Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Being a horse lover, I found this intriguing. Phantom is an excellent name for the horse in this tale. He gives it his all and he wins at quite the cost. Now being on that track on Halloween may be a bit too spooky for the squeamish, but what an adventure.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Thanks for the review, Debi. We had an unbelievable rain storm last year that washed out a big part of the trace track. They have decided not to fix it, so the Union races will be no more.

reply by w.j.debi on 16-Nov-2023

That is sad to hear.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

Very well done. A unique approach to a Halloween tale. I enjoyed the race, I have been to one in Louisiana, and this was on the money. You wrote this cleverly. Karen

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2023

Thanks, Karen. I have made a few small bets at the Union track. I missed the trace the other night. I'll try to catch it next year. That's the only winner that I can pick.

Comment from Goodadvicechan

Excellent

I enjoy the poem. You have done a good job to show the race.

I like this paragraph: l" It didn't look good for that worn out horse.
He really had started to tire.
And though fading fast, he held his own
And won by a nose at the wire."

Then it turned into a sad scene that two horses died.

Those sad stories can be thought of At Halloween times.

I like to be kids only enjoy the good parts of everything.

Thanks fir sharing

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023

Thanks for the review, Chan. I really enjoyed writing this one.

Comment from Katie Mae Dead

Excellent

Wow, this is a great story-poem Paul that reminds me a bit of the old story poem of Casey Jones the railroad worker.
This is such a clever tale of monsters coming to see a ghostly race every midnight on Halloween!!

Yeah, hearts exploding is one reason I'm not too pro on horse racing. I love the story of Seabuiscut though who had an enlarged heart and beat War Admiral in a classic match race. Watch the movie if your interested. It's well done.

I tried to detect a metre and it looks like you were shooting for stanzas in 10/8. Even metrical lines always make for an easier read.
This is definitely a contender and best wishes in the contest!
Luv&stuff
Katiemaedead

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks Katiemae. I have watched Seabiscuit many times. Have you ever watched the movie Secretariat?

reply by Katie Mae Dead on 31-Oct-2023

Yes I have. Very good as well.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent Halloween story poem. Your rhymes flow nicely and don't sound forced. The story about the horse and rider is sad. I usually don't like movies or stories about reliving an experience over and over but yours was fine. At least, phantom was lucky to win.

Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Gypsy. I wonder if they are racing tonight.

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

You did a phenomenal job on this creative Halloween story in a poem. Your rhythmic flow and detailed descriptions made it easy to envision every turn. Well done. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Lorraine. I should sneak over to the track tonight.

Comment from Mia Twysted

Exceptional

A wonderful and sad story. I really felt for the horse and the rider. I gasped as he crossed the finish line, happy for him yet sorry that he had to die. Then comes the second part of this story, how they all race again on Halloween night. Living the same tragedies over nd over as they all die again in the same spots. Yet Phantom was lucky to have died winning his last race. So he will always get to win.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Mia. Almost like the Groundhog Day movie.

Comment from Bill Schott

Exceptional

This is a modern classic that pulls the tragic John Henry-type tale together with the Halloween haunting theme is well worded and fun to follow. I enjoyed your story of Phantom and Ned McKee.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Bill. It was fun dreaming up that story.

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

Well that is quite the spooky little piece of Halloween fun. I enjoyed the journey you took us in and did not expect all the death in the end. May have been better to lose another one. Ha!

Good job and good luck!
D

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Doug. I think I'll sneak over to the track right after I go trick or treating.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Exceptional

Love "finished dead last" for a Halloween poem.

From all the Halloween poems I've read for this contest, it appears the dead all come out and watch horse races, dance, and take part in all sort of merriment. Who knew?

Phantom is the perfect name for this dead horse that wins this race every year; it killed him and made him a winner for eternity.

Nicely done, Paul. I wish you luck, as there are a few good entries here.

Pam

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2023

Thanks, Pam. Ground Hog Day all over again.