Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Old Revelations "Biography/Supernatural
10 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
As I read your chapters Lea I think of the kids on our streets and some of the stories they too could tell. It is both brave and therapeutic telling your story. Very descriptive chapter both of your feelings and fear and the pine trees wiggling their leaves. Well done,
Cheers
Valda
Typo -Yo girl were (we're) out
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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As I read your chapters Lea I think of the kids on our streets and some of the stories they too could tell. It is both brave and therapeutic telling your story. Very descriptive chapter both of your feelings and fear and the pine trees wiggling their leaves. Well done,
Cheers
Valda
Typo -Yo girl were (we're) out
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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You are completely and totally, right! It does peel the onion by talking and writing about it. Takes some of the sting away every time I do I also hope that it helps someone else too. Birds with one Stone as they say. Thank you so very much again. I appreciate your time and effort you've put into reading. Enjoy your evening, thanks again!!
Comment from kahpot
I think I have jumped ahead here, (I will go back) this is an excellent read, you have drawn us in with your shopping strategies, then (though expecting) brought on the escape with wonderful description, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I think I have jumped ahead here, (I will go back) this is an excellent read, you have drawn us in with your shopping strategies, then (though expecting) brought on the escape with wonderful description, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Again thank you very much, I appreciate you your comments and so glad you liked them. I hope you have a great night!👍🙃🙂😉
Comment from Annmuma
What a chapter! Even though I am in the middle of your auto bio, it was easy to get lost in this one instance. Well written with well defined characters and scene. I will be looking up other parts of the story. ann
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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What a chapter! Even though I am in the middle of your auto bio, it was easy to get lost in this one instance. Well written with well defined characters and scene. I will be looking up other parts of the story. ann
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you Ann for your kind words for your review. I'm glad you're enjoying them. I hope you continue to do so. And I really welcome you along for the ride. You have much talent and great things to say. I appreciate it so very much! I hope you are doing well!
Comment from Jim Wile
You can certainly tell you had scruples, and you were very uncomfortable having to steal, but your survival instinct was the greater, and you did what you had to do to survive. Tough position for a good kid to be in.
I loved this sentence uttered by your friend: "Yer weird...who reads books man."
The very next sentence I think has some missing words. Perhaps this would read better: "Off they went, their hands jammed deep in their pockets."
Isn't it amazing how the time just flies by when you are writing? That happens to me too. It's a nice way to spend the day, though. - Jim
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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You can certainly tell you had scruples, and you were very uncomfortable having to steal, but your survival instinct was the greater, and you did what you had to do to survive. Tough position for a good kid to be in.
I loved this sentence uttered by your friend: "Yer weird...who reads books man."
The very next sentence I think has some missing words. Perhaps this would read better: "Off they went, their hands jammed deep in their pockets."
Isn't it amazing how the time just flies by when you are writing? That happens to me too. It's a nice way to spend the day, though. - Jim
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Jim, thank you so much for catching that. I corrected it right way when yes it is amazing. I could put my head down 1 minute over coffee at 8 AM and pick my head up the next minute. And it's 6 PM Oh oh...time for supper! Thank you for your kind words. It was a rock and hard place, but the hungry sketcher you forget the hard place. Thank you again hope you have a great evening!
Comment from JSD
So exciting. Such drama. Well done. Love the way we are inside your head, whether your head now or that suffering fifteen year old head. Brilliant stuff. x
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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So exciting. Such drama. Well done. Love the way we are inside your head, whether your head now or that suffering fifteen year old head. Brilliant stuff. x
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I'm really glad you liked this style of writing and for me it was a must do because the same feelings I had then I have today although they're older and much more educated memories. I write for the injustice of The Thing I write for the other children out there. And I write because it makes the people aware of what could be if you watch the signs. I hope it helps someone I know. It helps me to write it out regardless of whether it becomes something worth reading to me, it is my remedy.. Thank you again you're a rockin dude l o l
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your battle continues here Lea against hunger and surviving with nothing. Glad friends still helped you, but this is no way for a young girl to live. I expect this period in your life has given you the strength to face any challenge after that, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Your battle continues here Lea against hunger and surviving with nothing. Glad friends still helped you, but this is no way for a young girl to live. I expect this period in your life has given you the strength to face any challenge after that, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi yes it has and no it isn't. Things do change though you're coming to the events that saw me out. Dolly I so appreciate you reading along and offering your thoughts. You're a very knowledgeable lady. Thanks again!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Very exciting and fascinating how cunning and pre-meditated you grew to be, out of necessity. Oy. My heart goes out to you during this time. Still, it was better than being at home. The starkness of that really breaks my heart: Being age 14, and living alone in the woods, having to steal in order to eat, was a better life than being at home with your family. Your mad friend and sad friend were amazing about the way they kept your safe by being such vaults regarding your whereabouts. Usually kids that age haven't acquired that skill. But truly kept your best interest in mind, bless their heart.
