights.
Captured again!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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I'm glad you're reading long thank you again!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter has a definite sense of suspense going on. The overly simple apology from Mr. D was of course not going to be enough to overcome long patterns of behavior, even if it sounds sincere. I have heard people will apologize but never really change.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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This chapter has a definite sense of suspense going on. The overly simple apology from Mr. D was of course not going to be enough to overcome long patterns of behavior, even if it sounds sincere. I have heard people will apologize but never really change.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Further to my email, thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it. It's awesome!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You are SO extremely masterful at quelling us the teeniest bit around the rim while keeping us on edge. This was such an intriguing chapter because of that. If we looked in from outside that house, it would seem all fine...but because of your warning, we just can't buy in. Tremendous job yet again, Lea. This book is SO excellent. xo
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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You are SO extremely masterful at quelling us the teeniest bit around the rim while keeping us on edge. This was such an intriguing chapter because of that. If we looked in from outside that house, it would seem all fine...but because of your warning, we just can't buy in. Tremendous job yet again, Lea. This book is SO excellent. xo
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Hello my lady I hope you are well! Your reviews are always so kind and full of encouragement! just the best! I'm really glad you like this book! I hope you are feeling well and not too busy. Have a fabulous evening? I thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your awesome reviews and your fine ratings too. Haven't awesome evening!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The last sentence is daunting. I can't wait to read the next post. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Pomeranian - When I graduated from college I got a Pom, adorable little dogs. Muffin resembled Molly in the novel I'm posting right now.
Sleep could not be attained umder such conditions. (under)
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023
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The last sentence is daunting. I can't wait to read the next post. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Pomeranian - When I graduated from college I got a Pom, adorable little dogs. Muffin resembled Molly in the novel I'm posting right now.
Sleep could not be attained umder such conditions. (under)
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023
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Hi Barbara, thank you. Yes I did find that little boo boo and fixed it thank you again As your suggestions are very valuable to me and always happy to see your review. Come can only learn from the greats if one asks! Thank you again I hope you're having a great evening!