A Paper Time Capsule
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Letter 5"Letters to my granddaughters
54 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
Consider the source and go on with your life ..this is a very meningful advice one can give to one's younger generation. this is well written annd no doubt your grandkids will appreciate.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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Consider the source and go on with your life ..this is a very meningful advice one can give to one's younger generation. this is well written annd no doubt your grandkids will appreciate.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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I appreciate the support.
Comment from Bill Schott
That story of the mother-in-law was never mine. Maybe being a guy I got a free ride, or no one thought me important enough to upset. Now my fathers-in-law were another story.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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That story of the mother-in-law was never mine. Maybe being a guy I got a free ride, or no one thought me important enough to upset. Now my fathers-in-law were another story.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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LOL Thank you for the kind support.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
I know the drill. My mother-in-law was a force to be dealt with over the years, and over the years I just adjusted my armor and got on with my life. We never did become friends, but at least I stopped trying to please her. Concentrated more on my hubby and our children and that saved me. Good story for your grandchildren and you have shown them your good character.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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I know the drill. My mother-in-law was a force to be dealt with over the years, and over the years I just adjusted my armor and got on with my life. We never did become friends, but at least I stopped trying to please her. Concentrated more on my hubby and our children and that saved me. Good story for your grandchildren and you have shown them your good character.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the kind support.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
In our women's writers and poet's club we are writing a letter to our inner child. Your letter made me think of that and also, of my son-in-law. He is very sensitive and gets upset about anything to do with his son, my grandson.
Writing a letter to your granddaughters is a great idea, and I like that you're teaching them life lessons. Well done!!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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In our women's writers and poet's club we are writing a letter to our inner child. Your letter made me think of that and also, of my son-in-law. He is very sensitive and gets upset about anything to do with his son, my grandson.
Writing a letter to your granddaughters is a great idea, and I like that you're teaching them life lessons. Well done!!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the kind support.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent advice, that everyone should take to heart with family members. My father-in-law and sister-in-law were co-haters where I was concerned. I ignored them and I can't say they became friends, but we managed not to kill each other. Although there was a time when he was insulting the sandwiches I was making and shouldn't have done that when I had a sharp knife in my hand. My ten-year old daughter talked me down.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Excellent advice, that everyone should take to heart with family members. My father-in-law and sister-in-law were co-haters where I was concerned. I ignored them and I can't say they became friends, but we managed not to kill each other. Although there was a time when he was insulting the sandwiches I was making and shouldn't have done that when I had a sharp knife in my hand. My ten-year old daughter talked me down.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the kind support.
Comment from Paul Manton
Hello Barbara. I think that this is the first time I reviewed your work.
It is brave to write about a family member who hurt you so deeply, but I see that your mother-in-law died 24 years ago, 'a very unhappy lady'. That is a tragedy, for which, I am sure, you were not to blame. I should be surprised if, after all the work and prayer you put in, you don't know what made her so unhappy. Was there no one who could reach her and help her to regain her equilibrium? You must have helped enormously over the years - but still there was no resolution at the end.
The advice you are presenting to us here, form a close and trusted friend:
CONSIDER THE SOURCE AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE is presumably putting God first and widening your perspective - giving Him control, and trusting him to help you and your mother in law - less anger, less recrimination, less fear, less anxiety - more peace, more strength, more resilience.
My biggest question though is my perceived gap in your story: where on earth is your husband? surely this is between the three of you - yet you don't mention him once in your account.
Next question: is it your husband who has, however unwittingly, been the elephant in the room?
I wonder if this is a question that will one day (in some form or other) be asked by your granddaughters.
Thank you, Barbara, for this thoughtful article.
Paul
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Hello Barbara. I think that this is the first time I reviewed your work.
It is brave to write about a family member who hurt you so deeply, but I see that your mother-in-law died 24 years ago, 'a very unhappy lady'. That is a tragedy, for which, I am sure, you were not to blame. I should be surprised if, after all the work and prayer you put in, you don't know what made her so unhappy. Was there no one who could reach her and help her to regain her equilibrium? You must have helped enormously over the years - but still there was no resolution at the end.
The advice you are presenting to us here, form a close and trusted friend:
CONSIDER THE SOURCE AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE is presumably putting God first and widening your perspective - giving Him control, and trusting him to help you and your mother in law - less anger, less recrimination, less fear, less anxiety - more peace, more strength, more resilience.
