Charles The Killer
A child monster5 total reviews
Comment from evilynne
It is well written, but horrible. I have nothing against horror stories although I am not a fan of the genre. I don't like that it involves a child, although it sounds like a child's vengeful dream.
Best of luck in the contest! Evi
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
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It is well written, but horrible. I have nothing against horror stories although I am not a fan of the genre. I don't like that it involves a child, although it sounds like a child's vengeful dream.
Best of luck in the contest! Evi
Comment Written 09-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from Andrea Kepple
As the reader I feel too far away from the story, there is too much distance for it to make a real impact. It almost reads like a news article. I think your story would have more power if it is told from a closer perspective especially the part about Charles being filled with his victims blood. There are only glimpses into what is happening inside of Charles. I think exploring that would have made a powerful story.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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As the reader I feel too far away from the story, there is too much distance for it to make a real impact. It almost reads like a news article. I think your story would have more power if it is told from a closer perspective especially the part about Charles being filled with his victims blood. There are only glimpses into what is happening inside of Charles. I think exploring that would have made a powerful story.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
What's unsettling about this is that twenty years ago, this would have been pure fiction. Now it's everyone's nightmare because it's within the realm of the plausible.
Terrifyingly well done. Good luck in the polls.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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What's unsettling about this is that twenty years ago, this would have been pure fiction. Now it's everyone's nightmare because it's within the realm of the plausible.
Terrifyingly well done. Good luck in the polls.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from JT traveller
A gruesome tale. Well written and you have told the reader a lot in a short span of time.
A few grammatical corrections, "name is charles." Charles should have a capital C.
"...dying to the ground blood coming out of their teared uniform..." uniform should be plural.
Easily remedied and they do not interfere with the flow of the story. J
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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A gruesome tale. Well written and you have told the reader a lot in a short span of time.
A few grammatical corrections, "name is charles." Charles should have a capital C.
"...dying to the ground blood coming out of their teared uniform..." uniform should be plural.
Easily remedied and they do not interfere with the flow of the story. J
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you for your help and kind review! I have fixed the mistakes.
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My pleasure. Have a great day!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds horrendous and I hope it is not based on a true story. Children think that killing is a bit like a computer game and perhaps not real. A murderous and horrific story here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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This sounds horrendous and I hope it is not based on a true story. Children think that killing is a bit like a computer game and perhaps not real. A murderous and horrific story here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you! It is fiction. I'm glad you enjoyed it.