Comment from aryr

Excellent

What an interesting picture and a great tanka, Gypsy. The first picture portrays a young woman in all of her finery while the second one portrays a person of bones. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Blessed be.

Gypsy hugs

reply by aryr on 01-Oct-2023

Most welcome, Gypsy.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This poem is a little haunting because of the idea of death watching over you. If you changed the artwork, it could be a loved one watching over you. Either way it's a great poem and presentation.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

It's about a woman holding her beloved while he dies.

I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

Gypsy hugs

reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

It's about a woman holding her beloved while he dies.

Thank you very much, . (*÷*) I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

i like the rhyme in lines 2 and 4 in the new version (you left the old version in your notes lol) and the last two lines flow much smoother

nice imagery and colours
and cool pics, too -
love the bottom one!

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

Thank you, I corrected that.


Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Actually I liked the internal rhyming of end and bend on your notes. But I see your post has dusk. I read this poem as a reassurance that God will carry us from this world to the next.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

Thank you, big sister. I had changed it to bend and end. You must have read an earlier version.

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Love

Marival

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Excellent, yes, when we know the end is near for a loved one, we can only hope to comfort them, and for their ease, stay positive, very well written and presented****kahpot

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

This could be interpreted two different ways. Either someone who is protective and loving watching over you as you sleep or death telling you it's time and trust the process. Either way it's compelling. Gretchen

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023

Yes it's whatever you think it is. To me is someone with a loved one who is dying. But with haiku it's different for everybody.

Thank you!

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Cindy Decker 2

Exceptional

Gypsy,
This is such a beautiful Tanka.
It's bittersweet to spend a love's end holding him.
Your words are hauntingly beautiful.
Good luck with your book. I'm sure it will be a success!
Blessings,
Cindy

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023

Thank you very much, Cindy. I appreciate your exceptional six stars review! May you have a lovely evening.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine poem, Gypsy....with quite an ominous, spooky vibe....fits in nicely with the coming holiday, I'm taking of course about Columbus Day, if the PC Police haven't taken that away!

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023

I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. May you have a wonderful night.

Gypsy hugs