A Hero
A snail sonnet17 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
What a great sonnet for a lovely picture! I appreciate your tribute to this lowly snail. Although I don't appreciate their work in my garden, I do think your poem shows us to be wise and live quiet humble lives like the snail. Hope this does well in the contest!!
  |
What a great sonnet for a lovely picture! I appreciate your tribute to this lowly snail. Although I don't appreciate their work in my garden, I do think your poem shows us to be wise and live quiet humble lives like the snail. Hope this does well in the contest!!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2023
Comment from Navada
What a gorgeous way to celebrate renewal and repurposing. I really liked the contrast between "ventures bold" and "tempo mild and slow", reminding us that some of the greatest heroes can lean more towards Miss Marple than Indiana Jones. Your metre and form are perfect. Lovely writing!
|
What a gorgeous way to celebrate renewal and repurposing. I really liked the contrast between "ventures bold" and "tempo mild and slow", reminding us that some of the greatest heroes can lean more towards Miss Marple than Indiana Jones. Your metre and form are perfect. Lovely writing!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
Comment from Yusita
What a brilliant poem about a unique topic. Indeed, the world is full of many little heroes we don't really stop to notice. I only have one small observation, the line that says "No wealth or legacy of which to hold", maybe I'm just not understanding what you're trying to say, but I think something like "No wealth or legacy to hold" or "No wealth or legacy he had to hold" would make better sense. The word "of" is the one that's throwing things off a little for me. But maybe that's just me. Either way, a great write!
All the best,
-Yusita
|
What a brilliant poem about a unique topic. Indeed, the world is full of many little heroes we don't really stop to notice. I only have one small observation, the line that says "No wealth or legacy of which to hold", maybe I'm just not understanding what you're trying to say, but I think something like "No wealth or legacy to hold" or "No wealth or legacy he had to hold" would make better sense. The word "of" is the one that's throwing things off a little for me. But maybe that's just me. Either way, a great write!
All the best,
-Yusita
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Jessica!
Ah! A most wonderful sonnet in terms of form and message!
And such a humble subject!
I don't see snails too often, but I do know they have the capacity to be the kind of hero of which you write.
Expressive.
Creative.
Much enjoyed.
One tiny suggestion:
His life was calm, (;) his tempo mild and slow
Thank you for sharing!
Best wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
 |
Hello, Jessica!
Ah! A most wonderful sonnet in terms of form and message!
And such a humble subject!
I don't see snails too often, but I do know they have the capacity to be the kind of hero of which you write.
Expressive.
Creative.
Much enjoyed.
One tiny suggestion:
His life was calm, (;) his tempo mild and slow
Thank you for sharing!
Best wishes!
diane
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
-
Thank you so much, diane. I truly appreciate your wonderful comments! Xoxo
Comment from Lea Tonin1
That's very clever life is never wasted it comes back in other forms. It speaks of you renewal. The way things should be a rhythm of life if you will. Very nice poem I was quite touched by it and it's a gorgeous picture too! Great submission!! Have am awesome day!
|
That's very clever life is never wasted it comes back in other forms. It speaks of you renewal. The way things should be a rhythm of life if you will. Very nice poem I was quite touched by it and it's a gorgeous picture too! Great submission!! Have am awesome day!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
Comment from Jesse James Doty
New life springs from death. A snail's sonnet tells the tale of his life and after his life was over how his shell became a venture for new life in the form of a daisy.
This speaks loud and clear about how the slow life of a snail can be the best way to live life to the fullest.
Jesse
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
|
New life springs from death. A snail's sonnet tells the tale of his life and after his life was over how his shell became a venture for new life in the form of a daisy.
This speaks loud and clear about how the slow life of a snail can be the best way to live life to the fullest.
Jesse
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
-
Thank you so much, Jesse
Comment from JSD
An excellent entry for this competition. In the style of the metaphysicals, you have taken an aspect of nature and made it a symbol of the human condition. Cleverly done and effortlessly structured. Well done and good luck. x
|
An excellent entry for this competition. In the style of the metaphysicals, you have taken an aspect of nature and made it a symbol of the human condition. Cleverly done and effortlessly structured. Well done and good luck. x
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
Comment from Boogienights
I really like this unique sonnet and the picture that comes with it. I think that snail has contributed more beauty to this world then most people. I admire your ability to write a sonnet, it's something I struggle with.
|
I really like this unique sonnet and the picture that comes with it. I think that snail has contributed more beauty to this world then most people. I admire your ability to write a sonnet, it's something I struggle with.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
Comment from leather
You chose a lovely and unusual image for this sonnet. The only thing that puzzled me was how sometimes the daisy was a 'he,' and then it was a 'she.' A little sex consistency would make it easier to read. No big thing--just something I noticed.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
|
You chose a lovely and unusual image for this sonnet. The only thing that puzzled me was how sometimes the daisy was a 'he,' and then it was a 'she.' A little sex consistency would make it easier to read. No big thing--just something I noticed.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
-
Thanks so much. Just to clarify, the snail is a ?he? and the daisy is a ?she?. I will revisit to make sure I made that clear in the poem. Thanks again! :) xo
-
I reread your poem and now feel the problem is mine. Sorry about that.
-
No apology necessary! :) thank you
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
And a little ladybird too! What a very sweet and original little sonnet which makes me feel very sorry for the poor deceased snail. Yet new life has taken over as he so heroically and altruistically provides for a seed to flourish in his spiral 'grave.' Beautifully said, Jess! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
|
And a little ladybird too! What a very sweet and original little sonnet which makes me feel very sorry for the poor deceased snail. Yet new life has taken over as he so heroically and altruistically provides for a seed to flourish in his spiral 'grave.' Beautifully said, Jess! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
-
Thanks so much, Debbie!:)
