Coffee With Iris
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Contact"Two opposites meet and connect.
22 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I am tearing up. Sniffle sniffle, you can sure write,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle, Karen
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2023
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I am tearing up. Sniffle sniffle, you can sure write,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle,sniffle, Karen
Comment Written 12-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2023
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Thank you. Gretchen
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welcome
Comment from Rachelle Allen
WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! I hate you so much right now, Gretchen Hargis!!! Please don't break my heart. Iris is so special, and Jameson needs her SOOO much!! (I am SOO glad I waited to read this when I could read it en masse!! I would NOT have been okay to read this with seven days in-between each chapter!!!)
Which reminds me...how in the HELL do you write two consecutive books? You're, like, James Patterson or something!!!
xoxoxoox
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! I hate you so much right now, Gretchen Hargis!!! Please don't break my heart. Iris is so special, and Jameson needs her SOOO much!! (I am SOO glad I waited to read this when I could read it en masse!! I would NOT have been okay to read this with seven days in-between each chapter!!!)
Which reminds me...how in the HELL do you write two consecutive books? You're, like, James Patterson or something!!!
xoxoxoox
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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I wrote this novella last year, before I got back on Fanstory. When I got that 100 bucks for June recognized writer, I decided to post it. So far so good. Terry Joe is a work in progress. Thanks so much. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh no! I feel sorry for both Iris and Jameson. They've just met each other and a clear bond has formed. Iris is right about Jameson going to see a lawyer, he must if he wants to carry on seeing his son. I don't trust his wife. Another excellent chapter is this lovely story. :))Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Oh no! I feel sorry for both Iris and Jameson. They've just met each other and a clear bond has formed. Iris is right about Jameson going to see a lawyer, he must if he wants to carry on seeing his son. I don't trust his wife. Another excellent chapter is this lovely story. :))Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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They are both going to feel some heartbreak. Him more than her. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh no! I feel sorry for both Iris and Jameson. They've just met each other and a clear bond has formed. Iris is right about Jameson going to see a lawyer, he must if he wants to carry on seeing his son. I don't trust his wife. Another excellent chapter is this lovely story. :))Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Oh no! I feel sorry for both Iris and Jameson. They've just met each other and a clear bond has formed. Iris is right about Jameson going to see a lawyer, he must if he wants to carry on seeing his son. I don't trust his wife. Another excellent chapter is this lovely story. :))Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thank you for this. I appreciate this awesome review. Gretchen. P.s. love your profile pic.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a very clever story being conveyed through this conversation between Jameson and Iris. The dialogue is excellently done bringing both the characters to life and the narrative of the prose. It is deeply poignant especially on the part of Iris but also Jameson who is so anguished, indecisive and clutching at any possibility to get his life back again. Well done Gretchen! This is deserving of a 6* but sadly I have none - so please accept a virtual one for now. Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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This is a very clever story being conveyed through this conversation between Jameson and Iris. The dialogue is excellently done bringing both the characters to life and the narrative of the prose. It is deeply poignant especially on the part of Iris but also Jameson who is so anguished, indecisive and clutching at any possibility to get his life back again. Well done Gretchen! This is deserving of a 6* but sadly I have none - so please accept a virtual one for now. Debbie
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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I'll take the six virtually ir otherwise. Lol. I'm just very happy you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for this awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from jmdg1954
These two, Jameson and Iris are having to lean on each other more now then ever. Jameson took the harder blow with the news from Iris.
This continues to develop nicely.
Cheers.
John
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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These two, Jameson and Iris are having to lean on each other more now then ever. Jameson took the harder blow with the news from Iris.
This continues to develop nicely.
Cheers.
John
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you, John. I appreciate your kind review. Gretchen
Comment from rama devi
I missed some chapters but had no trouble getting pulled back in to the story. That's a sign of good writing! Strong emotional overtones in the closing. I just love both your characters. Good people.
This is well paced and has fine descriptive detail.
A few critique notes:
* Not sad or depressed acting, per se, but not her usual self.
Suggest moving ACTING:
Not acting sad or depressed, per se, but not her usual self.
From the context, readers knows who speaks, so both these speech tags are unnecessary:
"How was your weekend? " I ask.
"Truly exciting," she says.
*but one look at her face(,) and I see that she is.
* I can't help but wonder how Iris made it(,) day after day.
* But, what helped me the most, was hearing a man who had lost his wife
Those commas are not required. I suggest:
But what helped me the most was hearing a man who had lost his wife
*Her eyes look wet(,) but no tear escapes.
* But,(NO COMMA) it takes two willing people to make a marriage work."
*Suggest trimming this speech tag:
She's smiling but won't look me in the eye. "Iris, is everything okay?" I ask.
I enjoyed this, dear.
May not read all chapters, but I'll visit when I can...
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I missed some chapters but had no trouble getting pulled back in to the story. That's a sign of good writing! Strong emotional overtones in the closing. I just love both your characters. Good people.
This is well paced and has fine descriptive detail.
A few critique notes:
* Not sad or depressed acting, per se, but not her usual self.
Suggest moving ACTING:
Not acting sad or depressed, per se, but not her usual self.
From the context, readers knows who speaks, so both these speech tags are unnecessary:
"How was your weekend? " I ask.
"Truly exciting," she says.
*but one look at her face(,) and I see that she is.
* I can't help but wonder how Iris made it(,) day after day.
* But, what helped me the most, was hearing a man who had lost his wife
Those commas are not required. I suggest:
But what helped me the most was hearing a man who had lost his wife
*Her eyes look wet(,) but no tear escapes.
* But,(NO COMMA) it takes two willing people to make a marriage work."
*Suggest trimming this speech tag:
She's smiling but won't look me in the eye. "Iris, is everything okay?" I ask.
I enjoyed this, dear.
May not read all chapters, but I'll visit when I can...
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I do love to see when you have reviewed my work. It's not strictly editing. It's the full Monty (you cover everything, grammar, spelling, pacing, and you tell me how it feels and makes you feel.) I appreciate all the time and thought you put into this. Thank you. Gretchen
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Aw, thank you, dear Gretchen. That's how reviewing should always be! Wish more people did it that way.
Big warm smiles,
rd
Comment from royowen
Poor Jameson, just when he gets someone to lean on, a confidante to share his distress, his life is a little tattered, Iris comes out with this shocking, two people who have need of one another, she gives him the news, beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Poor Jameson, just when he gets someone to lean on, a confidante to share his distress, his life is a little tattered, Iris comes out with this shocking, two people who have need of one another, she gives him the news, beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Thanks, Roy. I'm hoping the story of the budding friendship outweighs the sadness. Gretchen
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Me too
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Petri and Iris make such good friends couple. I'm sad Iris may die so soon, just when Jameson was getting to know her. Petri has to deal with a lot of loss. I wonder if a heart transplant would work.
I enjoyed reading this chapter. It's just the right length. It's also very engaging and the characters are lovable. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Petri and Iris make such good friends couple. I'm sad Iris may die so soon, just when Jameson was getting to know her. Petri has to deal with a lot of loss. I wonder if a heart transplant would work.
I enjoyed reading this chapter. It's just the right length. It's also very engaging and the characters are lovable. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much. I think Iris is learning to accept her fate. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Ulla
Hi Gretchen, this was a very moving write. I know I've only come into the story but I follow on just fine. Iris needs Jameson and he needs her. But now she reveals her life has cone to an end. Very emotional and well written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Hi Gretchen, this was a very moving write. I know I've only come into the story but I follow on just fine. Iris needs Jameson and he needs her. But now she reveals her life has cone to an end. Very emotional and well written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you were able to figure out what was going on. Gretchen