Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Signs"Biography/Supernatural
14 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
This is a really exceptional work by, I think, a young author. She missteps occasionally with an incomplete comparison or needs to revise a sentence here and there to make the logic of the story and its images more coheren "...a sharp stick poking you in the back" is a strong line but might be strengthened, I feel, with something like 'your mind keeps obsessively poking you in the back with a sharp stick.'
However, this writing draws the reader into the here and now of the story, so that he or she will feel the building of the cedar shelter and understand the three part rating the narrator gives the people of the world. And overall read from within the narration.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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This is a really exceptional work by, I think, a young author. She missteps occasionally with an incomplete comparison or needs to revise a sentence here and there to make the logic of the story and its images more coheren "...a sharp stick poking you in the back" is a strong line but might be strengthened, I feel, with something like 'your mind keeps obsessively poking you in the back with a sharp stick.'
However, this writing draws the reader into the here and now of the story, so that he or she will feel the building of the cedar shelter and understand the three part rating the narrator gives the people of the world. And overall read from within the narration.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023
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Thank you Frank again I really appreciate this fine review and your kind rating everything you have said in your review is very insightful and well received! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas that your New year's even better and that your day is grand! Thank you again!
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Happy New Year, Lea.
Comment from royowen
I can remember making lean-to's as a child, but with canvas, planks and nails, they were most comfortable with soft foliage as a floor, and a fence back, it was a great place to play, ingenious for a refugee, whose minds are sharpened by necessity. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : shit('s)) gonna hit
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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I can remember making lean-to's as a child, but with canvas, planks and nails, they were most comfortable with soft foliage as a floor, and a fence back, it was a great place to play, ingenious for a refugee, whose minds are sharpened by necessity. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : shit('s)) gonna hit
Comment Written 28-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
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Thank you Roy I appreciate you reading again and as always you have amazing great things to say! I hope you'll have a wonderful New year's Eve and that 2024 bring you everything you hope for thank you again for reading and writing and taking the time to go with me on this journey all the best to you!
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The same to you Kea
Comment from Pearl Edwards
With all that you had to go through it taught you so much. This was a great chapter Lea, especially how you let us see how it affects Lea now as you write about Lea then. Well done,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2023
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With all that you had to go through it taught you so much. This was a great chapter Lea, especially how you let us see how it affects Lea now as you write about Lea then. Well done,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2023
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Thank you, I'm glad you like this one. Glad to read your wonderful comments and review. Lotsa Glads in there I know! Again, I appreciate you really. I always appreciate when you're reading me view for me. I always have to see you again. Hope you have the best day!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
well, another interesting chapter. I had assumed that if you're close to civilization, it's just a matter of time before someone started encroaching on your area. Even in the vast wilderness, where you would think no one else would be, people show up, invited or not.
Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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Hello Lea,
well, another interesting chapter. I had assumed that if you're close to civilization, it's just a matter of time before someone started encroaching on your area. Even in the vast wilderness, where you would think no one else would be, people show up, invited or not.
Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 18-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023
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I think it's all about approach, body language and how you come across if you're just walking yourmally and you say good morning when you walk by, people think nothing of it that one lady with the walking stick. I thank you again for reading, that's awesome.
I also appreciate your continue to support. And I will say again that it is a precious gift and I hope that your day is amazing, thank you!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
EEEEEEEEK!! This was a standout chapter. You really SHARED with us, took us in, TAUGHT us important facts that you've learned and live by. I felt like your eager apprentice who has so much you can teach me that will improve many aspects of my life.
And then you end by me worrying about you and who's there and what they're going to do should they find you. Which of the three groups are they in? [PS I'm with you; fence-sitters are quite deadly. The bad people you recognize right away. The fence-sitters, though, catch us off guard.]
I feel like this is your best work yet, Lea. You're blossoming as a writer with every new chapter. xo
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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EEEEEEEEK!! This was a standout chapter. You really SHARED with us, took us in, TAUGHT us important facts that you've learned and live by. I felt like your eager apprentice who has so much you can teach me that will improve many aspects of my life.
And then you end by me worrying about you and who's there and what they're going to do should they find you. Which of the three groups are they in? [PS I'm with you; fence-sitters are quite deadly. The bad people you recognize right away. The fence-sitters, though, catch us off guard.]
I feel like this is your best work yet, Lea. You're blossoming as a writer with every new chapter. xo
Comment Written 18-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023
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It's gratifying to know that people understand the concept of good, bad, and ugly. Thank you again!! You rock!
