Agony
I wrote this painful poem when I was 20 years old53 total reviews
Comment from Sarita Méndez
I love this poem as it is. It perfectly depicts the sufferings of a beaten woman (unless I misunderstood your thoughts ?) or at least a women who is left alone by her loved one. Your prize is well deserved.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
  |
I love this poem as it is. It perfectly depicts the sufferings of a beaten woman (unless I misunderstood your thoughts ?) or at least a women who is left alone by her loved one. Your prize is well deserved.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
-
Oh goodness, thank you so much... a woman who is left alone were my feelings when I wrote it... Her agony ...so unbearable.
Lisa
-
:)
-
:) back
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Melancholy and the fear of abandonment erupts from every line. "Hard feelings erupted into a fight,
trying now to make things perfectly right.
But, the door is slammed, you'll likely be gone.
Hopes for our love are all surely withdrawn." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
|
Melancholy and the fear of abandonment erupts from every line. "Hard feelings erupted into a fight,
trying now to make things perfectly right.
But, the door is slammed, you'll likely be gone.
Hopes for our love are all surely withdrawn." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
-
I came in 2nd in the contest.
Thank you,
Lisa
Comment from Pearl Edwards
And I think this poem shows all the despair and emotions of that twenty-year-old Lisa. A friend and I once did a poetry reading to year three children, about nine years old, and I was amazed that some of them had already started writing poetry at home. It's good that you are now sharing your writing rather than just putting them in the drawer.
Cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
|
And I think this poem shows all the despair and emotions of that twenty-year-old Lisa. A friend and I once did a poetry reading to year three children, about nine years old, and I was amazed that some of them had already started writing poetry at home. It's good that you are now sharing your writing rather than just putting them in the drawer.
Cheers,
valda
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
-
Yes, I actually wrote a short 3 page story when I was 10 years old.
I still have it.
Thank you,
Lisa
Comment from w.j.debi
Thanks for sharing this early poem from years ago. It takes courage to present something you'd like to correct.
There is a lot of emotion in this poem. Writing certainly helps get that out so you can deal with it.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
|
Thanks for sharing this early poem from years ago. It takes courage to present something you'd like to correct.
There is a lot of emotion in this poem. Writing certainly helps get that out so you can deal with it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
-
I agree with getting the emotions out. When I was a child and even a young adult, my mother would tell me to write my anger, frustration, etc. down on a piece of paper and then tear it up and throw it into the toilet...So, I learned to write down my feeling from a very early age.
Thank you for your kind review,
Lisa
Comment from GWHARGIS
Your author notes make perfect sense. Writing stories is a part of me. This was a powerful poem. How we always think that a fight will end a relationship. And sometimes when immature and unbending, it can. But true love endures. It communicates. Great poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
|
Your author notes make perfect sense. Writing stories is a part of me. This was a powerful poem. How we always think that a fight will end a relationship. And sometimes when immature and unbending, it can. But true love endures. It communicates. Great poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
-
Communication is always the key to true happiness,
Lisa
Comment from royowen
There's an old Yorkshire saying that goes, "There's brass in muck" meaning the wisest things don't necessarily come from what is traditionally the wisest sources, this is beautifully written fo this odd contest, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
|
There's an old Yorkshire saying that goes, "There's brass in muck" meaning the wisest things don't necessarily come from what is traditionally the wisest sources, this is beautifully written fo this odd contest, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023
-
I love what you wrote in your review, It is so true... I am lucky to have moved on to happiness,
Lisa
-
That?s great
-
Yes great
Lisa
Comment from LJbutterfly
This poem rhymes well, and the words sound like the thoughts and feelings of a young person new to developing relationships. Young relationships are difficult. It requires time to learn how to blend two separate personalities. This poem expresses a heartfelt realization that the relationship may have come to an end.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
|
This poem rhymes well, and the words sound like the thoughts and feelings of a young person new to developing relationships. Young relationships are difficult. It requires time to learn how to blend two separate personalities. This poem expresses a heartfelt realization that the relationship may have come to an end.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
-
Yes, that was for sure... When I realised he was cheating on me I about died... Then he decided to leave me for another girl...Talk about pain.. and we had a new born... But time marches on and lucky me I found (or he found me?) the love of my life...Over 40 years ago... I can never remember how long.. Ha ha
Lisa
Comment from pome lover
Well, you were a good writer at 20.
You got an All Time Best for it, so congratulations!
Sounds like a squabble that ended before it could be repaired - a sad poem, beautifully expressed.
I think it's great that you not only kept it but could find it! :)
Katharine
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
|
Well, you were a good writer at 20.
You got an All Time Best for it, so congratulations!
Sounds like a squabble that ended before it could be repaired - a sad poem, beautifully expressed.
I think it's great that you not only kept it but could find it! :)
Katharine
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
-
I am very organised... Huge house and tons of things..including all my art "Stuff" but ask me where a pair of tweezers are and I know exactly where to find them. They say that artist are messy... but for me if things are organised I feel good and can write, play piano or paint better.
Lisa
-
good for you. I'm pretty organized, too, but there is a big box out in the garage of papers and school stuff from years ago. I think I'll bring it in and go through it. If I can lift it :)
-
See, now you are inspired to organise it. I have a huge project to finish.
My father traveled all over the world making movies. I started saving his letters in the 60's... Before he died I put them in order in plastic sheets and into a folder. I ended up with 60's, 70' 80's and 90's... Then, at the age of 96 my father died.
Turns out he saved quite a few of my letters... so I am in the process of adding them to the folders... I left an unused plastic sheet in between my fathers letters so I could add his letters... This is a huge job and I am about 60% through... I sometimes think.. gosh who even cares but I need to finish it...
And, I need to phot copy onto my computer and then flash drives hundreds of old photos...
Never ending...
Lisa
-
wow. that IS a big job.
good luck!
Comment from Kaiku
such a strong presentation of emotion. I am not well schooled in poetry but am appreciative of the heart that writes it. Nicely done at such a tender but mature age.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
|
such a strong presentation of emotion. I am not well schooled in poetry but am appreciative of the heart that writes it. Nicely done at such a tender but mature age.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
-
Hi very nice of you dear Haiku, to take the time to read and write one of my poems...Written when I was so young...
I really appreciate it,
Lisa
-
of course
Comment from Goodadvicechan
It is hard to restore to its origin once a fight has started. It will leave a wound that will take forever to heal. Even it is cured, it will leave a mark.
In this case, the door is slammed and the love is gone. It will now be easy fir it's return.
The best is to give up and look for a new love.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
|
It is hard to restore to its origin once a fight has started. It will leave a wound that will take forever to heal. Even it is cured, it will leave a mark.
In this case, the door is slammed and the love is gone. It will now be easy fir it's return.
The best is to give up and look for a new love.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
-
I did!! And, thank you so much... I won second place in the completion...
-
Good for you. Congratulations
-
Thank you!
LIsa
-
Well, it is okay... not a big deal...really..
Lis
