Grasping the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Left Behind"The Followup to Chasing the Elusive Dream
27 total reviews
Comment from Anne Theriault
Flowing story and easy to follow storyline at first. A lot of open spaces and air, which is what I personally prefer reading. Story keeps moving. Some micromanagement: one misspelling at "Vincente was of European descent." A word you meant to put in, "there WERE always pressmen at work when I left". I would put a comma after "left" just before "leaving me a prisoner", otherwise, it sounds like, "they left leaving me." I was a bit concerned that you didn't tie the first part of the story about St. Patrick's Day celebrations with the second section about being trapped in a building when you began building your third section. The selling of a house and a move have nothing to do with the title, you see. Info about selling a house, and insurance, and down payments don't really have as much to do with being, and so I would remove the last two paragraphs and end it at "It was in a much newer printing company etc." On a personal note, I don't think it's legal that any property in the U.S. have a feature of not being able to exit through its doors. You might want to research that and expand this non-fiction writing to include it, at a later date. Thank you for the story.
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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Flowing story and easy to follow storyline at first. A lot of open spaces and air, which is what I personally prefer reading. Story keeps moving. Some micromanagement: one misspelling at "Vincente was of European descent." A word you meant to put in, "there WERE always pressmen at work when I left". I would put a comma after "left" just before "leaving me a prisoner", otherwise, it sounds like, "they left leaving me." I was a bit concerned that you didn't tie the first part of the story about St. Patrick's Day celebrations with the second section about being trapped in a building when you began building your third section. The selling of a house and a move have nothing to do with the title, you see. Info about selling a house, and insurance, and down payments don't really have as much to do with being, and so I would remove the last two paragraphs and end it at "It was in a much newer printing company etc." On a personal note, I don't think it's legal that any property in the U.S. have a feature of not being able to exit through its doors. You might want to research that and expand this non-fiction writing to include it, at a later date. Thank you for the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you Anne, I see you're new, which explains the threes stars Welcome to fan story. I hope your like it. My writing slyle in this piece and more of a journal type, and I don't need to tie things together as you would a story with a theme.
Beth
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OK. I get it.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wowie zowie! That had to be seriously stressful! And, as you mentioned, how that could have happened in the first place --and with no phone numbers anywhere to call for assistance-- is pretty unthinkable! Glad you were able to have a happy ending, but it sure was dicey for awhile!!
Your writing was engrossing. I felt all kinds of jitters as I continued to read...faster and faster, I should add!!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Wowie zowie! That had to be seriously stressful! And, as you mentioned, how that could have happened in the first place --and with no phone numbers anywhere to call for assistance-- is pretty unthinkable! Glad you were able to have a happy ending, but it sure was dicey for awhile!!
Your writing was engrossing. I felt all kinds of jitters as I continued to read...faster and faster, I should add!!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for reviewing this story. I enjoyed reading your comments. I was especially glad to get this on because it was number 26 when puts it in a higher catagory.
Beth
Comment from Faith Williams
New Orleans is definitely a melting pot of cultures. I love that the Irish threw out ingredients. It made me chuckle.
It's odd that they wouldn't make sure the building was empty before locking the doors. I wouldn't have liked it either.
I doubt Chevron's generosity would be matched by any company today. A different time.
Thanks for sharing, Beth. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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New Orleans is definitely a melting pot of cultures. I love that the Irish threw out ingredients. It made me chuckle.
It's odd that they wouldn't make sure the building was empty before locking the doors. I wouldn't have liked it either.
I doubt Chevron's generosity would be matched by any company today. A different time.
Thanks for sharing, Beth. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thank you Faith. There employees there with different shifts. Since it was unusual for the plant not to be open 24 hours day, no one was responsible for checking to see if the building was empty. I agree that companies wouldn't likely pay for moves today.
Beth
Comment from LJbutterfly
Being lock in an industrial building located in a shady part of town sounds like a living nightmare. I'm sure lighting was at a minimum. Fortunately, you were able to get help, and ultimately acquired another job. Each of your stories contain mystery and adventure. I enjoyed your description of New Orleans and its never ending celebrations, since that is a city I have never visited. Looking forward to your adventures looking for a house.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Being lock in an industrial building located in a shady part of town sounds like a living nightmare. I'm sure lighting was at a minimum. Fortunately, you were able to get help, and ultimately acquired another job. Each of your stories contain mystery and adventure. I enjoyed your description of New Orleans and its never ending celebrations, since that is a city I have never visited. Looking forward to your adventures looking for a house.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much for a delightful review. I appreciate your comments.