Lea, it's totally okay to expand these chapters. They feel a little 'encapsulated' to me, and I remember doing that, too, when I was first writing. You can write more, and still keep us interested. Especially this far into it now, if you write longer chapters, it will feel like you're "trusting" us, letting us in behind your wall more and more.
xoxox
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Very exciting and fascinating how cunning and pre-meditated you grew to be, out of necessity. Oy. My heart goes out to you during this time. Still, it was better than being at home. The starkness of that really breaks my heart: Being age 14, and living alone in the woods, having to steal in order to eat, was a better life than being at home with your family. Your mad friend and sad friend were amazing about the way they kept your safe by being such vaults regarding your whereabouts. Usually kids that age haven't acquired that skill. But truly kept your best interest in mind, bless their heart.
Lea, it's totally okay to expand these chapters. They feel a little 'encapsulated' to me, and I remember doing that, too, when I was first writing. You can write more, and still keep us interested. Especially this far into it now, if you write longer chapters, it will feel like you're "trusting" us, letting us in behind your wall more and more.
xoxox
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Very good advice. Yes, thank you very much and thank you again for reviewing. You know I always appreciate what you have to say and take it all very seriously. I will expand on probably most of these chapters, but I'll do it in the rewrite and as well as along the way. Because so many people have great suggestions and ideas for corrections yourself. Not excluded from thappreciate your kind reviews. Your honest perception and your willingness to put it forth. I hope you have a great day, thank you again!
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Yes, the other writers on this site are SUCH a great source of knowledge and help and experience. I was the same way as you when I first started on here: I took it all to heart and just absorbed the help. That's the best way possible to keep growing as a writer.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I somehow thought this might go a bit wrong this time. I think my heart must have been beating as fast as yours:) You got away though, your willpower ever strong. But you know, I think that this can't go on. No complaints about your writing other than "For the next (while) my friends..." This sounded a bit awkward and I wondered if you could take a look. Otherwise, excellently done, Lea! Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I somehow thought this might go a bit wrong this time. I think my heart must have been beating as fast as yours:) You got away though, your willpower ever strong. But you know, I think that this can't go on. No complaints about your writing other than "For the next (while) my friends..." This sounded a bit awkward and I wondered if you could take a look. Otherwise, excellently done, Lea! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Thank you again! I want to have made those changes. Yeah, we don't want to be skipping stuff. It causes questions and corrections. Like the one you've so rightly pointed out and I appreciate that. How else do we learn? Your reviews are awesome by the way. Too bad they don't give out more nominations. Have a great day!
Comment from BethShelby
I can understand your fear having been spotted in the parking lot with unbagged groceries. I've never stolen anything but once I tired to take a book from the library without checking it out because I had no library card and was in another town. I planned to bring it back after I read it, but when I started out the door the alarm when off. It was a small book in my purse. I was humiliated that I'd been caught. I know you'd rather not try to take things from the store, but you have to have food.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I can understand your fear having been spotted in the parking lot with unbagged groceries. I've never stolen anything but once I tired to take a book from the library without checking it out because I had no library card and was in another town. I planned to bring it back after I read it, but when I started out the door the alarm when off. It was a small book in my purse. I was humiliated that I'd been caught. I know you'd rather not try to take things from the store, but you have to have food.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Yeah, no feeling things was the last thing I wanted to do. And when I didn't have to anymore, I didn't. My conscience would punish me worse than any other person could.
Yes, the embarrassment is excruciating. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.. You just want to run and hide... I get it. Thank you again For your review and for reading and for hanging out with me I hope you have the best day!
Comment from JT traveller
Very well-written, concise and impactful. I read your work on my laptop for the first time as I was considering starting another novel, but thought I would check FS first. The bold print is fantastic.
One thing I have to disagree with you on is the statement that time is linear. Time, for me, is malleable. It is a mystical concept not easily explained by physics. It bends, and it sways. It slows down and speeds up. Such is the beauty of time. We write, and our world seems carefree. Sending love, Jacqui xx
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Very well-written, concise and impactful. I read your work on my laptop for the first time as I was considering starting another novel, but thought I would check FS first. The bold print is fantastic.
One thing I have to disagree with you on is the statement that time is linear. Time, for me, is malleable. It is a mystical concept not easily explained by physics. It bends, and it sways. It slows down and speeds up. Such is the beauty of time. We write, and our world seems carefree. Sending love, Jacqui xx
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, thank you so much for your awesome review. I appreciate your perspective and yes, time is speeding up and slowing down. It's a very interesting way of looking at it. I appreciate hearing different ideas too. Because it keeps US Open to learning. A close mind is a dead mind if you ask me but thank you for your kind words and I really am happy that you're reading along with me. Feel free to go through my book "Ghost" if you wish. Thank you again, I'm always happy to see your name and review. Have an awesome day!
