Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "The Great Lie"Biography/Supernatural
10 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I may have reviewed this chapter before, but it is not showing up.
Here is an insidious, unbelievable way abusers sometimes get away with awful treatment of others, by projecting it back onto the victims' state of mind:
I think you should know what your mother's been saying". She paused and looked me in the face. "She's saying that you girls are mentally disturbed and are suffering from false memory syndrome. Pay no attention to any stories they may tell you."
I think I would punctuate this slightly differently. Maybe try:
I think you should know what your mother's been saying." She paused and looked me in the face. "She's saying that you girls are mentally disturbed and are suffering from false memory syndrome and that we should pay no attention to any stories you may tell."
That should help with parallelism (that you girls are/that we should pay no). I think it is okay to have the conjunction 'and' twice there, since it is a conversation being repeated.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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I may have reviewed this chapter before, but it is not showing up.
Here is an insidious, unbelievable way abusers sometimes get away with awful treatment of others, by projecting it back onto the victims' state of mind:
I think you should know what your mother's been saying". She paused and looked me in the face. "She's saying that you girls are mentally disturbed and are suffering from false memory syndrome. Pay no attention to any stories they may tell you."
I think I would punctuate this slightly differently. Maybe try:
I think you should know what your mother's been saying." She paused and looked me in the face. "She's saying that you girls are mentally disturbed and are suffering from false memory syndrome and that we should pay no attention to any stories you may tell."
That should help with parallelism (that you girls are/that we should pay no). I think it is okay to have the conjunction 'and' twice there, since it is a conversation being repeated.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Awesome, thank you so much. I went ahead and made that change too I appreciate these little nuggets of information you Gare, there, insightful and helpful at the same time. Thank you so much!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
By writing your story you are making sure that they didn't beat you, Lea. Both the adults in your life altered the facts to suit themselves. There's no way she didn't know what was happening to her daughters. Relax and remember and keep going Lea.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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By writing your story you are making sure that they didn't beat you, Lea. Both the adults in your life altered the facts to suit themselves. There's no way she didn't know what was happening to her daughters. Relax and remember and keep going Lea.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 16-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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You're absolutely correct. She knew the whole ti heard a thing's going on that. I didn't know about until very recently but it answers all the questions I had. And it is terrifying and terrible. And so I shall write about it and there may or may not be repercussions. I don't know but I do know. I'm on the right track and I had people like yourself. Encouraging me along the way. Thank you Valda for your fine review again!
Comment from kahpot
"She left me to to stare right into the eye of the wolf again." I did stumble on this line, to have this happening to you at such a young age must have been terrifying, like before, though sad a very enjoyable read, I will catch up soon****kahpot
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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"She left me to to stare right into the eye of the wolf again." I did stumble on this line, to have this happening to you at such a young age must have been terrifying, like before, though sad a very enjoyable read, I will catch up soon****kahpot
Comment Written 13-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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Hello again thank you for reading! I'm always glad to see your review! The wolf in the eye that's about how it felt at the time. I'm so glad you've taken an interest in this story. Appreciate you coming along for the ride and providing your support. Like gold! Hope you have a great night!
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She left me to to stare" sorry, it was the
"to to" that I stumbled on
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Np thx!
Comment from LJbutterfly
And the horrors continue. It sounds as though your mother would put up with anything, including cruelty to her children, just to keep that particular man happy. She always knew you were telling her the truth. She just didn't want to do anything about any of it.
You've entered this chapter in a contest. I wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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And the horrors continue. It sounds as though your mother would put up with anything, including cruelty to her children, just to keep that particular man happy. She always knew you were telling her the truth. She just didn't want to do anything about any of it.
You've entered this chapter in a contest. I wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much, I so appreciate your reviews. You have no idea. I never experienced acknowledgment like I have experienced here and it is good feeling .foreign one but definitely good! You are part of that with your kind reviews. Your compassion and your insight. I say it's like so many Coats I know. You have it in spades. So thank you for your kind review. And I hope you have the best night!
Comment from JSD
Incredible the lies people spin to normalise their behaviour. Your note at the end, 'I'm not in that life anymore' is gratifying and desperately needed by the reader. Longing for happier times. x
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Incredible the lies people spin to normalise their behaviour. Your note at the end, 'I'm not in that life anymore' is gratifying and desperately needed by the reader. Longing for happier times. x
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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They will come too oh yes, the life is up and Downs. I expected as much when I finally left.
