Enjoy Life, Do It
Try to go out.2 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun post and we hope not to be too stressed out by life as we share it with others, a fine post.
Did you mean (stress) here?
(Don't you struss)
Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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A fun post and we hope not to be too stressed out by life as we share it with others, a fine post.
Did you mean (stress) here?
(Don't you struss)
Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Eleri
This poem has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest but the rhyming scheme is incorrect. It should be abbcbccaccbcbba and yours appears to be abcdbeefeebebba. Also, in line six I don;t think you mean 'curing' - possibly it is supposed to be 'caring'? I think that you need to have another look at the rhyming before the contest cut off date.
Eleri
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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This poem has the correct number of syllables per line for the contest but the rhyming scheme is incorrect. It should be abbcbccaccbcbba and yours appears to be abcdbeefeebebba. Also, in line six I don;t think you mean 'curing' - possibly it is supposed to be 'caring'? I think that you need to have another look at the rhyming before the contest cut off date.
Eleri
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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Thank you for your help and advice! I think I fixed it. Can you please revise it?
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That is better but it is still incorrect in places. It now goes abcdbaefaababba raher than the required abbcbccaccbcbba.
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I have fixed it. I think. Can you please revise it? How does it look?
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I am sorry but your rhyming is still wrong. You have five types of end rhyme when you shoud just have three, ie a, b and c. Also line three should rhyme with line two and yours doesn't.
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Okay, you were right that it didn't rhyme. I have fixed the poem. Can you please revise it? Let me know how I did.
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You still have four end rhymes in your poem when you only need three. It should be that line two should rhyme with line three, line five, line eleven, line thirteen and line fourteen. Line one should rhyme with line eight and line fifteen, while line four should rhyme with line six, line seven, line nine, line ten and line twelve.
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Okay, I have made the changes. Is it good now? Can you please revise it?
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Okay, I have made the changes. Is it good now? Can you please revise it?