Beth
Comment from Barbara H.
BethShelby I wanted to say hello to another fellow Tennessean. I live in Nashville. You are the first I have seen since I joined FanStory over a month ago. This is my first review of a non-fiction piece. The description of the St. Patrick's Day celebration in New Orleans made me think of the times when I was in Savannah, Ga. for their festivities in the 1980's. I can't imagine being locked in the office building!! At least you had some friends to turn to. Barbara H.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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BethShelby I wanted to say hello to another fellow Tennessean. I live in Nashville. You are the first I have seen since I joined FanStory over a month ago. This is my first review of a non-fiction piece. The description of the St. Patrick's Day celebration in New Orleans made me think of the times when I was in Savannah, Ga. for their festivities in the 1980's. I can't imagine being locked in the office building!! At least you had some friends to turn to. Barbara H.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much Barbara. It is nice to meet someone else from Tennessee. There must be more but the only other one I sure about is Papa55mike. I think he lives in northwest Tennessee. I really appreciate your review. We Tenneessians need to stick together so I follow you when you post.
Beth
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing another great experience that takes me back to the land blues, jazz, king cakes, and party times. I don't miss the place, but I sure enjoyed the good times and great foot while I was there. :-)
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thanks for sharing another great experience that takes me back to the land blues, jazz, king cakes, and party times. I don't miss the place, but I sure enjoyed the good times and great foot while I was there. :-)
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you Ric. I'm like you. It was fun living there and I have a lot of good memories but I say that I miss it.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
Good ending with the reader wanting to read more. Decorating altars with Italian dishes--too bad you couldn't find a photo of that! How scary to be locked up in a building and a good reason to look for another job.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Good ending with the reader wanting to read more. Decorating altars with Italian dishes--too bad you couldn't find a photo of that! How scary to be locked up in a building and a good reason to look for another job.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you much for this review. I did seem some very beautiful shot of the Italian church. They may have been a better choice than the parade stopped by the bar to drink green beer.
Beth
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thank you for this interesting story. That must have been scary being locked in that building by yourself. I don't blame you a bit for looking for another job. I liked your mention of the green roses at the parade. Years ago I worked at a place where our plant manager was Irish, and on St Patrick's Day he gave us ladies all green carnations.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you for this interesting story. That must have been scary being locked in that building by yourself. I don't blame you a bit for looking for another job. I liked your mention of the green roses at the parade. Years ago I worked at a place where our plant manager was Irish, and on St Patrick's Day he gave us ladies all green carnations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you Anne. Yes it was unnerving being locked in so long. Yes carnations are easy to color. Just a few drops of food color in the water and turn fast. I guess roses are colore the same way.
Beth
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I think St Patricks day is celebrated all over the world these days Beth. How awful that you found yourself locked in that building for 3 hours! I would have been quite annoyed but it seems you took it all in your stride. Next job is to find a home to live in as time marches on, I enjoyed your post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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I think St Patricks day is celebrated all over the world these days Beth. How awful that you found yourself locked in that building for 3 hours! I would have been quite annoyed but it seems you took it all in your stride. Next job is to find a home to live in as time marches on, I enjoyed your post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Dolly. St. Patrick's Day has been acknowledged every year but New Orleans is the only place I've lived where they had a big parade. I know they do other big cities. I didn't take being locked in in stride. I found another job and quit working there. I thought it was managments fault for allowing that to happen. I really appreciate the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A question did the presses leave or the pressmen? Being locked in must have been frightening. I was not locked in, but when they shut the city down because of the Boston bombing, I was the only person in a 7 story building. It was unsettling, but to be locked in! I enjoyed your telling of the feast as we have them in the Boston Italian North End. Boston also as a heavy Irish population.
So well told.
Mary
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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A question did the presses leave or the pressmen? Being locked in must have been frightening. I was not locked in, but when they shut the city down because of the Boston bombing, I was the only person in a 7 story building. It was unsettling, but to be locked in! I enjoyed your telling of the feast as we have them in the Boston Italian North End. Boston also as a heavy Irish population.
So well told.
Mary
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Mary, I so glad you noticed it sounds as through the presses left. I changed that sentence. I didn't realize they shut down the whole city. I'm sure that was an eerie feeling. I would want the doors locked as long as I had a key to get out. Thanks for the review.
Beth