Thank you again and I appreciate a for reviewing. Always happy to see your reviews enjoy your day. It's a beautiful one here!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Ugh. Have you The Glass Castle? That used to be the worst book I ever read about child abuse. But your story makes it look like a Disney movie by comparison. I'm so glad you are a grown-up now and free to make all your own life choices. I'm sending you so much love. xo
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Ugh. Have you The Glass Castle? That used to be the worst book I ever read about child abuse. But your story makes it look like a Disney movie by comparison. I'm so glad you are a grown-up now and free to make all your own life choices. I'm sending you so much love. xo
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thank you, my friend lots of the same right back at you. I hope you're well and I am not too much of a drain on your brain. In some ways, it is a lot to swallow. Thank you for your patience and for your understanding. And for your guidance, you are the best!
Comment from Jim Wile
Oh, Lea. How much worse can this story get? Now even your aunt, who should have known better than to believe a story like your mother fed her, won't help you and made you feel even worse. How could you ever trust anyone again?
I guess this made you realize you were on your own and that your salvation was totally within your own hands--an awful realization for a child but one that made you learn to depend on yourself. I'm so sorry for what you went through. - Jim
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Oh, Lea. How much worse can this story get? Now even your aunt, who should have known better than to believe a story like your mother fed her, won't help you and made you feel even worse. How could you ever trust anyone again?
I guess this made you realize you were on your own and that your salvation was totally within your own hands--an awful realization for a child but one that made you learn to depend on yourself. I'm so sorry for what you went through. - Jim
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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No, my family didn't do anything. It was all my Aunt could do to bring me clothes and inform me but would go. No farther our family also involved in social services. So it was easy to manipulate the system not to be involved a lot. That clears up the questions. How specifically they were able to get away with it. Thank you so much for your kind review you again. Your support and your compassion are like gold to me. Thank you again. I hope you have the best afternoon!
Comment from JPGeo
As you cautioned, it was hard to read about such a horrible situation. I'll refrain from judging anyone in your story but say that it was very well written. You bring the reader along on your emotional roller coaster. I suspect writing your difficult story makes you stronger. I hope so. Thanks for sharing.
Peace,
John
There's a small typo in the line, "The doorknob seeming turned off its own accord"
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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As you cautioned, it was hard to read about such a horrible situation. I'll refrain from judging anyone in your story but say that it was very well written. You bring the reader along on your emotional roller coaster. I suspect writing your difficult story makes you stronger. I hope so. Thanks for sharing.
Peace,
John
There's a small typo in the line, "The doorknob seeming turned off its own accord"
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thank you John for reading for your support and kind words. They are worth gold to me! Writing this story is kind of like a Blood Pressure cuff how tight it is. When it begins, slowly lets off pressure as each chapter is written. I'm writing a book called "Ghost" which is in my portfolio an ongoing work so far, there are 10 chapters in the proper order. And then some higher chapters that are not. You are welcome to read if you wish.
Thank you again for your review! I hope you have the best of days!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is great, Lea! The anger, the assertiveness are developing well, probably because you're speaking to other adults like your aunt who you obviously view as something of an ally. The fact is, that your home circumstances haven't changed but something inside you has started to blossom. I love your reference to the birds. So many poets/authors have been inspired by the freedom that birds represent. It also speaks of your emerging realisation that there is another world out there and it's worth fighting for. Small edit" para starting "One of the worst incidents..." -she left me to to ... Excellent work! Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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This is great, Lea! The anger, the assertiveness are developing well, probably because you're speaking to other adults like your aunt who you obviously view as something of an ally. The fact is, that your home circumstances haven't changed but something inside you has started to blossom. I love your reference to the birds. So many poets/authors have been inspired by the freedom that birds represent. It also speaks of your emerging realisation that there is another world out there and it's worth fighting for. Small edit" para starting "One of the worst incidents..." -she left me to to ... Excellent work! Debbie
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much again Debbie! Yes Lea was getting real mad by then. And thank you for the suggested change. I will certainly do that I always appreciate them. As you know, it helps create a better presentation. I so appreciate you reading my work and offering your thoughts is only by networking that we do better. I think so, thank you very much. May the force be with you!!
LOL.
Comment from BethShelby
I can understand your feeling of anger and rage. There is nothing a frustrating as to accused of something that isn't true and to know there isn't much you can do about it. I hope to learn how you finally got out of this situation and what has happened with your sisters.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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I can understand your feeling of anger and rage. There is nothing a frustrating as to accused of something that isn't true and to know there isn't much you can do about it. I hope to learn how you finally got out of this situation and what has happened with your sisters.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Yes, that is coming, I thank you so much for following and for your awesome reviews! They are always welcome and always appreciate them, and yes, the questions will be answered. Answers are never simple, but they come one at a time. Thank you again so much. I so appreciate your support and you compassionate comments have a great night!
