Dazzling darkness
A free Verse Poem44 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi John,
This is a well written free verse that uses repetition, alliteration, consonance and metaphor to describe finding God in contemplation of the night sky.
I the dark indigo darkness uses dark too much maybe it can be deep indigo darkness. I think the artwork is beautiful but it doesn't mirror the blank darkness of the sky. Maybe the moon in a starless sky.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a wonderful week end.
Joan
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Hi John,
This is a well written free verse that uses repetition, alliteration, consonance and metaphor to describe finding God in contemplation of the night sky.
I the dark indigo darkness uses dark too much maybe it can be deep indigo darkness. I think the artwork is beautiful but it doesn't mirror the blank darkness of the sky. Maybe the moon in a starless sky.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a wonderful week end.
Joan
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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🙏🙏👍
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You're welcome, John.
Joan
Comment from Lisasview
Good morning JLR,
I do not think I am getting your posts on my messages... I was for awhile but not now... so every so often I check...
I am home now from a painful knee replacement and spending my time (which I have a lot of) to catch up reading, reviewing and posting.
This is interesting Free Style poem with deep contemplation.
I enjoyed the read,
Lisa
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Good morning JLR,
I do not think I am getting your posts on my messages... I was for awhile but not now... so every so often I check...
I am home now from a painful knee replacement and spending my time (which I have a lot of) to catch up reading, reviewing and posting.
This is interesting Free Style poem with deep contemplation.
I enjoyed the read,
Lisa
Comment Written 14-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Lisa you have deepest sympathy! I had a TKA left knee on September 18th. I am now just feeling like I am able to feel ahead of this.
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Wow, seems like a rather long time.
Did you do PT daily?
Here in Spain they start PT the same day as surgery.
Pain is crazy but better than the first week.
Ice helps a lot.
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They start PT two weeks post surgery allowing the wound to heal. I have to undergo a procedure at six weeks called an MUA to break loose scar tissue
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My PT, here in Spain started the same day as surgery.
Nearly every day in the hospital (7 days) I had PT
At home do loads of PT and twice a week I go to the hospital for PT
They really work hard so that there is no scare tissue.
Strange how different countries have different agendas?
Are you okay now?
Lisa
Comment from Janet Foor
This is truly a beautiful and amazing free verse poem. You take the reader along with you on this journey into the indigo darkness and leave us wanting more.
Thank you too for your notes. I don't know the length of time for three to four bells. I love that I learn so much from my fellow FanStorians.
Well done Jim - sorry I am out of sixes. This is well worth more than that.
Blessings
Janet
Janet
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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This is truly a beautiful and amazing free verse poem. You take the reader along with you on this journey into the indigo darkness and leave us wanting more.
Thank you too for your notes. I don't know the length of time for three to four bells. I love that I learn so much from my fellow FanStorians.
Well done Jim - sorry I am out of sixes. This is well worth more than that.
Blessings
Janet
Janet
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Janet, thank you, I too appreciate our FanStorians contributions.
Comment from Barry Penfold
Took me two reads to really get where you were going. Like the concept of floating on a river and the image is great as I can see myself floating on a river amongst the stars.
Well done and thanks for the notes.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Took me two reads to really get where you were going. Like the concept of floating on a river and the image is great as I can see myself floating on a river amongst the stars.
Well done and thanks for the notes.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your deep dive into my world.
Comment from Mark Ness
I've been to that place and glad I can open that door I thought every one could. And I think they do,but the words they don't,that's where people like you, and hopefully me,can invite them into that place of peace and knowing that what awaits us is beyond those stars and beyond darkness. As I question the very same things and glad I came to the same answer as you as I sit in my darkness I only have my pen, and glasses to read and hopefully write works such as yours. Markness..
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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I've been to that place and glad I can open that door I thought every one could. And I think they do,but the words they don't,that's where people like you, and hopefully me,can invite them into that place of peace and knowing that what awaits us is beyond those stars and beyond darkness. As I question the very same things and glad I came to the same answer as you as I sit in my darkness I only have my pen, and glasses to read and hopefully write works such as yours. Markness..
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Markness, Thank you dipping your toes and ink into the well of Presence.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is lovely and I can feel myself floating along with you on this dark and starless night. Your descriptions are vivid and ethereal. I wish you good luck int he contest, Jim. :)
Melissa
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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This is lovely and I can feel myself floating along with you on this dark and starless night. Your descriptions are vivid and ethereal. I wish you good luck int he contest, Jim. :)
Melissa
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Melissa hello and thank you.Jim
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a beautiful free verse JLR, flows perfectly with emotions and visions. As I was reading I felt the flow of a deep mediation as your words and descriptions gave a feeli sense of peace. Beautifully written,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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This is a beautiful free verse JLR, flows perfectly with emotions and visions. As I was reading I felt the flow of a deep mediation as your words and descriptions gave a feeli sense of peace. Beautifully written,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Valda. Thank you for your very kinda, supportive words.
Comment from Navada
I really enjoyed your use of imagery throughout this piece to define, in beautiful descriptive detail, what you see and perceive in the darkness and what it means for you. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest! :)
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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I really enjoyed your use of imagery throughout this piece to define, in beautiful descriptive detail, what you see and perceive in the darkness and what it means for you. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest! :)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Thank you
Comment from Raul1
I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. The sentences flow with clarity. It is a well executed poem and it has a flow of words. Good luck on the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. The sentences flow with clarity. It is a well executed poem and it has a flow of words. Good luck on the contest!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Thank you
Comment from Sarita Méndez
This is a very beautiful and evocative poem. I appreciate its imagery and I could imagine myself in your indigo darkness!
Thank you for sharing this excellent text and good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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This is a very beautiful and evocative poem. I appreciate its imagery and I could imagine myself in your indigo darkness!
Thank you for sharing this excellent text and good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2024
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Thank you