My biggest question though is my perceived gap in your story: where on earth is your husband? surely this is between the three of you - yet you don't mention him once in your account.
Next question: is it your husband who has, however unwittingly, been the elephant in the room?
I wonder if this is a question that will one day (in some form or other) be asked by your granddaughters.
Thank you, Barbara, for this thoughtful article.
Paul
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the kind support and please drop by again. My husband refused to get involved. The reason for my mother-in-law's unhappiness was the numerous affairs my father-in-law had. Everybody knew it was true but refused to believe. He was minister. Finally, most of the family realized it's true, but two out the five children still refuse to believe it, even though it slapped them in the face.
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I am so sorry - what a 'tangled web'.
I rarely think I'm lucky to have no family, but I'm glad my former family were straightforward and, mostly, happy. I shall be happy to review you again, Barbara. I just received a great honor from the committee.
Paul
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What honor? I haven't seen it. I want to congratulate you.
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Okay, I searched it out. Congregations for being reviewer of the month. I can understand why!! You deserve it!!!
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Thanks, Barbara.
I'm still new though - with lots to learn.
Paul
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Thanks again.
Comment from Lisasview
Your girlfriend was one smart cookie!!! And, well your mother in~law sounds as if she was quite jealous of you...
Too bad she was so unhappy... that kind of energy especially to a young girl is terrible.
Really enjoyed reading this...
Lisasview, new to this site
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Your girlfriend was one smart cookie!!! And, well your mother in~law sounds as if she was quite jealous of you...
Too bad she was so unhappy... that kind of energy especially to a young girl is terrible.
Really enjoyed reading this...
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the support.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Good artwork, notes, and letter, barbara. I am sorry your mother-in-law died unhappy, but I am glad you were able to establish a relationship with her.
You do a good job showing your granddaughters how to deal with a difficult situation, and even though people are family, they aren't always right. You showed them by example how you tried to improve this relationship even though it wasn't easy. It also shows them you don't turn away from people, but try to find ways to solve the situation for your own peace of mind and that of the family. I like the thought that you shared, as well as turning to your friend and knowing you could trust her advice.
Lastly, you show them it wasn't an easy thing to do, but you persevered and the relationship improved, and you let the girls know how this advice has helped you through your life. The lessons you shared are also very good.
Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Good artwork, notes, and letter, barbara. I am sorry your mother-in-law died unhappy, but I am glad you were able to establish a relationship with her.
You do a good job showing your granddaughters how to deal with a difficult situation, and even though people are family, they aren't always right. You showed them by example how you tried to improve this relationship even though it wasn't easy. It also shows them you don't turn away from people, but try to find ways to solve the situation for your own peace of mind and that of the family. I like the thought that you shared, as well as turning to your friend and knowing you could trust her advice.
Lastly, you show them it wasn't an easy thing to do, but you persevered and the relationship improved, and you let the girls know how this advice has helped you through your life. The lessons you shared are also very good.
Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the support.
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You are welcome.
Comment from jmdg1954
As myself, being a son in an Italian household, there was no girl that would meet my mothers expectations. My wife and mother "warmed" up over the years but there was always a little dry feeling around.
I could write stories based on certain situations.
Anyway, another time,
John
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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As myself, being a son in an Italian household, there was no girl that would meet my mothers expectations. My wife and mother "warmed" up over the years but there was always a little dry feeling around.
I could write stories based on certain situations.
Anyway, another time,
John
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the support.
Comment from DeboraDyess
Hello, Barbara ~
What a beautiful lesson to share with your granddaughters. I know they'll appreciate this.
A couple of thoughts, if I may:
~ I know we couldn't continue like this. >> I knew
~ Over time we became good friends. >> Over time, we became good friends.
I love your lessons learned.
blessings to you and those sweet girls.
Deb
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Hello, Barbara ~
What a beautiful lesson to share with your granddaughters. I know they'll appreciate this.
A couple of thoughts, if I may:
~ I know we couldn't continue like this. >> I knew
~ Over time we became good friends. >> Over time, we became good friends.
I love your lessons learned.
blessings to you and those sweet girls.
Deb
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the support. Thank you for the corrections. I have made them. I always appreciate the help.