My Notes From Above The Ground.
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Pushed in the Turbulent Midstream"A collection of episods of a Homeless Woman.
2 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
This biographical excerpt suffers from problems in usage, particularly commas, and sentence design. It also follows the author's stream of thought through a confusing set of associations. In many cases, fewer words could have captured the information presented more clearly and efficiently, with no loss of emotional impact. Stories about courage and honor are always attractive, and the compelling anecdotes of this memoir are memorable even with the stylistic and usage problems.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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This biographical excerpt suffers from problems in usage, particularly commas, and sentence design. It also follows the author's stream of thought through a confusing set of associations. In many cases, fewer words could have captured the information presented more clearly and efficiently, with no loss of emotional impact. Stories about courage and honor are always attractive, and the compelling anecdotes of this memoir are memorable even with the stylistic and usage problems.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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I am bit troubled with this website. I use MS Word' editing software and it gives me a clean chit for Grammar and Spellings and when cut and post on FS page again use Spell check. I will edit it again and take a look at the associations. Unfortunately I get limited time in a day and work on this late at night. I wonder if that contributes to errors. Wordy language is a problem with me. Having studied in the British Education system in which compound sentences were sign of sophistication, and feeding on19th and early 20th century literature has set me in that mold. I have tough time adjusting to the economy of word usage. I am trying to adopt to it, Thanks for the suggestions and rating. All the best.
Arun
Comment from JSD
This might just need a bit of a proofread - there are a few typos, missing letters and words that detract from the story's impact. For the story has such potential. So many threads. So inspiring and such a variety of concerns are treated in it. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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This might just need a bit of a proofread - there are a few typos, missing letters and words that detract from the story's impact. For the story has such potential. So many threads. So inspiring and such a variety of concerns are treated in it. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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I am bit troubled with this website. I use MS Word's editing software and it gives me a clean chit for Grammar and Spellings and when I cut and paste it on FS page, again use Spell check. I will edit it again. Thanks for the suggestions and rating. All the best.
Arun
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A computer is only half the job. No spell check program can tell you properly about accuracy. Look at your penultimate paragraph. You put abbess instead of abyss. Abbess is not spelt wrong. It's just the wrong word, it's a woman in charge of an abbey. At the end your sentence about leftovers is not spelt wrong but the lack of plural makes the sentence grammatically incorrect. There is no substitute for a careful reading through with your own brain.
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Thanks a million. I am loosing my language skills with age. One period of life, I spoke 7 languages including French. Today, I have difficulties spelling simple words, and recalling words and phrases. Most likely, this novel will be my last one. I have to recognize effect of aging. I do appreciate your comments. Often times, I lose concentration and pick wrong word from given choices.