Comment from LJbutterfly
In your story, you include wise and accurate reflections on life and personalities of people. Your three categories of people is interesting and thought-provoking. I'm glad your instincts tell you when to be cautious. I can't wait to find out about the woman with the walking stick.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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In your story, you include wise and accurate reflections on life and personalities of people. Your three categories of people is interesting and thought-provoking. I'm glad your instincts tell you when to be cautious. I can't wait to find out about the woman with the walking stick.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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That will be soon, thank you so much again. I appreciate you reading, I'm glad this interests you. I'm happy that people are liking it. And I'm still surprised as I'm such a new writer. Your skill at writing is amazing. You are a word Smith, there is no doubt about it. I see you answered a couple more. I go to read them now. Thanks again, have an awesome night!
Comment from Jim Wile
As if there wasn't enough to worry about, now you've got a busybody to have to be concerned with!
You continue to use your ingenuity to make your campsite more protected and less visible. You've got some amazing camp craft skills, Lea.
I was a little confused by this paragraph: "I find that this world is full of fence-sitters. They get you when your defences are down, that's when betrayal comes. My friends arrive for a few days and that's about when my food runs out."
Were you trying to say that your friends became betrayers? I'm just not sure what you had in mind there.
Two other small points:
In the sentence that says, "I managed to retain some lovely scratches," perhaps "attain" would be better than "retain" because "attain" means "get" as opposed to
"retain" which means "hold onto."
The last point is that "a muck" should be either "amuck" or "amok." Both are acceptable.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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As if there wasn't enough to worry about, now you've got a busybody to have to be concerned with!
You continue to use your ingenuity to make your campsite more protected and less visible. You've got some amazing camp craft skills, Lea.
I was a little confused by this paragraph: "I find that this world is full of fence-sitters. They get you when your defences are down, that's when betrayal comes. My friends arrive for a few days and that's about when my food runs out."
Were you trying to say that your friends became betrayers? I'm just not sure what you had in mind there.
Two other small points:
In the sentence that says, "I managed to retain some lovely scratches," perhaps "attain" would be better than "retain" because "attain" means "get" as opposed to
"retain" which means "hold onto."
The last point is that "a muck" should be either "amuck" or "amok." Both are acceptable.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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Jim, thank you so much for pointing those out to me. I need immediate corrections. No, the anything you see that you think could be better or change. I'm so open to hearing that. I'm reading that and doing that. You are such a talented writer. But I will take my cue from folks like yourself. II thank you and appreciate your review. And your time you put into it. I am grateful I hope you have a wonderful evening!
Comment from BethShelby
I see you've posted the next post so I anxious to get to it because I curious about what is about to happen. I think in must have something to do with the lady with the cane. She may have followed your tracts or sent some up to investigate.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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I see you've posted the next post so I anxious to get to it because I curious about what is about to happen. I think in must have something to do with the lady with the cane. She may have followed your tracts or sent some up to investigate.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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It's a tangled web that lady weaved be digging into that very soon, thank you again, I'm glad to see you I'm glad to have your review as always I appreciate your comments and it's good for my memory too, cause you ask questions that make me go oh yeah?
It's my memory to the survival portion that I learned. So that's a great thing and your comments mean a lot to me. So I do hope you have a wonderful evening and thank you again!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I seem to be reading these chapters out of sync but I'm not unduly confused. It all makes a lot of sense. You're now very wary about that woman returning and are determined to do everything in your power to build your defences. I like the way your mind drifts off and then returns to the practicalities (which are very impressively outlined to one who has never engaged in bushcraft etc). This is, as ever, engagingly written, holding the reader's attention throughout. 2 small edits: 'faze' not 'phase' and 'Afterwards' would read better than 'After.' But excellently done, of course, Lea! Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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I seem to be reading these chapters out of sync but I'm not unduly confused. It all makes a lot of sense. You're now very wary about that woman returning and are determined to do everything in your power to build your defences. I like the way your mind drifts off and then returns to the practicalities (which are very impressively outlined to one who has never engaged in bushcraft etc). This is, as ever, engagingly written, holding the reader's attention throughout. 2 small edits: 'faze' not 'phase' and 'Afterwards' would read better than 'After.' But excellently done, of course, Lea! Debbie
Comment Written 17-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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Perfect thank you i'm on that change. You're the best! Every time I see a horn of yours or our mutual friends reviews, I still get a jolt of surprise and I'll tell you why last you're. I hadn't written a thing my life. You're today now I'm writing and people like it. Oh, so surprises me still no. So the fact that you're with me on this journey, is it gift? So thank you, and thank you for your review!
Comment from JSD
Beautifully written. Not only is this introspective and reflective writing, analysing your teenage thoughts, but it is an adventure story, ending with a cliffhanger. Well done. On to the next one. x
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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Beautifully written. Not only is this introspective and reflective writing, analysing your teenage thoughts, but it is an adventure story, ending with a cliffhanger. Well done. On to the next one. x
Comment Written 17-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023
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Thank you, John, I'm so happy you read this and you follow along as diligently as you do! Thank you it means a lot! I thank you for your super awesome review as well. I appreciate you have a great night!
