Reviews from

Coffee With Iris

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Talking to Lou"
Two opposites meet and connect.

21 total reviews 
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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A combination and laughter and tears this time. Will I be as good as you when I grow up? I love your story, but I despair of the end.******************************
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Karen

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
    Write what you like to read. My best advice. Don't write for anyone but yourself. Gretchen
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 17-Aug-2023
    Someone told me I should write comedy like "Erma Bombeck." I am showing my age there! I think i am more like Kathleen Madigan. Karen
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2023
    I love Kathleen Madigan. I was once told I was a female David Spade. Best compliment ever. I m so glad you are enjoying this story. Gretchen
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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Ihope the story is not ending soon .I love both of them and especially Iris. Your story made want to cry . the emotional content is intense and the dialogues are also very touching.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2023
    Thanks so much. I'm trying not to make this too sad, but it can't be helped. Glad you like this. Gretchen
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
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Well written but hopefully it doesn't have to end too soon. My dad had congestive heart and he lived into his 100th year. I think women in general should realize they are still the same people they were young. I've had MS since I was 26 and when I've had attacks they were humbling but others get something "wrong" for the first time, late in andI guess that seems scarier. My husband had cancer at 1 year old and lost an eye to it so I think getting upset about aging and death are a luxury to people who feel entitled to never get sick or get older o never die. People who are sick younger, learn to value every day and be happy for it. Best wishes!

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thanks so much. I'm glad to know your father lived to such a ripe old age. I appreciate your kind review. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Gertrude, your chapter made me cry. I feel so bad for Iris. Why didn't she call Jameson? Maybe is too intimate to share with him. I'm grateful she has Gertrude. Well done

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    My guess, she doesn't want his to see her suffer. Thanks so much for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I had to give the six to Terry. It looks like both of your stories are drawing to an end, and I'll really miss them both.
This chapter had me holding my breath when Iris couldn't breathe. I know what that's like, only I ended up in hospital for a week.
But Iris has the added problem of water around her heart, that is something she's been told can't be stopped now. You really understand what those last days are like, you are telling Iris's story so sensitively, and although she would have loved more time, she has come to accept there isn't any. Gert now understands she will soon lose her friend, and now we have to get Jameson. He needs to know that time is very short. It will break his heart, too. He will feel as if he is losing everyone he loves. This was a lovely, sad, emotion packed chapter, my friend. You really know how to make me cry. Very well done, my friend, and all I can offer now, is a virtual six. Love and hugs, Sandra xx

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    Thank you Sandra. One more chapter for Terry. But Iris and Jameson have several more. Thanks so much. I'm super happy you are invested in both. I wrote several novellas last year before I rejoined Fanstory. I might post another one before I start my second Miranda story. Thanks for this. Gretchen
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 07-Aug-2023
    Please do! I love both these stories. I'm glad Iris and Jameson will be going on a bit longer. I don't know how you can keep your characters separated for one another. That takes more than a little talent!!!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    They're like children. Each has their own personality and interests. Have a great week. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Iris is getting closer and closer to the time she'll die. This makes me sad. I am curious about Jameson. When will he find out how close she is. He needs to be with her. You're doing a good job writing this.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
    Thank you so much. Jameson isn't far away. They will see each other again. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ohhhh dear. I am not ready. Even though you've been so good about preparing me, the more I grow to know and love Iris, the less ready I feel in the face of her departure. You've handled this very realistically but beautifully.

I have just a couple little places that felt like snags:

1.) The sentence: "I had to share it with no one." I'm not sure if that was supposed to be "I had to share it with someone" and that's why she read it aloud to her husband's pic? Or did you mean, "I had no one to share it with." That would be less awkward. "I had to share it with no one," is an odd phrase.

2.) What is a pack of nabs?

3.) About Gert, you wrote: "She turns away, twisting her mouth to keep from crying." Once she turns away, Iris would not know Gert twisted her mouth, and this is all from Iris's perspective.

Everything else is wonderful...well, you know, if waiting for my beloved protagonist to pass can be wonderful.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
    You were among the majority of people who stumbled over that sentence. It was supposed to mean she didn't have to share the spotlight with anyone. I'll rethink that one. Also, I'll revamp the one about Gertrude's face. Thank-you for the input. Always very appreciated. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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Goodness, Gretchen! This, my friend, is powerful writing! I was so engrossed the world around me went silent. Damn, girl!! So good!
The poem "Jameson" wrote was beautiful. I didn't doubt he had it in him.
I had to catch up again, which was well worth the read. Sensational! Best JohnC

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
    Thanks, John. I'm so glad you liked this. Your review made my morning. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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A great episode, you took me to that point of fright, not being able to breathe is near that point of death. I know my father in law died of congenital heart failure, he was 86, and had a heart murmur most of his life. You took into the terror and the regret of hovering between expectance, beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
    Thanks so much. I had one reviewer tell me she was going through the same experience as Iris. That's tough. One thing when it's a character, another thing when it's a real person. Thank-you for the awesome review. Gretchen
reply by royowen on 06-Aug-2023
    Absolutey
Comment from JSD
Excellent
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Oh, an excellent ending, extremely clever. This is a much harder read. Heart-breaking and a proper reality check. Bleak and ominous. I fear the end.

John

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
    Hopefully, her imminent end will be peaceful. It is hard to describe it, even if it's fictional. Real people are struggling with it as we speak. Gretchen