Reviews from

Dear Diary

A true story that occurred fifty years ago

19 total reviews 
Comment from jmdg1954
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tom.
Stunning. Your poem presents your feeling do eloquently. The final outcome looking st it today doesn't surprise me for the era in which it occurred (I hope that makes sense).

We can all look back to the would-a, should-a, could-a moments.

Nicely presented. I'm sure you've gone ahead and married someone way out of your league, like I did.

John

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    I have been told I married up even though she was a farmer?s daughter living in a hundred year old house but she trained me
    As
    A trainer would a horse.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your poem shows the sadness of a youthful love seen in a wistful moment. I'm glad for the note about you that declares you found love with someone worthy who appreciates you.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    At least, she says she appreciates me. 😇
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a sad story, Tom, that still preys on your mind 50 years later. I'm sure, now that you are older and understand the ways of the world, that it was probably for the best, as the odds of a lasting relationship with a girl 10 years younger at the tender age of 17 probably were pretty long. A 10-year difference later in life is not as significant, but at that young age, you were both at such different places in your life--she an innocent, young high school girl from an apparently strict religious upbringing, you an experienced man of the world sailor. It's possible, but not probable that it would have worked out. You would likely feel the same as her parents if you had the same situation with a daughter of your own.

I can speak from experience because my 21-year-old daughter married a man 16 years her senior, and that did not work out. It took them 12 years to figure out what my wife and I knew from the beginning.

I enjoyed this poem because it hit home for me. - Jim

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    BAskins Robbins has 31 flavors. Each has a group that likes one more flavor than another. Still, wisdom peals from your comment. It wouldn't have lasted even a month, but her dad did not even let the expereience come to be.
reply by Jim Wile on 01-Jul-2023
    He was a smart man.

    I think I like Baskin & Robbins' black cherry the best.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very strongly written, and I guess you were not the first t be rejected on that basis by the father of the girl. Age diffeence was probably significant for the father as well, but another five or ten years and it wouldn't have made any difference.
Wendy

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    true
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Is this a photograph? That's a great effect. And a perfect addition to a moment in time that one would remember given the circumstances. I particularly enjoyed the "woman endowed with inviolable hollow character".

Strong tone here to eloquently express that breathtaking feeling of rejection.

Nice one, Tom.

Gloria

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the read and comment.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    Yes, it is a photograph and one I snapped floating down the Seine in Paree' A unknown lass seemingly finding peace within herself. Nikon 300 with a 300mm lens.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, you've pulled all the strings to readers hearts with this one. It appears you've made the greatest choice, but who knows where that may have gone. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
    I know. She married a preacher had a colony of kids
reply by Ric Myworld on 30-Jun-2023
    Well, you know what she liked to do in her spare time. :-)
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tom,
This is stunning both in words and presentation. You told the story with strong emotions as if the heartbreak occurred today.
Both deserve a six star.
Best wishes
Mary

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
    You are very nice
    May the wind be at your back with following seas
Comment from karenina
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What fine free verse, Tom! It seems our muses always line up to help us unravel heartache and loss... This must have been a very sad time for you... Your words caught on my heartstrings! I read she married a preacher man. And you ended up with the woman of your dreams!

It all worked out for the best. Can't tell that to a sad 27-year-old Navy man though...

Glad I had a six for this one!

Have a great 4th of July long weekend.

Karenina


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
    A six! Karenina had a six remaking and I got it! 🥰
    Hope your recovery is better than expected with your eye surgery.
reply by karenina on 01-Jul-2023
    Amazing... Right? You deserved it! I think Debi had the eye surgery, but thanks for the good wishes!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    Open mouth; insert foot. So many friends, never seen, are easily confused sometimes, even my favorite. :-))
reply by karenina on 01-Jul-2023
    LOL.... I'll tell Deb you were concerned about her!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
    Ok
    Thanks
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Author,
Your bittersweet recollection of an U-verse love is beautiful and sad.
I've felt this way before about a man whom I loved more than he loved me, and a family who maybe thought he could do better than me. He didn't, though.
Exceptional emotional poem.
Good luck,
Cindy

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
    In the day, I could wear my heart on my sleeve, but even after being thrown from Love?s horse I returned to the saddle and tried moving on though a school of co-Ed?s under twenty was interesting, like I thought a three letter jock would be a target,vthe age difference made it unpractical.
reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 30-Jun-2023
    😊. Tom, I fell off the horse a few times myself and got on again with heavier heart.
    I?ve built more walls than China has (excuse the mixed metaphors)
    Have a nice weekend and, again, good luck with your work.
    Cindy
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I understand the heartbreak part and though I am ten and a half years older than my husband, we were at different points in our lives. A man of twenty seven would scare me if he was courting my seventeen year old daughter. But your poem was sweet and heartbreaking nonetheless. Beautifully and thoughtfully written. Gretchen

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
    Thank you. It was a puzzle for a three-letter jock with an ego the size of Texas.