Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

Very nice poem for you entry in the 3-7-5...........
I wish you the very best of luck...............
Lisasview, ..............new to this site...........

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023

Thanks for your review Lisa!

Let?s seize the moment and post a poem today or tomorrow (-;

reply by Lisasview on 25-Jun-2023

Great Idea... I did post two yesterday ...does that count? ha ha.. actually one is a dialog contest...

Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

Every day offers new opportunities and your poem is a well crafted concept piece for encouraging action. The illustration is intriguing and your whole presentation warrants a closer look.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023

Thanks for such an encouraging review. Illustrations for my posts are predominantly from FanArt. I have used this illustrator before. He is quite different from most illustrators.

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

COOL! I like this one reminiscent of Carpe diem "seize the day"! Nicely done! I find your positive, uplifting and full of brightness.
The picture you chose is appropriate bright colorful and quite nice to look upon.
I see no issues with spelling sentence structure punctuation word choice or subject matter all very well done. It's aesthetically pleasing with a lovely picture too. Good luck in the contest have a great night!

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023

Lea,

Thank you! I usually use FanArt illustrations for all my posts. My style is predominantly written in 5-7-5, but it needed to be shortened for this contest. I guess I did seize the moment.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

breaking dawn
heralds opportunity ~
seize today's
moment

This is how it appears on my full screen, and when copied and pasted, it still shows as four lines. It is good but some editing is needed.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023

You are correct. I fixed it. Thanks!!

Comment from dellsworthpoet

Excellent

A nice sentiment. The syllable count is correct. The presentation fits well with the poem. The flow is good. The language is straightforward and fits the subject.

A suggestion:
In the last line, the way it reads dawn is seizing the opportunity. This could be alleviated by either saying "so seize" or "you seize" with "so" being an invitation and "you" indicating an action already taken. (You could also be I and work the same.)

Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023

Good suggestions, now text edited and became a revision. Thanks!

reply by dellsworthpoet on 25-Jun-2023

You are most welcome.

Comment from jim vecchio

Excellent

Yes, each God-given new dawn gifts us with renewed promises for opportunities. I'll try to remember that when I awaken tomorrow. You said it all while attaining the 3-7-5 needs for submission.

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 Comment Written 24-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023

Thanks Jim.

Sadly, we don?t always take advantage of that possibility. In my case, I don?t post every day. Did I miss an opportunity? LOL

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

I remember that image! Nicely done, your syllable count accurate and, with such a great original quote, you can't go wrong! Good luck in the contest! Debbie

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023

Debbie,

Thanks for your review. I usually use FanArt for all my FanStory posts.